Chapter 44 AMELYN'S WORRY
(AUREN)
“Auren, did you even hear a word of what I said?” Amelyn snaps when she notices that I've not been paying any attention to her. She's been in my chambers for the past thirty minutes and I haven't heard a single thing she said.
You can't blame me. I have a lot on my mind without adding her angry lectures to it. I woke up an hour ago and Imogen told me I had passed out in the archives. I knew something like this was going to happen any of these days.
“Auren!" She yells, sensing I have no intention of answering her. " Can't you see what I'm seeing? You're dying…”
"And you think I don't know that?” I bark, losing every bit of control I've been trying to hold onto ever since Lyra was stabbed. “You think I don't feel my energy draining? Or you think I'm not worried that I might pass out one day and not wake up again?"
“Then do something about it," she yells back. “You don't expect me to just sit back and watch you slowly fade away till you finally become a mad man roaming the continents or chained to the basement.”
“Well I can't sacrifice my wife either."
She sniffs and walks towards me. She takes my hand in hers and stares at me. It pains me to see the tears in her eyes. I promised father I'll look after her and make sure she's always happy. But it seems I'm doing just the opposite right now.
“There has to be another way," she tells me, her voice filled with desperation.
I pull my hand from hers gently, because if I don’t, I might break.
“I’ve looked,” I say, my voice quieter now, stripped of its edge. “Every scroll, every ritual, every half-forgotten legend. They all lead back to the same conclusion, a sacrifice of a human female.”
She shakes her head fiercely. “No. I refuse to believe that the only way to save you is to kill her.”
The word “kill” lands like a blade between my ribs.
I turn away from her and pace the room, my steps uneven. The familiar burn coils in my chest, a reminder that my time is slipping through my fingers whether I like it or not.
I don't have much time left in this world and if I keep exerting myself like this, I'll burn out before I know it.
“Haven didn’t choose this,” I say. “She was dragged into a war that started long before she was born. I won’t be the one to kill her by draining her life for mine.”
Amelyn steps in front of me, forcing me to stop. “You’re not thinking clearly.”
“No,” I snap back, then sigh. “I’m thinking too clearly.”
I rake a hand through my hair and let out a slow breath. Images flash through my mind; Haven standing in the chapel at Drakorath, defiant and terrified all at once. The way my dragon answered and submitted to her without hesitation.
“She’s different,” I say quietly. “You felt it too. She's not just my mate, but she's the key to restoring balance in this continent. Her life can't be used as a bargaining tool. “
Amelyn’s expression falters, doubt creeping in. “Different doesn’t mean invincible.”
“I know.” I meet her gaze. “That’s why I won’t bind her to a ritual that guarantees her death.”
Silence stretches between us, thick and heavy. Then she exhales shakily. “So what do we do? Just wait? Watch you burn from the inside till you finally go crazy?”
Her voice cracks at the end and she blinks back threatening tears. I don't think twice before pulling her into my arms. I can understand her pain more than she thinks. After losing my twin at birth, I'd kill to protect the only family I had left.
It's not just because of the promise I made to my father, but because of the love I have for my sister.
“I can't lose you, Auren," she whispers into my chest. “We're the last of our lineage. You don't expect me to just sit around and watch you fade away to nothing."
“No,” I tell her, gently pulling away to stare at her. “You won’t lose me, Amy. We will find another way.”
She scoffs. “You just said…”
“I said the old ways lead to the same ending,” I interrupt. “But that still doesn't stop me from trying. And besides, Haven is learning well and will one day restore the realm to order. I can't let anything happen to her.” I leave out the fact that I'm obsessed with her so much that I'd rather die than put her in danger.
Amelyn studies me, searching my face like she’s trying to decide whether I’m being foolish or brave. She's always loved reading people.
“You’re putting a lot of faith in her,” she says softly.
“I know,” I reply. “And that is because she deserves it. She's trying her best and you know it.”
I look toward the door, toward the corridor that leads to Haven’s chambers. I can feel her presence faintly, like a distant ember calling to my fire.
“But if there’s even a chance that she can break the curse without losing herself…” I swallow. “Then I’ll endure this pain for as long as I have to.”
Amelyn’s shoulders slump. Some of the fight drains out of her.
“You’ve always been stubborn,” she murmurs. “Father would’ve hated that.”
A weak smile tugs at my lips. “He taught me well.”
She steps forward and pulls me into a brief, tight embrace. “Just don’t die on me,” she whispers. “I already lost one king.”
I close my eyes for a moment. “I’m not planning to.” I raise my hand and ruffle her hair. “I still have to walk you down the aisle and knock Imogen's teeth out if he hurts you. "
She lets out a soft genuine laugh. " I'll see you later. I have dinner with princess Steph– Mara “
As soon as she leaves the room, the fire in my chest flares sharply, causing a searing pain that steals my breath, and I know time is not on my side.
The pain comes again, harder this time and a cough slices through my chest. The metallic taste of blood fills my mouth and I hurry to the bathroom to spit it out into the sink.
Haven needs to learn fast.
Because whatever path she’s about to walk…I may not be there to see her walk it through.
The shift cost me a lot of power and exhausted Rhaegar. I'll have to find a temporary solution to this before it gets out of hand.
Another wave of cough has me on my knees and my chest burning like it's been set on fire.
“Auren!"