Chapter 89 Under a personality
Alessandro's POV
I love you, Sandro
The exact same words that made me freeze.
How could she love me?
I was not good for her at all.
This wasn't supposed to happen.
The worst part was that I wanted to say it back.
It was at the tip of my tongue but somehow, it refused to come out.
Maybe because I thought she just said it because she was getting all dick'd up. If that was a term.
"Alessandro." Madison called out to me, fear evident in her voice.
Why was she scared of me?
'Maybe because you ghosted her whole existence since she told you she loved you?' My brain reminded me.
Well.
I didn't know how to react that wouldn't look too harsh.
Hell, I was fucking dumbfounded.
It took all the willpower in me not to call Nikolai to send a private jet to come pick me up.
But I wasn't a coward.
I wasn't going to run.
Maybe after I show her... She'll leave. She'll stop loving me.
If at all she loves me.
Those were all I thought and stuck with it.
"We're here." I nodded forward, driving into the compound.
Dread pooled at the pit of my stomach as my eyes connected with the building.
Her hand rested on mine, squeezing lightly. My breath calmed instantly. I turned to face her, our eyes locking for a while.
"You don't have to show me, if you're not so comfortable." She said, her tone calm.
My jaw ticked. I snatched my hands from her, opening the door first for myself and then turning around to open hers.
"Bring in our things." I said to one of my guard who stood to receive us.
She slipped her hand into mine, holding tight. The warmth from her palm, sent calm chills down my body.
My racing heart began to drop it's rate, slowly.
It can't be that bad.
That thought went flying out of the window when we entered into the house and my eyes met with the portrait of my parents.
My body stiffened.
"Where's this?" Her voice snapped me out of my thought.
I wanted to drag her out and run away.
This house brought back lots of memories.
"My house." I said dryly, peeling my hands away from hers, missing her warmth immediately.
It was the only thing putting me together and somehow I let it go.
"Oh. Another one?" Her eyes scanned the building, her legs carrying her to the shelf where all our family pictures were on full display.
"Family house. The one I grew up in." I explained, pouring myself a glass of whiskey.
"That means it's old?" She looked over her shoulder at me for a few seconds before picking up a picture.
"Roughly 10 years. I only asked them to clean it because we were coming."
She nodded, her whole attention on the pictures.
"Is this your mum?" She smiled at me, pointing at a picture of my mother and I. I was holding her hair while she giggled, trying to get her hair out of hand.
My jaw ticked as I looked at the picture.
"Oh. Sorry." She turned to drop the picture, tucking her hand into her sweatshirt pocket.
"You should get changed and come down. We have a lot to talk about." I told her, downing the content of the glass.
She nodded, walking to the stairs and then suddenly stopping. She turned to me, scratching the back of her neck.
"I ... I don't know the way."
Foolish me.
"True." Corking the drink, I led her upstairs. "We'll be sleeping in the guest room. The other rooms - just bathe here."
She nodded in understanding, not asking me any question at all. I appreciated that.
"I promise, you'll understand in few minutes, Madison." I told her calmly, placing a soft kiss on her forehead before leaving.
Her lips lifted up in a genuine smile for the first time today. "Okay. Take your time."
Gosh. This woman.
I rushed downstairs to prepare us something to eat. I had asked the guards to do grocery shopping for us. One that'd last us three nights before we go back.
•~•
"Hmmm! This is fucking good." Madison moaned, covering her mouth as she chewed.
"Good to know I haven't lost my touch." Chuckling, I poured myself another glass of whiskey.
I really needed all the alcohol in my system to tell her what I wanted to tell her.
"I swear, I can't remember the last time I tasted something this nice." She licked her lips, taking a forkful of pasta.
"Now you're flattering me." I rolled my eyes at her playfully.
"Where did you even learn to cook like this? You should be jailed for being perfect. You can't be hot and still know how to cook. It's a fucking crime." She shook her head at me, still munching on her pasta.
"I'm not perfect." My voice was low as I looked into my glass, twirling the drink.
"I... You - nobody's perfect." She shrugged. "You're not perfect but you're...close."
"I'm not close. I am just ...broken. A broken child hidden under a personality." My jaw clenched as I stared at her, my glare hard.
"Aren't we all broken?" She tried to joke, smiling softly at me, ignoring the glare.
Sighing, I stood up walking out of the dinning. Not without my drink, of course.
I heard her mutter "Still Bipolar."
Good to know she still thought of me that way.
Standing in front of the pool, I watched how calm and still the water was. It was an exact opposite of how I was feeling.
I dropped the bottle on the floor, removing my shirt and pants until I was left in only my brief.
The cool breeze hit me, blowing in a little energy and confidence in me. Then I heard her footsteps.
"Woah! That's some tattoo at your back. How have I never seen it this clearly?" She spoke, admiration evident in her voice.
"Madison." I called to her, my tone serious. "You said you love me."
I heard her breath hitch.
Maybe she didn't mean it?
Was she going to take it back now?
"I did."
Now it was my turn to breathe heavily. "Well..." My head moved to the side a bit. "I don't - I can't love you, Madison."
She didn't say anything. Her footsteps grew closer and closer until her hand were on my back.
"Why?"