"I made a promise a long time ago to myself. That I won't be intimate with someone till I'm married to him. For the sake of the child that I might bring to this world."
The King gaze was set on her.
Brown smoldering eyes.
They made her feel at ease.
Then she looked down at her knuckles that she was rubbing against the inside of her left palm.
"I want the child to have protection and love, and a marriage guarantees that. I don't want the child to end up not being wanted and loved... like me."
That was why nothing had happened between her and Lytio.
She was waiting.
That was a move she had no regret on.
But with the King, it felt different. The dreams she had of the Bride Thief weren't helping too. Why hadn't she thought about her long-standing rule in all those dreams? Why had she not thought about it when she woke up? Was he that powerful that he made logicality so far from her? Was his lure on her that strong?
It made her worried.
Made her want to tell the King about him even more.
"I understand and I respect your wishes." He adjusted his cloak over her. Her gaze was fixed on the red floor of carriage. She wasn't embarrassed by the rule she had lived by for most part of her adult life, she was just disappointed in herself that she had swayed. Even if it had been in something she believed was a dream. Even if it had been for those few moments.
She hated them all.
"Like I said before," a hand cupped her chin and she looked at him, picturing his face in her mind instead of the mask she was staring back at. "I will never force you to do something you don't want to do, Donna. I respect your decisions and I can wait."
Her name on his lips sent tingles across her skin.
"Thank you, your Maj-- Eli."
"Hmmm," he hummed. "All things are for good reasons. You know, I think because of how much you hold this rule to your heart, that was why you were able to fight against whatever advances the Bride Thief must have made towards you."
She gulped.
She would have just easily gone along with it, tell a lie but she was determined to break the chain.
Eli was good. He deserved to know the truth.
If she was in his shoes and she eventually found out about this secret that was being kept from him, she would be hurt.
He had showed her already that he was her safe space. So, why was she still hesitating?
"Was any of the past brides able to fight against him?"
"Many couldn't, but the one before you fought the hardest."
She squinted her eyes, trying to remember her name as she King's hand ran mindlessly over her hair.
"Moria." The King finally said and her heart clenched at how he had said it, like she held a dark memory to him. "We could tolerated each other. Not like the rest I had before her. Nothing more either, not like us. The Bride Thief had already been able to get into her head, I don't know how. She refused to tell me, and it went on for so long."
He sighed.
"One day, she slipped and I caught on the fact that the Bride Thief was still sneaking into her dreams. She told me she had not been listening to him but I knew that was impossible."
Belladonna frowned. Did he just say impossible?
"Kestra locked her in her Special room, with different repealing magics to keep the Bride Thief away. But after some days---" his voice trailed off, till he was speaking again. "I came back from a journey only to realize that she was gone."
"Gone?"
"Disappeared without a trace. She had suffered the same fate, just like every other bride before her. It is all the Bride Thief's doing."
That made Belladonna feel even more unsettled.
She remembered a lot about Moria, the writer of the book she had read, "How Not To Get Chosen", the Bride everyone thought would be the last.
"What about the ones that tried to kill you, Eli? What do you do to them?"
"I try to help them heal from the Bride Thief's mind manipulation. I put them in the same room, while Kestra performs more rituals, once they've gotten to that stage, it is always already too late. They start hurting themselves, calling me profanities, then they fall increasingly ill, till they one day, suddenly disappeared."
He leaned back into his seat, his gaze towards the ceiling of the carriage, his hand holding hers mindlessly.
"He steals them all, takes them away to somewhere I still haven't been able to find out yet. I search and search but I never find them. Sometimes I wonder--" he pulled his hand away from hers and curled them into fists on his thighs.
Her hand snaked up around her necklace, holding it tightly.
"I blame myself for their disappearance." His voice sounded heavy with grief, it made her heart ache.
She slipped her hand over his back in a gentle unsure pat, to console him.
There was nothing he could have done, the Bride Thief was entirely to be blamed.
"If only I had protected them more, if only they had told me from the very beginning."
Those words hit her, like a cold bucket of water washed over her.
"What if they had told you earlier, do you think they would have been saved?"
"Yes, I would have quickly put them in the room, Kestra would have started cleansing them of that evil creature's magic."
That was it. She would tell him now. Whatever evil magic in her that needed cleansing would be gotten rid of and she would be completely free from the Bride Thief's hold. He would no longer be able to mess with her dreams again.
She opened her mouth to speak but the King was saying something again.
"Once we put them in the room, they usually have a lot to say. Absurd things." He moved a little, taking her hand from his back and holding firmly to it, caressing her hand. "Words that I know are insignificant and take them as such."
"Why?"
The King turned to her, adjusting his cloak on her again.
"Because at that moment, their minds would already be under the control of the Bride Thief, even they wouldn't know it. Until they are free, whatever they are doing is what the Bride Thief wants them to do. I would be a fool to take a word out of their mouth seriously." He ended on an angry, bittered note. His voice filled with an unwavering belief.
She suddenly felt hot, her heart racing, her mind unsettled.
Was she being controlled right now?