17 Father and son

17 Father and son

ANGELO

I sat next to Celeste feeling my hands shake. I couldn't remember the last time I was out of breath, or that I was as nervous about something as I was now. When my eyes saw the phone screen I felt like something in my system short circuited.

It was like seeing myself years ago; When I was his age, it was impossible for anyone to doubt paternity; It was like a copy of me. I thought I couldn't feel a love beyond the physical, or a reason to live, but instantly I had an instinct of protection that I had never felt for anyone.

William.

My son.

My eyes crystalized but I refused to let them see me cry, what I always longed for, a family, was right in front of my eyes.

“Hello,” William murmured, looking at me curiously and then he smiled at me, his small baby teeth appearing.

He felt a strong lump in his throat, my heart beating rapidly.

"Hello," I whispered, feeling that my voice was fragile.

"William," Celeste said when she saw that we both looked at each other in shock without saying anything else, "he is..."

"Your boyfriend?" William asked.

“No,” Celeste said quickly.

"I'm... I'm Angelo," I explained.

"Is that your sheriff's badge?" William asked pointing to my chest and I smiled a little.

"Not a sheriff, I'm a police officer," I simply said, I didn't want to explain to him that I was in fact an undercover agent, maybe he wouldn't understand.

"Wow!" William said and his eyes shone, "you are a hero!"

I felt a lump form in my throat again as I heard my son tell me that he was a hero.

Was I so screwed up inside that this small token of his love and admiration for me managed to rebuild my entire self-esteem in less than a second?

"Could I go with you to kill the bad guys?" William asked.

"Son..." Celeste started to say, but I interrupted her saying:

"Sure, of course," she responded with crystallized eyes.

Then the call ended with the image of my son closing in front of me.

I quickly wiped away the tears that ran down the sides of my eyes so that Celeste wouldn't see them, but she seemed to know that she had indeed been on the verge of crying.

She hugged me and I broke away from her grip like a reflex, feeling weak, however she hugged me again.

"Don't resist, I know you need it," Celeste said. "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"For having stayed away from him all this time."

I let myself be wrapped in her arms for a moment feeling like she was comforting me and then I broke. For a broken soul who always tried to act strong in front of everyone so as not to show weakness and avoid continuing to suffer, it felt comforting to be in the arms of someone who could comfort you without saying anything, or judging you for crying like I was doing now in the arms of the only woman in whom I have found real comfort within all my chaos.

"You won't be able to turn back time, but I hope that unless I have the opportunity to meet him," I murmured, searching his gaze, "I want... to be part of his life, I know that maybe you don't like the idea, but don't take me away from you. the only one who is capable of saving me."

Celeste looked at me and then perhaps feeling remorse she nodded her head.

"Okay," he said and added, "but he won't go out with you to kill people on a patrol."

I laughed a little as did she.

"OK."

She raised her hands and wiped the tears from my face with her delicate fingers, in the short distance our eyes met, our smiles began to diminish to slow and increasingly irregular breaths, and then, in the short distance we both leaned towards each other. the front, our lips impacting each other in a desperate way seeking to be satisfied, but unable to do so, just needing more...

Celeste's hands went to the buttons on my shirt to take them off at the same time my hands went to the buttons on her pants...