Chapter 136. FIONA

Chapter 136. FIONA
“Hey, this is my fiancé.”
“Mommy, no, no. Don't touch my Daddy.”
“But this is my fiancé.”
I hugged Joshua's waist, and Melissa pushed my shoulders away from her Daddy.
This is annoying.
This little missy had been getting more and more annoying since her tantrum this afternoon. She ignored me. When Joshua came home, she was so clingy to him. She would only eat if he fed her. She was so spoiled. She asked Joshua to carry her, and she curled up on his chest like a koala.
God, what kind of mother am I to be jealous of her daughter?
But yes, I am jealous of her.
“Are you jealous of your own daughter?” Joshua asked skeptically.
“No. She’s been clinging to you all this time and won’t let me touch her.”
“That’s your fault, Fiona. You let a three-year-old cry for hours just because of crayons and colored pencils?”
I chased after Joshua as he walked to the balcony. Melissa nuzzled her head into his chest, feeling triumphant over me.
“I don’t want her to scribble on your walls with crayons and colored pencils. She’s only three, after all. She doesn’t need that yet.”
“I don’t mind if she scribbles on the walls. It’s just a wall, after all. Roberto can paint over it again. But Melissa is in her golden age. She needs to experiment to hone her motor skills.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Okay, smartass. You’ve only read one chapter of a child development book, and you think you’re so much better than me, huh?”
“Actually, I’ve read five chapters. That’s why I bought her so many educational toys. I want her to grow up to be a smart girl. A mobster’s daughter should be the smartest in her class.”
Wow, this was our first fight about the kids. I thought we'd have more fights about Melissa later. Maybe we'd have another fight when we decided which school was best for her next year.
"Josh, I don't want you to spoil her too much. Look, her room is full of stuff she doesn't really need."
"I just want to make my daughter happy. Is that wrong?"
"Of course not. But she's become spoiled and childish. She's never been this angry with me after a tantrum. By treating her like this, she feels like you're justifying her actions."
"She's just a child. It's normal for her to be spoiled and childish."
"Daddy... Mommy's mad at me."
"No, darling. You're safe with me. Don't mind your mommy."
Argghhh!
I felt like I wanted to explode and curse at the top of my lungs. That little girl had never acted like that to me before. She'd always been a good girl. She'd never been hostile to me for hours just because I stopped her from doing something she wanted.
"Still fighting with Melissa?"
"What do you think?"
I plopped down on the sofa hard, then grabbed the cushion next to Erick. I squeezed it to calm my anger.
“Is she your daughter?”
“And? Melissa was never like that before. It’s because Joshua spoiled her too much. She felt she was right, and I was wrong.”
“She’s only three. Do you think she’ll think as complexly as you?”
“I know her. I’ve lived with her longer than you or Joshua.”
“Now you’re acting your age. You’re being childish.”
“Yeah, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
I hit Erick on the head with the cushion. He was just as annoying as Joshua. Everyone in this house defended Melissa more than me. Joshua blamed me, and now Erick was doing the same.
Erick groaned in pain and snatched the cushion from my hand before I could hit him again.
“Everyone blames me.”
“Because you were wrong.”
“Tell me where I went wrong, you smartass.”
“Isn’t it obvious? You let a three-year-old cry for hours. Her face was red, and her eyes were puffy when we got home. She couldn’t even speak because she was gasping for breath. What kind of mother are you, Fiona?”
“Don’t even try to comment on my parenting style if you don’t know anything,” I growled.
“That’s my way of raising her so she doesn’t become a spoiled brat. It used to never be a problem. Now she’s spoiled and childish because you all spoil her.”
“She’s three and you’re twenty-five. Grow up, Fiona. I understand your way of disciplining her, but you have to remember that she’s just a child. Don’t be too hard on her. Besides, Joshua was just doing what a father should do.”
“What? Are you normalizing Joshua’s wasteful behavior?”
“I’ve been with Joshua longer than you. What he spent today on Melissa is nothing compared to what he did in the past. You don’t need to ask how Joshua used to spend his money.”
“I can guess without you telling me,” I scoffed.
“Good. You should be doing something more useful than getting angry at a three-year-old.”
"That's it. It's your words that upset me. I told you I wasn't angry with her for no reason. I just wanted to discipline her."
"Yeah, whatever you say."
Erick grabbed the remote and started changing channels because the soccer match he was watching had just ended. He must have been annoyed that I disturbed him while he was watching. But who cared? I was even more upset because everyone in the house sided with Melissa. No one understood how I felt.
“Hey, are you on your period? You’re so sensitive today.”
I threw a cushion at Erick before heading to my bedroom.
No, that’s Joshua’s bedroom. I don’t have a bedroom in this house!
Dammit. Even Melissa has her own.
I was getting sick of this injustice.
Joshua slowly closed his bedroom door and walked over to me, who was curled up on the sofa. I had already decided that I wouldn’t sleep in his bed. I would sleep on the sofa like I always did four years ago.
“She asked why you’ve been so grumpy all day.”
Ha, the father of the day arrived.
I pretended to be asleep as Joshua towered over me.
“I know you haven’t slept, Fiona. Your nostrils are flaring.”
“Of course, my nostrils flare. That's what breathing is, you idiot.”
I couldn't pretend to be asleep. This anger was too much for me. I was ready to duel him if he messed with me.
"Don't say that again. That was so rude," Joshua said coldly.
I chuckled scornfully.
"Since when does a mobster get offended by rude words? I'm sure you curse and swear far more than I do."
"Fiona, what's wrong with you? You've never been like this before. Melissa is even afraid of you. She asked about you before bed. She's afraid of you because you're so fierce."
"I've always been like this, and she's never complained about it before. You should support me as I try to discipline her so she doesn't grow up to be a spoiled brat. I know you have a lot of money. You can buy anything you want with the blink of an eye."
"Fiona, I told you it's not about money. I'm just trying to do what I can as her father. I missed out on three years with her. I just want to make up for those lost years."
“But that doesn’t mean you have to shower her with gifts and make her into a spoiled brat,” I snapped.
“This conversation isn’t going anywhere. You’re at the peak of your temper.”
“Hey, you’re a coward if you just leave this hanging with your stupid fucking excuse.”
“We’re not talking tonight.”
Joshua stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.
Fuck!
Fuck him!
I ran my hands through my hair in frustration.
Tears threatened to spill from my eyes.
This is what I fear about relationships. This isn’t going to work. We’re never going to make it any further than this.
It had only been two days. I couldn't imagine what the days ahead would bring.
Problems kept coming, not just from within our relationship, but from everywhere. One day, he might come home with a ton of problems, full of emotions and anger. I couldn't bear it.
I can’t handle this.
“I think I was too hasty in saying yes when you proposed to me yesterday. We’re never going to make it work.”
I took off the diamond ring on my finger and placed it on the nightstand.
I strode out of his disgusting room. I was going back to New Atlantic. I didn't belong here. I didn't belong in his life.
Joshua slammed the door shut as I was about to step out. He looked furious. All his attempts to remain calm were shattered in an instant.
“I asked you, what’s wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong? Isn’t it obvious? We’re not right for each other. I’m backing out.”
“I don’t understand what’s gotten into you, Fiona. You suddenly get angry over such a trivial matter.”
“That’s it. That’s what I wanted to tell you,” I poked his chest with the tip of my index finger.
“We barely managed to resolve this trivial matter, so what do you expect for the future, huh? The road is so steep and winding. I’m not ready for that. I’m not ready to be your wife. I never will be.”
“It’s just a momentary emotion.”
“No, it’s not.”
Tears flowed freely down my cheeks. I couldn’t hold them back any longer.
“I can’t do it, Josh. Please, don’t force me. I’ve been your wife once, and I failed. I don’t want to try again. I don’t want to fail a second time.”
I sobbed like a child. This time I let Joshua see my tears and my weakness.
He grabbed my hand that was still on his chest and pulled me into his arms.
"You don't have to handle anything. Let me handle it. I just want you by my side."
"I can't."
“You can do it. You just have to believe in yourself.”
He lingered on the top of my head. His palms rested on my back, pressing me tightly against him. His skin felt warm against my cheek. I closed my eyes, trying to absorb the comfort and serenity.
“I’m tired, Josh.”
“I bet you are. You need to rest.”
Before I could say anything, Joshua picked me up and carried me to bed. He didn’t say anything else. His lips were tightly pursed, but I could see his jaw tighten. He was angry, but he was trying to calm the beast inside him so it wouldn’t rage and cause more damage.
Joshua gently laid me on the bed, then spread the blanket over me.
He went out, leaving me alone in the bedroom to cry.