Standing Tall

I reached out and grabbed my purse, snatching it from Noah's hand with more force than I had intended.

“Thank you. Have a safe trip,” I told Noah with a weak smile, then slammed the door in his face.

“Rebecca!” my mother gasped in horror. “Please tell me that you didn’t spend the night with that man!”

I whirled on her. There was a sound of disgust in her voice, as if Noah was gross to her just because he wasn’t as prim and polished as the men she would have picked out for me. I knew the type of men she would want me with... I had seen them. If Mother had her way, I would be buttering up to Keith, and THAT was disgusting. How dare she look down her nose on a man like Noah?! I had absolutely had it with my mother and her shallow-minded ways.

“So what if I did?! I’m an adult now, MOTHER. I can make my own decisions! And just so you know, Noah has been nothing but a true, kind, sweet, caring gentleman! Which is much more than I can say for Keith! That drunken as-asshole…” I stumbled over the curse word unused to using it to describe anyone. “would have raped me last night. If it wasn’t for my friends AND Noah, I would have been violated. Is that what you wanted?”

Ingram reeled back for a moment. I wasn’t sure if it had to do with my tone, the cursing, or the knowledge that Keith wasn’t the man she thought he was. But I thought for a moment that I might have FINALLY gotten my point across to that woman. Ingram turned away from me and took a few deep breaths. This was my chance! I thought. I could race upstairs and get away from this conversation, and I might finally be the victor in one of our arguments.

“Rebecca… you have no idea what you are doing,” Ingram finally said softly. “I know you want to prove that you are adult enough to make your decisions. But you don’t know what is best for your future. It’s hard struggling out in this world without the safety of a good husband.”

There was something in her voice that tugged at me. A sense of sadness, fear? I wasn’t sure which, but it really did bother me.

“Mother,” I started softly. “I know you are worried about my future. But I know what I’m doing. I… I love Noah, and I want to be with him. Everything else will just sort itself out along the way.”

My mother’s back stiffened suddenly, and she turned back to me. Her eyes flashed with anger. It wiped out any other sign of whatever emotions she had been feeling was wiped away as if it had never been there.

“You LOVE him? You don’t even know what love is! Do you honestly think he is going to want you in his life? He’s a grown man, and you’re just a silly girl! Now that he has gotten what he wanted, he’s not going to come back, Rebecca. He is through with you!” Ingram berated.

I gasped and put my hand over my heart that was suddenly twisting painfully. Mother's words echoed the worries and thoughts I had been trying not to give life to. I felt her attack and her betrayal deeper than I had ever known was possible. For a moment, I had thought that we had an understanding, a belief in my future. But now that the words were out there, I couldn’t stop thinking of them.

Was Noah done with me? He hadn’t seemed like he was. But what if he was just playing games that I was too inexperienced to understand? I had no true past relationships to fall back on. I felt ill-prepared for the questions my mother was posing to me, and it made me feel off balance. Mother noticed the pain in my face and almost seemed to regret what she said. She reached for me, but I was in too much pain to allow her to touch me.

“Leave me alone,” I snarled at her. “You think you can push your cold, money-hungry life off on me. You’ve been trying all my life. But I won’t do it! Do you understand? I will not be like you! So, leave me alone!”

Before my mother could say anything else, I raced up the stairs to my room and slammed the door. I threw my purse on the bed and stomped my foot several times, trying to release the raging anger inside me. How dare my mother try to twist something beautiful into something ugly and shallow! I was furious, and if she had dared to come into my room right then, I probably would slap her rude, ill-mannered mouth. I stomped over to the window and looked down at Noah’s backyard. I knew he wasn’t there and probably wouldn’t be back for a while. But it was almost a comfort to know his things were right there. It was a promise that he would be back in the future.

I let last night play through my head and allowed the joy and pleasure to burn away the anger and pain of my fight with my mother.

No, she had to be wrong. There was nothing that Noah had said or done that had given any indication that he was only interested in a one-night stand. He wanted me to start my journal again, and he wanted pictures! No, Ingram was wrong about Noah. I was sure about that!

I calmed down, and once again felt the same giddy joy that had blossomed upon waking in Noah’s bed. I wanted to scream from the rooftops how wonderful and beautiful the night before had been. However, I knew that would be insane and probably just start another fight with my mother. I was in no hurry to lose this happy feeling.

Still… there was one person I could tell how happy I was.

I jumped onto my bed and grabbed my phone out of my clutch. In seconds, I was listening to the ringing and silently begging Molly to answer.

“Becca!” Molly gasped into the phone. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to call?! Your mom called me at least a hundred times! What is going on?!”

“Oh my god, Molly! I spent the night with Noah!” I blurted out without any preamble.

There was a gasp, then pure silence on the other end, and I had to look to make sure she hadn’t hung up on me.

“I’ll be there in ten minutes. TELL ME EVERYTHING!” Molly squealed.

Molly hung up before I could warn her about my mother’s attitude towards everything. I worried that when they met up downstairs, Ingram and Molly might exchange some words. But I suddenly realized that I no longer cared what my mother thought about anything. She had been wrong about so much, and it was time for me to start acting on my own opinions and instincts. I didn’t want to end up as cynical and greedy as she was. This was the beginning of me forming my own path.

Just the thought made me excited for the future. I jumped off the bed and hurried to get a shower before Molly showed up.