Can we not..?
Raven's POV
“Lost! She Lost!” Solan's sharp voice rings through the pack house the moment we step in.
Aul picks up the boy and tosses him up, making him giggle. My heart warms at the sight. The fact that I can leave and be sure my son is in good hands fills me with peace.
“Hi, you are back.” Milly says with a smile, picking up the toys laying around on the floor.
Aul turns to us and lifts a brow as Alpha Kaelen excuses himself, probably heading for his room.
He then steps forward with Solan on his hip. “Hey,” he mutters as the smile on his face drops.
I quietly take Solan from him, placing a gentle kiss on my baby's cheek. “Did you miss Mama?”
“Yes,” Solan says enthusiastically and I smile at him.
“I missed you so much too.” I whisper, pulling him into a hug.
“Play!” Solan grins with twinkling eyes and although it breaks my heart to say no to him, I shake my head.
He pouts but before he can throw a tantrum, Milly steps in.
“How about you play with Milly, hmm?” She says, taking him out of my hold and placing him on his feet.
Solan turns back to me, his eyes pleading but then Milly laughs loudly, running with all his toys. And instantly Solan chases after her, a cry of annoyance leaving his mouth as they head down the hallway.
“So what happened? Why does everyone look so down?” Aul questions, nodding at us to take our seats.
“I feel Alpha Kaelen is upset that I made him lose a possible alliance with Alpha Maxwell.” I mutter weakly.
“You know that's not why he's like that.” Throne cuts in, his tone sharp. “I know he's more upset about how you were treated there than anything else.”
“Now you've lost me there again. What happened to you, Raven? Did they do something?” His questions, sounding worried.
I shake my head before responding. “I walked into Saviour's room and he was lying there, knocked out cold. And Kira, that slut, was right next to him, almost naked.” I say and Aul swallows, his gaze hardening.
“So they slept together?” He murmurs, “Is that what you think?”
“It's not about what I think, Aul. It's about what I saw, okay?”
Aul’s jaw ticks. “You can't just conclude they slept together simply because they were in bed together.”
I scoff bitterly. “And you can conclude that nothing happened?!” I shoot at him.
“Careful,” Throne says gently, his gaze drifting between the both of us. “Don’t let this turn into a fight between you two. That’s not what we need right now.” he says glaring at Aul.
“I was only telling him what I saw.” I grumble, instantly realizing I still have some pent up anger in me.
“And what I'm trying to say is, I can't say if Saviour will cheat on you or not but I know he certainly wouldn't do it with Kira.”
I cross my arm over my chest, “And why is that? How can you be so sure?”
Honestly at this point I'll take anything, any reason at all. Something to convince myself with.
Aul exhales, his eyes watching me, “When he's ready he'll talk to you.”
“That's the problem. Why am I always left in the dark? What is it you know? Tell me or we cease being friends.” I blurt out, not quite meaning those words.
Throne sighs and leans into his seat. “I don't think you should force an explanation out of him, Raven.”
“Then what am I supposed to do? What if he doesn't wake up? What if he does but he's never the same again?” Tears well up in my eyes.
Throne holds my gaze. “He's going to be fine…”
“You don't know that.” I cut him off. “I literally don't know anything about him anymore.”
Throne leans forward. “You know what, I think you need a good rest, Raven.”
“No, what I need is to know what it is everyone except me knows.” I sniffle, disliking how emotional I'm getting. But I can't help it.
I can't help but feel I should have stayed back, made sure he was alright.
How could I, when he left without an explanation. How desperate do I have to be to go such length for a man who doesn't love me as much as he claims to.
“His mother was in jail,”
My head snaps up at Throne's words. Aul looks equally surprised.
“W.. what?”
Throne sighs, “Victor said they are trying to keep it a secret for as long as possible but Saviour got a letter that day. She was in jail because the king knows about Aul now.”
“I indeed received a letter but I didn't think much of it.” Aul says.
“So, you see Raven, I don't think he left you as you think. Perhaps his mother was truly the only reason.” Throne says.
My breathing eases a bit and I mutter, “Why didn't he say anything to me?”
Did you make yourself available?
The thought hurts to consider but I was upset. I couldn't help but feel like an idiot all over again and now it seems like all of this is my fault. At least most of it.
“Why do you look so down? No one is saying this is your fault. Saviour didn't communicate… that's his fault. But now that you know, how you react matters.” Throne says.
“But he's Saviour, you make it seem like he's to be pampered.”
“Even the greatest alpha's have had their traumas. You won't believe how many times I've cried in Victor's arms.”
“Really?” Aul's brows furrow. “I didn't know you both were that close.
Throne swallows and coughs and Aul turns his gaze to me.
“Am I missing something?” He questions, glancing briefly at Throne and then back at me.
“Uhhhh,” I stall.
“We're keeping a secret until Victor is ready but he's my mate.” Throne blurts out in one breath.
“Wait, for real? He's the one you bought that balm for?” Aul asks, his eyes growing wide.
Throne looks away, his shoulders tense.
“Or wait, was the balm for yourself?” Aul asks innocently but I chuckle in response as Throne groans, glaring at the table.
“Can we not talk about my sex life?”
Aul smiles and nods but continues asking questions. “So you've been together all this time?”
I sigh, getting lost in my thoughts again.