Avrora
"Have more tea, dear. It will help." Ehlga taps the back of my hand.
She gives me a warm smile, but the worry in her eyes gives her away.
She looks just as worried about Anatoli as I am and seems to be doing her best to not just calm me down, but herself too.
Across the table between us are the cups of chamomile tea and coffee we've had. Only God knows how much we've drunk between us since before the sun rose.
We switched out the tea for coffee about an hour ago.
I was already in the kitchen, sitting here at the breakfast table when she came downstairs. I couldn't sleep after Anatoli left.
I assumed he must have contacted Ehlga at some point because she knew he'd left the house on business before I told her.
"I think I'll pass, Ehlga."
Her shoulders slump. "Then I should make you something to eat. It's breakfast time now."
"No, I'm not hungry. I'm just worried." I've never seen Anatoli leave the house with a gun.
I'd only seen the gun once before, when he pulled it on Mikhail. I don't even know if it was the same gun, but it frightened me. It's silly because this is the world I live in. I grew up seeing my father with guns, and knowing what he did with them, as well as what could happen to him. Sometimes my father would get shot. He's sustained several injuries and been in the hospital more times than I can count.
It's the darkness of the mafia.
Anatoli has been gone for hours. That can't be a good thing. I keep imagining someone calling us with news that the worst has happened.
"Try not to worry." Ehlga nods.
"You're worried, too."
She gives me a light chuckle, and her tension eases from her expression. "I always worry, and I'm used to him being away like this. You'd think I'd be less of a worrier by now."
"I don't think it's something you can get used to."
"You're right. I usually try to feel comfort in knowing that Anatoli knows how to take care of himself."
I believe her. "Yes, I think of him that way, too."
"It's nice knowing you guys are okay."
"Yeah." I'd told her we made up, but I kind of think she knew that part already. Her room is on the other side of the house, but when we returned from the party last night we were already tearing at each other's clothes, and not quietly. People would definitely have heard us. "Thanks again for encouraging me to go to the party and talk to him."
Her smile widens. "You don't have to thank me for that. Honestly. I just gave you a little push. You did the rest. Knowing him, I'm sure he already missed you."
"You think so?"
"I know so. I'm sure he knew you missed him, too."
"God, what am I going to be like when he goes back to sea?" I'm smiling and I sound like I'll be fine, but I don't think I will be.
"I think we'll be just like this, you and me. Then we'll hopefully get used to him being gone."
"Does he go away for so long because he has to?"
"I'm sure his work is integral to the company, but I think he genuinely loves living at sea. There's something about it that feels like home to him. I think it's because he's never really fit in anywhere, but he can make himself fit there. For most of his life, he's gone by one name or another, he couldn't be part of his family, and he wasn't really mine. At sea, he's just Anatoli."
"I understand." I remember what he was like when we were in the Caribbean. It was magical to watch him and I felt like I was in another world, living a different life.
"He's never had a wife before. That might change things."
"I hope it does." I can't imagine being away from him for months. Look at me now; I'm a mess. And I'm sure Gytha would try her best to get her hands on him.
The sound of the front door opening has us both turning our heads.
I'm the first to get up and run through the door, rushing out to the hallway to find out if Anatoli is home and if he's okay.
It's him, and he looks as okay as he did when he left.
I keep running right into his arms, only relaxing when he holds me.
"I was so worried." The words just fly out of my mouth, straight from my heart.
He holds me close, but I can tell something is wrong.
"I'm okay." He gives me a kiss.
We pull apart, but he still keeps his grip on me. Ehlga walks into the hallway and smiles.
"I'm glad you're okay, too," she says.
He looks at Ehlga with worried eyes, and I'm even more certain that something else is going on.
"Can you call Scarfoni Inc. and let them know I'll be away for the next few days? Just get my secretary to rearrange everything."
"Of course." Ehlga dips her head and leaves us, but there's a tremor in her step.
I turn back to Anatoli and take in the tension clenching his jaw.
"Anatoli, what's going on?"
"Come, we have to talk about some important things. And I have something to show you."
"Okay." I search his eyes, looking past the worry, and I see fear. Since I've known him, he's been a force to reckon with. I didn't even know he could be afraid.
"Come."