Chapter 91
Lirael
The pain hit first—a dull throb behind my temples that dragged me up through layers of unconsciousness. I forced my eyes open and pressed my palm against my forehead with a low groan.
Sebastian's voice filtered through the fog, sharp and cold. He stood by the window with his back to me, phone pressed to his ear.
"I said do it exactly as I ordered," he snarled into the phone. "Are you deaf? Inject Lucas Blackwood with a triple dose of testosterone boosters and throw him into the male death row block. I don't care how long it takes—I want him begging for death by the time those animals are done with him."
I blinked slowly, trying to piece together fragments of memory. Running through snow. The drug burning through my veins. Sebastian's arms around me. After that, nothing but darkness and the vague impression of being carried, of hushed voices and antiseptic smells.
I looked down at myself. Hospital gown. The dull ache in my lower abdomen had faded to something manageable, and more importantly, the terrible heat of the drug had vanished entirely.
Sebastian ended his call and turned. The moment his eyes landed on me, something flickered across his face—surprise, maybe relief—before he buried it beneath his usual mask.
"You're awake," he said, his voice gentling in a way that felt almost foreign. He crossed to my bedside. "How do you feel?"
I watched him approach, my fingers curling into the thin blanket. "My head hurts. What happened last night? After the snow, everything's just... blank."
It wasn't entirely a lie. The gaps in my memory were real enough, even if I suspected filling them in might tell me things I didn't want to know.
A brisk knock interrupted us. A middle-aged woman in a white coat entered, carrying a tablet and penlight.
"Good, you're conscious," she said. "I'm Dr. Martinez. I need to ask you some questions." She approached with the efficiency of someone who'd done this a thousand times. "Can you tell me your name?"
I let her shine the light in my eyes, following her finger as she moved it back and forth. But my gaze kept drifting to Sebastian, who stood at the foot of the bed with his arms crossed, watching me with an intensity that made my skin prickle.
"Your name?" Dr. Martinez repeated patiently.
"Lirael," I said after a beat of hesitation. "I think. That's my name, right?"
Dr. Martinez made a note. "And do you remember what happened yesterday? How you were injured?"
I shook my head slowly. "No, I... it's all just empty. I remember being cold. Being in pain. But nothing before that." I let my voice crack slightly. "Why can't I remember?"
The doctor's expression remained neutral, but I caught the way her gaze flicked to Sebastian. "You're experiencing traumatic amnesia, likely caused by severe stress, the drug you were exposed to, and a moderate concussion. It's not uncommon for patients to lose memories of the events immediately before and after such trauma. You might not recognize familiar people or places for a while."
Sebastian's hands tightened on his arms. "She doesn't remember me?"
"It's very possible," Dr. Martinez confirmed carefully. "Memory recovery varies widely. Some patients regain everything within days or weeks. Others may never fully recover certain memories. The best thing you can do is be patient and help her rebuild those connections naturally."
She spent another few minutes checking my reflexes before stepping back with a satisfied nod. "Your physical injuries are healing well. I'll leave you two to talk, but call if you experience any sudden headaches, nausea, or confusion."
The door clicked shut. Sebastian moved slowly, deliberately, lowering himself into the chair beside the bed. He leaned forward, bringing himself closer to my eye level. His hand reached out, hovering near my face before dropping to catch my hand instead, his fingers warm around mine.
His touch sent an involuntary shiver through me. I looked down at our joined hands and forced myself to meet his eyes with what I hoped looked like genuine confusion.
"Who..." I let my voice come out soft, uncertain. "Who are you?"
The silence felt suffocating. Sebastian's grip tightened fractionally, and something passed across his face before his mouth curved into a smile that held an edge of danger.
"I'm your husband," he said, his voice low and steady with an undertone of dark amusement. "We've been married for five years."
I let my eyes go wide. "My... my husband?!"
He nodded solemnly, his thumb tracing small circles on the back of my hand. "That's right. You've been in love with me since we were children. You used to do the most reckless things to get my attention—climbed onto the roof once to confess your feelings, nearly fell off. Another time, you jumped out of a moving airplane just to prove how brave you were."
My mouth twitched despite my best efforts. "That's... that sounds insane..."
"You were always willing to risk everything for me," Sebastian continued, his expression so earnest it would have been convincing if not for the amusement in his eyes. "You told me once that even if you lost every memory, your heart would still remember me. That our connection was deeper than conscious thought."
He leaned closer as he spoke, close enough that I could feel his breath on my face, could smell expensive cologne mixed with something uniquely him. My heart hammered, and I gripped the blanket tighter, trying to maintain the facade while every instinct screamed at me to either run or lean in—and I wasn't sure which impulse frightened me more.
Then he kissed me, sudden and claiming, and my entire world narrowed to the press of his mouth against mine, the way his hand cupped my jaw with a gentleness that contradicted the possessive heat. For a moment I forgot to maintain my performance, forgot everything except the way my body responded as if it had been waiting for exactly this.
I pushed him back with both hands, my face burning. "What are you doing?!"
Sebastian pulled back with obvious reluctance. "Kissing my wife. You used to love when I kissed you like that—you'd always kiss me back, always ask for more."
I took a deep breath, trying to slow my racing pulse. But there was an opportunity here, I realized. A chance to establish boundaries while he was pretending to be something he'd never been.
"Then..." I started carefully. "Are you good to me normally? Do you ever get angry at me, or hurt me?"
Something flickered in Sebastian's expression. He shook his head with exaggerated sincerity. "Never. I have the most even temperament you've ever seen. I've never once raised my voice to you. Whatever you want to do, I support completely."
"You don't lock me up or keep me from going places?"
"How could I?" Sebastian spread his hands. "I respect your freedom above all else. You can go anywhere you want, see anyone you want. I only accompany you when you ask."
"And you don't threaten me? Bully me? Use your power to control me?"