43| Life-1

┏━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━┓ Life ┗━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━┛ Chapter 43: Life (Dante's POV) Have you ever wondered what death feels like? Not knowing if I was alive or dead, if I was even breathing anymore… I was certain this was it. I couldn't remember a moment in my life when the pain and misery were so strong that I couldn't beat them, but that was until I took that bullet and watched Anastasia suffer more than I did. I was the one bleeding out, it should have been me in a world of pain… then how come she was hurting? It wasn't an impulsive reaction, it wasn't a thoughtless move. I took that bullet for her, knowing how lethal it was for me. I took that bullet for her, knowing it could kill me, and I was fucking ready for it. I was ready to die for her. I would rather that bullet have killed me than watch her break down the way she did as she held me in her arms. At some point, despite still being unconscious, I'd realized I was very much fucking alive, and I wasn't dangling between the realms of life and death. This wasn't the fucking afterlife. I was breathing and conscious. I slowly returned to my senses. The hearing came first. The steady beeps came from the hospital machinery, soft whispers around me, and the doctors and nurses discussing my surgery. I had no idea how long I'd been knocked out, and I had no memory of anything after I lost consciousness in front of the gallery. I didn't know how I was brought to the hospital, who was with me… or who saved me. It took several attempts for me to finally open my eyes despite them constantly fluttering shut under the blinding fluorescent lights. The beeps from the heart rate monitor grew louder, and that was when I felt her touch. Squinting my eyes open, I looked at where Anastasia's hand lay over mine and where she rested her head at the edge of my hospital bed, facing me while she had dozed off. I stayed utterly still for the next several minutes, conscious of my breathing, of every little tremor in my body so I wouldn't alert or awaken her. All I did was watch her. Her hair was half-heartedly pulled back into a braid, which I was certain Amara or Rose had done for her. She had changed out of the dress stained in my blood and wore jeans and a full-sleeve t-shirt instead. Her skin looked paler than usual without its natural flush, and pure exhaustion was written all over her. Cautiously, I retreated my hand from beneath hers and, with trembling fingers, reached forward to brush her hair behind her ear from where it had fallen over her eyes. That tiny action was enough to startle her awake. Her eyes snapped open, desperately seeking mine as she jumped upright. A beat passed of her simply staring at me with a mixture of shock and relief in her eyes. "You're awake," she whispered. I took her free hand in mine again as I cleared my throat. My mouth and throat felt dry, and my tongue wouldn't unstick from the roof of my mouth until I forced myself to swallow and talk despite the roughness in my voice. "How long was I out?" I asked. "A little while," she answered, "about twelve hours." I glanced at the window where sunlight streamed in from. It was the next afternoon… She stood up swiftly, her chair screeching back. "Let me call the doctor," she rushed out. My fingers tightened around her hand as she took the first step away from me. "In a little while," I said. "Dante-" "I just want you to myself for a few minutes before everybody swarms in, Mia Cara. That's all I ask. Please?" Relenting, she sat back down, a heavy sigh escaping her lips. Her head fell forward, resting beside my legs. "Thank god you're awake," she whispered quietly. My thumb naturally stroked the back of her hand as I watched her clinging to me, trying to be as gentle as she could, careful of the IV drip in my arm. "I had a dream while I was out," I told her, softly taking her chin between my fingers. "A dream?" she asked quietly. "Mm-hmm," I nodded once, "we were getting married." Finally, she cracked a smile. A small laugh escaped her as she watched me in disbelief. "Were we?" I nodded again. "That was my last thought… before my heart stopped," I whispered, running the pad of my thumb across her cheek. "What was?" she asked softly. I blinked, staring back at her. "I was wishing I'd married you before I died." Her breath hitched at my words. "I would die a happy man, Anastasia," I added. She sat in silence, holding my gaze despite how her eyes glossed over, and a single tear betrayed her false composure, sliding down her cheek. I wiped it away. "We have all the time in the world," she cleared her throat, "you have your whole life to marry me." "You are my whole life," I replied, "I'd marry you in a heartbeat." Another minute passed, and then she couldn't take it anymore. One tear after another streamed down her face as she lowered her head, almost in shame, her shoulders shaking softly while she held my hand to her lips. "I'm so sorry," she mumbled to me, "I couldn't save you. I couldn't even get you the help you needed. Maybe if I'd called them sooner, you wouldn't have lost so much blood. It was my fault, Dante, and I'm so fucking sorry." I stayed quiet, listening to her, watching her cry. "If I'd just listened to you… I shouldn't have gone after him. I shouldn't have drawn you out there. He wanted to hurt me, but you're the one who almost lost his life. I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry." I waited for a minute as she tried to recollect herself, to steady her breaths. "Baby," I said softly, "I took that bullet for you knowing what it would do to me. Trust me, I'd gladly do it again if I had to. I was happy to take that bullet for you, do you understand?" Confused, she shook her head and asked, "How can you say that? How could you be so okay giving up your life for somebody, Dante?" "Wouldn't you do it for me?" She replied almost immediately, "Of course I would. In fact, I would rather it be me right now." "Then why is it so hard for you to believe that someone would do the same for you?" She threw her head back, sighing heavily. "Anastasia," I called out. She looked at me, defeated. "I would rather die than lose you," I told her, "I didn't think twice before jumping in front of you to take that bullet. Better me than you."