Chapter 181 181

Chapter 181 181
Emma's POV:

He came to me when I told him to. His hands found my waist and they were warm, the way they always were, that difference between his temperature and mine that used to surprise me and now I craved it. I put my arms around his neck, pulled his mouth down, and this kiss was different from the others. Deeper. Wetter. His tongue against mine and his hands sliding up my back, slow, until his fingers found the clasp of my bra and stopped.

"Can I?"

"Yes."

He tried. I felt his fingers working at the tiny hook, too big, too warm, shaking, and his jaw was tight from concentrating so hard. He couldn't get it open. Of course he couldn't, his hands were too big and the hook was made for normal human fingers that weren't radiating heat.

"Here." I reached back, unhooked it myself and let it fall to the floor. Looked at him without covering up, without crossing my arms, without looking away, because I wasn't going to do that. Not with him.

His face changed. The gold was creeping into his eyes, thin rings around the brown, and he was looking at me the way you look at something you're afraid to break.

"Touch me," I said.

He put his hands on me. So gentle it made my chest hurt, his thumbs moving across my skin, learning shapes, and I heard myself make this sound that was barely breath and felt his palms get warmer for a second before the heat pulled back.

"You're hot," I said. "Your hands."

"Too much?"

"No. It feels good. Like... really warm bath good."

We ended up on the bed. My back hit the mattress and he was above me, braced on his forearms, holding himself up on purpose, keeping his weight off me like I was going to shatter, and when our chests pressed together the contact made him freeze. His jaw clenched. He stopped breathing.

"You okay?" I said.

"Yeah. Just, everything is a lot right now."

I kissed his neck. Right below his ear where I could feel his pulse hammering against my lips, fast, way too fast, and I ran my hands down his back and let my nails drag lightly and the sound he made was rough and completely unguarded and something inside me turned over.

My hands found his belt. "Can I?"

"Yeah. God, yeah."

I undid it. Button, zipper, my fingers brushing against him through the fabric, and he pressed his face into the pillow and I could feel the heat coming off his skin, hotter than before. He kicked off his shoes and jeans and I pushed him onto his back and sat up next to him, kneeling on the bed. His boxers weren't hiding much. His chest was rising and falling fast. The gold in his eyes was more than rings now.

I leaned down and kissed his chest. Then lower. My mouth moving over his skin, his stomach, following that line of muscle, and I hooked my fingers into his waistband and looked up at him.

"Can I?"

He nodded. Couldn't speak, I could see that, his throat working and nothing coming out.

I pulled them down. Looked at him, all of him, and I smiled because I couldn't help it, this slow smile that had nothing to do with being polite. I wrapped my hand around him and his whole body jerked off the bed.

"Wait." He grabbed my wrist. Not hard, careful, always careful, and I could feel the heat of his fingers even in that grip. "Wait wait wait."

I stopped. "Too much?"

"I'm gonna, if you keep doing that I'm going to last about four seconds and that's not, I don't want the first time to be—"

"Hey." I kissed his hip. Quick, casual. "That's okay. We have time."

"It's embarrassing."

"It's normal. You've never done this. Everything's going to feel intense." I sat back and put my hand on his knee, giving him space, because I remembered what the first time was like, when every touch feels like too much. The difference was that my first time involved a guy named Tyson from sophomore year who fumbled with a condom wrapper for three minutes and smelled like Axe body spray. Not a golden dragon who could accidentally set the room on fire. The stakes were a bit different. "Breathe."

He closed his eyes. I watched his face change, the gold pulling back from his eyes, the tension leaving his shoulders. That redirect thing he'd mentioned, whatever it was, I could see it working in real time. His breathing slowed.

"Okay," he said. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah."

I stood up. Took off my jeans, then my underwear, looking at him the whole time because I wanted to see what he'd do. His expression went blank. Then rebooted. Then went blank again. Like his brain just crashed and restarted twice.

"You're... you're beautiful, Emma" he said. And his voice cracked on the word.

I smiled. "Noted."

He pulled me onto the bed, onto my back, and this time he didn't hover. He kissed my mouth, my jaw, my neck, then went lower, and I could feel it in him, this determination, like he wanted to give me back what I'd given him. He kissed my collarbone, between my breasts, my stomach and the jut of my hip bone, and I was breathing hard and my hand was in his hair.

He stopped at my hips. Looked up at me. His face was doing the nervous thing, gold eyes wide, uncertain, and I laughed softly because it was endearing and terrifying and sweet all at once.

"You don't have to," I said.

"I want to. I just don't... I've never."

"I know."

"Tell me what you like."

I told him. Not like a textbook, just small things between breaths. Here. Softer. Yeah, like that. And he listened, God, he listened so well, adjusting before I could even tell him to, picking up on things I didn't say out loud, and I don't know if it was a dragon thing, some kind of heightened perception, or if he was just paying attention in a way that most guys don't bother with, but he found the right spot and my hips came off the bed and the sound I made was involuntary and real.

He kept going. And I was pulling his hair now, gripping the sheet with my other hand, my thighs tense against his shoulders, and I was close, too close, and I didn't want it to happen this way. Not the first time. I wanted him.

"Lucian, come here," I said. Pulled him up. Kissed him hard, my hands on his face, tasting myself on his mouth and not caring. "I want you."