Chapter 30 up
Clark sat slumped on the living room sofa, a half-empty bottle of whiskey dangling from his hand, staring blankly at the floor bathed in dim lamplight. The steady sound of rain striking the windows filled the apartment with a monotonous rhythm, echoing the heavy beat of his heart. No phone rang, no messages arrived, no one watched—except the shadow of himself, silently mocking, as if reminding him of every mistake he had made.
He set the bottle down on the table, lifted it again, and took a long, burning sip. The whiskey scorched his throat, but it barely dulled the emptiness inside. He closed his eyes, trying desperately to push Nyla from his mind—but her face wouldn’t leave him. Her calm smile, the determined steps she had taken away from him, the look in her eyes the last time he had seen her… all of it hit harder than any liquor could.
“You’re broken because of yourself,” he muttered, almost inaudibly. “Not because of her, not because of Vincent… but because I was too stupid to see her first.”
Silence filled the apartment, punctuated only by the relentless drizzle outside. Clark tilted the bottle again, savoring the bitter taste, a flavor that mirrored the guilt he swallowed along with it. He felt hollow—no purpose, no hope, only a growing void, heavier with each passing day.
Then the door slammed open. Selena stormed in, her steps hurried, her face flushed with anger and jealousy. Her gaze immediately landed on the bottle in Clark’s hand.
“Clark! What are you doing?!” she shouted, the sound slicing through the heavy quiet like glass breaking.
Clark turned slowly, eyes red and swollen, but vacant. “Drinking,” he said, his voice flat, almost disinterested. No remorse, no other emotion—just the wound that had been festering inside him for months.
Selena stepped closer, gesturing at the bottle with trembling fingers. “You can’t keep doing this! Drinking will only destroy you more!”
Clark’s gaze met hers, weighed down by exhaustion. “Destroy me? I’m already destroyed, Selena. And you only just noticed?” His voice cracked, bitterness and sorrow tangled together. “I don’t even have the strength to live this life anymore.”
Selena’s eyes narrowed, fury and disappointment intertwining. “You’re letting yourself drown in alcohol just because Nyla rejected you? Because of Vincent… because of me?” She stepped closer, her eyes piercing his. “Is that your reason? Do you want to ruin yourself?”
Clark placed the bottle back on the table, staring blankly at the floor. “I don’t care anymore,” he said quietly. “Everything I do feels meaningless. Everything I once wanted… is gone. And I was too blind to appreciate what I had—or to realize what I was losing.”
Slamming her hand against the table, Selena’s voice broke, a mix of anger and frustration. “Listen to me, Clark! You can’t keep torturing yourself like this! You’re destroying yourself, and you make me furious because I can’t stop you! You have to stop. Right now!”
Clark’s eyes stayed locked on hers, empty yet defiant. “Why should I care about you now?” he murmured, voice barely audible. “Everything I do… means nothing. No one cares about me.”
Selena froze, disbelief etched across her face. “What do you mean, ‘no one cares about you’? I’m here! I’m right here! I’m waiting for you! I want to help you, but you reject me and… and torture yourself!” Her voice quivered, all the restrained emotions of weeks spilling over. “Don’t you see that you’re destroying yourself right in front of me?”
Clark turned toward the window. The heavy rain hammered the glass, droplets hitting the floor in a relentless, suffocating rhythm. His chest tightened, and his hands trembled. “I just want to forget… want to forget everything that went wrong. I want to forget Nyla, but I can’t. And you… you only make me feel guilty for not being able to stop missing her.”
Selena exhaled, her gaze softening for a moment. “This won’t solve anything,” she said gently, though her voice still carried anger. “Drinking will only destroy you more. You have to face your pain… not drown it.”
Clark looked at her, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. “I’m too late,” he whispered. “I was too late to realize what Nyla did for me. Too late to appreciate the woman who waited patiently for me… and now I’ve lost her forever.”
Selena sank into the chair across from him, still looking at him with a mix of anger and concern. “Clark… you can’t keep blaming yourself endlessly. You still have me, you still have a chance… we can fix this.”
Clark closed his eyes, hands clutching his head. “No, Selena. You don’t understand. I lost something that can never be replaced. And you… you’re not Nyla. You never will be. I can feel comfortable with you, but I can’t love you the same way. I just… can’t.”
Selena’s face paled, silence falling between them. Anger, disappointment, jealousy, sorrow—every emotion twisted together in her eyes. She hadn’t expected him to speak so plainly, so brutally. All her tears, all her manipulation, none of it could sway a heart that already belonged to someone else.
The rain outside intensified, wind howling, tapping violently against the windows. Clark remained frozen, staring out into the storm, letting tears fall freely. His body trembled under the weight of emotions he could not contain—regret for being too late to appreciate Nyla, too late to stop Selena before she hurt him, too late to understand that love cannot be forced with anger or alcohol.
Selena lowered her head, sitting on the floor, hugging her knees. All her schemes, all her tears, all her attempts to make him depend on her—now meaningless. She realized that no matter what she did, Clark’s heart had already been claimed by Nyla. And that left her powerless.
Outside, the rain fell in torrents, as though the heavens themselves mourned the irreparable losses within that small, dimly lit apartment.