Laura.
An idea suddenly popped in. My tears quickly stopped from flowing.
I turned to Saskia with a new hope rising inside me.
“You said if I die I will be reborn, right?” I tried my luck. I wanted to confirm it.
There was still hope for me. I needed to hold on to that. I didn’t want to vanish.
And when Saskia nodded. Her eyes glint with hope yet with distress and sorrow.
“Don’t tell me you are planning to take your life? I knew I said that I don’t want you to vanish but, I don’t want to lose you also,” Saskia breathed.
“Did I have any other choice left with me? There’s none, right? I refuse to vanish, Sas,” I argued.
“Yeah, but that will also mean, you might no longer become the Remus Pack’s future Luna.”
“I don’t intend to be one, though. I just wanted to live a happy life,” I looked her in the eyes. I wanted her to understand my take on this situation.
“I knew that.” She said with a heavy heart. “That will also mean I will lose you, Laura. I knew I’m tasked to be the guardian of the favored Luna yet, you weren’t just a task for me. You have become a friend to me, a very good friend. If you left this life, we weren’t sure if we would meet again in your next life. I may live a very long life and I can calculate when you will be born. But the thing is, we are not sure what life will throw you, or where life will throw you. We weren’t sure what you would become when you got reincarnated.”
That was a big problem.
“I am not sure if you will be born a werewolf, a human or another entity. We weren’t sure about it, Laura.”
I forced myself to smile at her. My eyes were turning misty. I could not help it.
Why did this conversation sound like a sad goodbye for us?
“I am sorry, Sas…” I breathed hard and deep. I couldn’t contain this sorrow.
It felt like another heavy stone was thrown into my heart. Saskia had been a very nice friend to me also. She was the second most important person to me, next to my parents.
“But I hope you understand. I wanted to live. Maybe you can find me after I was reborn. You said you can calculate the time when I was reborn. Maybe, we will be able to find each other again. Let’s not lose hope here.”
I tried to lighten up the air. Saskia nodded. Her eyes started to fill with tears too.
“For now, please take care of my new self,” I begged her.
“You don’t have to tell me. I was tasked to do so,” she whispered while holding my hands warmly and tightly.
I nodded. I had no choice but to accept that I would be forgotten by those I loved the most.
The only thing that mattered to me now was that my family live a happy life. I could finally leave this lifetime without remorse knowing they will be fine. That’s the only consolation I had.
“So, what could be the best option to do it? Wolfsbane, perhaps?”
I broke into a dry laugh.
Gosh! Plotting my own death sounds ridiculous and crazy!
Saskia shook her head. “I don’t think wolfsbane could be of help. I told you, you are special Laura. Wolfsbane could not help you take your own life. You’ll just suffer,” she commented with certainty.
I was not sure about it, but since she said I was sharing Sabrina’s life, then maybe she was right.
I did not want to suffer anymore, so I better do it shortly and flawlessly.
“Do… Do you have any potions that will help make things easy for me?” I finally asked Saskia.
Taking your own life wasn’t that easy. Perhaps, a potion could help me do it.
Saskia looks intently at me. Her grip on my hands tightened.
I already knew the answer.
She had, but she was still doubtful about giving it to me.
“Please… Sas,” I begged her. “Don’t let me suffer.”
Saskia gave out a loud sigh. Then she let go.
“One moment…”
Saskia left me on the couch and went to her “sacred drawers” where she kept a lot of important potions.
When she came back to me, she was holding a little bottle.
“I don’t want to usher you to your death, Laura. I don’t want to see you leave,” she whispered. And I understood what she meant.
She doesn’t want me to take the potion here, inside her house.
I smiled at her. “And I don’t want to see you cry while I am leaving…”
Another long, deep breath.
“Thank you for everything, Saskia. I may not remember you in my next life, but I know in my heart, I will forever be grateful to you, and love you, my dearest friend.”
I didn’t want to keep it any longer. After giving Saskia a tight and warm embrace, I quickly left the house.
I ran towards the cliff not far from the area but still in the jurisdiction of Remus Pack.
I didn’t want Saskia to sense my death. I knew how hard it will be for Saskia. Her friend, Sabrina Collins' death brought her sorrow, and another friend had to leave her again. I could imagine the pain.
But I also didn’t want to live this lifetime outside of my pack’s territory. Whatever happened, I still considered myself a member of Remus Pack.
“I think this is my final destination.”
I gave the place one last glance. It was my home. If I would be reborn, I wanted to come back here. I wanted to meet them again.
I looked at the small bottle that Saskia gave me. With trembling hands, I opened the cork.
“It’s time…”
I finished the bottle in one gulp. I could feel its quick effect on me. I could feel the poison was starting to blend into my blood.
I was starting to feel breathless. And as I looked at my hands, they were slowly fading, slowly turning into ashes. I didn't know why the process was like this.
Maybe because I wasn't supposed to be here, I couldn't die the natural death.
‘No!’ I heard someone say as my body slowly faded.