Chapter 222 It was fate

Chapter 222 It was fate
LYS

The Ascendant ritual had been exactly like Hale told me it would be in the beginning. No knives.

He led me to this house, a stone edifice built just outside a creak that at the moment served as a calming white noise for me. He had been silent as he made me breakfast, pausing every other minute to curse and kick furniture.

And finally, we took a shower, sharing nothing but a chaste kiss under the running stream of water before he led me to this bed that felt like clouds. It was at that point he finally broke down in tears.

So far he had been mad, viciously mad but understandably so.

Ageir had pushed him awake the moment I crossed the boundary of the Hollywood mansion. He teleported out the mansion to block my path, took one look at my outfit and backpack and flew into a rage.

I still did not understand how I managed to convince him to do this for me, with me. Perhaps it was because I tried to do the opposite.

I was no longer asking him to help me, to make my death mean something. I only begged him to look away while I went to a short-leased house somewhere remote. A quiet place where I could wait for my fraying control to snap, tonight or the night after, and then slit my wrist.

Maybe that was what convinced him to help me after all. Because I was determined to do it with or without his help.

But he begged on this bed, one last attempt to get me to change my mind. Even if changing my mind was not the solution. We would only be delaying it, and then it would be worse, as not only would I die still, we would end up destroying the world because we were too selfish to do the right thing.

Just this once, I wanted to not be selfish.

And so I kissed him, but made sure he knew that even if he betrayed my trust, pulled me back to the dragon and told him all about my plans, I would still find a way to execute it.

I had never seen anyone cry so much as he placed the fine ruby necklace around my neck. His sobs were deep and wretched as he settled the large pendant over the crystal necklace I got from my soul mate last night.

The sound of him, the sight of that honest, good face weeping so painfully made my heart bleed.

And now, I could still hear him sobbing as he guarded the door like my knight.

Every time I heard a thud just outside, I flinched. The sound was unnatural, clashing with the serene echo of water running over rocks in the creak outside. The sound was wrong because they should not be fighting.

He should not have to fight the dragon like he was a monster, instead of my husband trying to get to me.

The first tear rolled down my cheek and the others followed more quickly, hot and heavy. This was not what I wanted. My consolation had been that they had finally made peace, and would all love each other, have one another in my absence.

A shadow fell over me at that moment, and I shifted my eyes because I could not turn my head.

The ruby had turned me back to the state they found me. A cripple.

“Finn,” I stared up at the man who stood stiffly, staring down at me like he had been struck by lightning. “"Please," I sobbed, "Please make them stop. Hale did not want to do this. This is not his fault.”

“Lys.” He gasped now, thawing at last. He crashed to his knees beside my bed, his eyes wide as he took my hand in his. "Lys, what have you done?"

“It’s fate. Tell Mordaine. He has to know this was how it had been destined to end the whole time.”

“Lys.” Finn's sobs were raspy, his head jerking around, restlessly searching for something, the source of my death, so he could stop it, unplug it.

"Listen please." My throat was clogged and my nose stuffy. I was terrified now. I could not go like this. The thought of them far-flung across from each other, passing the long years in loneliness because they were now enemies. It was worse than dying.

"Finn, please." I wished I could lift my hand, touch his face and turn his gaze back to me so he could listen. "Mordaine will become a monster."

His head jerked towards me, and he stilled.

"I remembered. Months ago I remembered why I chose death, over and over. Mordaine's punishment was more than my reincarnation loop. He would not have been able to save me. He would have only gotten desperate, and committed more monstrosities, and at that third strike, he would become a beast. It's the Firstborn law."

A god who compels the system to compensate shall lose her conflicting impulses.

Finn was gaping at me, his brows knotted in pained disbelief.

"He would be worse than Aionis. He would not remember you or Hale, or me. A bad beast. He'll be a terror, and I will die regardless." My voice was slowly fading, my energy dropping fast. "All this was not supposed to matter till we turned twenty-eight, but Ainois sped it up, he sped it up with your vampire-coven war."

Finn stumbled backward, collapsing to his heels.

"I tried," I sobbed now, "I did, but he had taken possession of you and Grandma's minds already. Every day that war dragged on, it became harder to resist a Seleied shift. Your war was affecting my city, my wolves."

In my dazed state, it no longer sounded as stupid as it used to. I was the goddess they prayed to like Mordiane said once, and Aionis had been clever enough to bet on it that I could not resist the death of my wolves much longer. I want to see what the Lunar Queen does under pressure.

"It was only a matter of days before I lost control and shifted to defend my packs," I hiccuped. "You heard Hale at that beach in Seoul. The Firstborns would have come for me, and you know how Mordaine would have reacted to that."

Finn's jaw was tight now, his eyes hard. "You should have told me. Gods, Lys. Mordaine found a..."

I coughed, and the smell of blood burned my lungs as Finn's eyes went round. Warm liquid ran down my nose, my lips.

No, this was wrong. Hale had told me how my end was supposed to come. No knives, no blood. There was not supposed to be blood.