Chapter 209 - Eye of the Tiger

Chapter 209 - Eye of the Tiger

LIRA

I saw Cassian when I could.

His days were consumed by the war. He spent hours in the council room, hunched over maps, issuing orders, consulting with generals. When he was not in a meeting he was patrolling with Taheer, making sure there was no threat. He slept little, ate less, and when we did manage to steal a few moments together, he was exhausted, his eyes shadowed, his voice hoarse.

"You are pushing yourself too hard," I told him one evening, finding him alone in his chambers.

He looked up from the documents spread across his desk, a tired smile crossing his face.

"I am the king," he said. "It is my job to push myself."

"It is your job to lead," I corrected. "Not to destroy yourself."

"Lira..." 

"You cannot fight a war if you collapse from exhaustion."

He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"I know. I know. But there is so much to do. So many decisions to make. And I cannot..." He stopped. "I cannot afford to make a mistake."

I crossed to him and took his hands.

"You will not make a mistake," I said. "You are a good king, Cassian. A wise king. You are doing everything you can."

"Am I?" His voice was raw. "Evander is out there, fighting. My soldiers are dying. Villages are burning. And I am here, safe behind these walls, giving orders I cannot carry out myself. I should be out there leading the charge." 

"Cassian..." 

"Sargon has been hitting us from every angle," he continued. "His army is five times the size of ours. We are stretched thin. We have lost two dragons already, badly wounded by those cursed spears. And the cannons..." He shook his head. "The cannons are devastating. We cannot get close enough to use our only advantage."

"What about the other dragons? The bonded ones?"

Cassian's jaw tightened.

"There are not enough. Taheer and I have ridden out a number of  times to control the situation, but we cannot be everywhere at once. And Norwyn is attacking everywhere at once. And I will not send Aveline into the heart of the enemy lines. I will not risk her."

"But she is bonded to a dragon. She can fight. She knows how to ride better than anyone else..." 

"She is my sister and the princess of this kingdom." 

"And she is also a dragon rider."

"Lira..." 

"You cannot protect everyone, Cassian." My voice was firm. "You cannot keep your family safe by keeping them locked away. Sometimes, the best way to protect someone is to let them fight."

He stared at me.

"Lira, you do not understand..." 

"I understand that we are losing this war because you are too afraid to use the resources you have. We have dragons, why can't we use them?" 

"Resources?"

"Bonded dragons. Riders. People who are willing to fight."

"Lira..." 

"I could also fight," I said. "I could ride out with you on Kael. I could..." 

"No."

The word was sharp, final.

"Cassian..." 

"No." He stood, his hands gripping the edge of the desk. "I will not let you anywhere near the battlefield. I will not let you put yourself in danger."

"Cassian..." 

"This is not negotiable." His voice was cold. "You are not going to fight. You are not going to ride out. You are going to stay here, where it is safe, where I can protect you."

I felt my own anger rise.

"You cannot protect me by keeping me locked away in my chambers all day." 

"I can try."

"Cassian..." 

"This conversation is over Lira."

He turned back to his documents.

I stood there for a long moment, my heart pounding, my hands shaking.

Then I left.

\---

I walked through the corridors in a daze.

The anger was still there, simmering beneath my skin. But beneath the anger was something else, a deep, gnawing fear that I could not shake.

He is going to get himself killed, I thought. He is going to ride out on Taheer and face Sargon all alone, and he might die. 

And I will be here, safe behind these walls, unable to do anything.

I returned to my chambers and collapsed onto the bed.

Luna was waiting for me, her silver eyes soft with concern.

'You are upset,' she said.

"I am angry."

'At Cassian?' 

"At Cassian. At myself. At all of it." I pressed my hands over my face. "He will not let me help. He will not let anyone help. He is going to destroy himself trying to protect everyone, and I cannot stop him."

'He loves you', Luna said. 'He is afraid of losing you.' 

"I know. But love should not be a cage."

'No,' she agreed. 'It should not.' 

\---

Felicity arrived to help me prepare for bed.

She was quiet and efficient, her movements practiced and gentle. But as she laid out my nightclothes, she paused, her brow furrowing.

"My lady," she said carefully, "I have noticed that the linens I left out for your monthly courses remain unused."

I blinked.

"What?"

"Your monthly courses," she repeated. "You usually..." 

"I know what you meant." I felt a chill run down my spine. "I have not... I have not had them yet."

Felicity's face was pale.

"My lady, are you certain? Perhaps you simply..." 

"I am certain." I pressed my hand to my stomach. "I am always regular. I have never been late before."

Felicity was silent for a long moment.

"Should I call for a physician?" she asked quietly.

"No." The word came out sharper than I intended. "No. There is no need. It is probably just the stress. Everything that has been happening."

"Of course, my lady."

She left.

\--------------------------

The knock came in the dead of night.

I woke with a start, my heart pounding, my hand instinctively reaching for the dagger I kept beneath my pillow. The fire had burned low, casting long shadows across the walls, and for a moment I did not know where I was.

Then I heard the voice.

"Lira. Wake up. It is urgent."

Princess Aveline.

I scrambled out of bed and crossed to the door, throwing it open. Aveline stood in the corridor, dressed in dark riding clothes, her hair pulled back from her face in a long braid. Her eyes were bright, her expression grim.

"Princess Aveline," I said. "What is happening?"

"Get dressed," she said. "Wear your riding clothes. We are going out."

"Going out where?"

"I will explain on the way. Hurry."

She did not wait for my response. She turned and disappeared into the shadows of the corridor, her footsteps echoing softly against the stone.

I stood there for a moment, my mind racing.

Riding clothes? Going out?

Where is she taking me?

But I did not question further.

I dressed quickly, leather breeches, a warm tunic, a heavy cloak. I laced my boots and grabbed a  dagger, tucking it into my belt.

Luna was waiting for me at the window, her silver eyes gleaming in the darkness.

'Where are we going?' she asked.

I don't  know, I thought. But I am about to find out.