Avrora
"I don't think that's what brought you out here though, is it? Ehlga said she heard you screaming like you were having a nightmare. Another one."
"I didn't know she was awake." Or that she could hear me. God, that's so embarrassing.
"She's up sometimes at this hour, baking."
"Oh."
"You're still having the same nightmares?"
I nod. "They don't stop. I have the same one over and over again."
"With the crest?"
"Yes." I bite the inside of my lip.
His shoulders relax and he looks like he's considering something, but I don't know what. We haven't spoken about my nightmares or the crest in weeks. I thought he'd brushed it off, even if he believed me.
"I spoke to your father about the crest, and I looked into it."
A rake of shivers climbs up my spine, and my jaw loosens. There's no way he would have spoken to my father or looked into anything if he didn't think it was important. Or suspect something.
"Did you find anything out?"
"No. And your father said he didn't know the Butyrskayas. He thinks you must have seen something similar to the crest here."
When I sigh and look away, he guides my face back to his.
"I still believe you." He nods.
"But it's just my word."
"It's enough."
"Thank you for believing me. What do you think it all means, Anatoli? You wouldn't have asked him about the crest if there was no meaning. Please tell me." I can see there's more on his mind, but he's holding back. Like always.
"Maybe we shouldn't talk about this now. You're already distressed."
My nerve endings spike, pushing me to try and get him to tell me what he knows. "If you know something, please tell me. I've been like this for nearly ten years. Everyone has told me not to worry about my nightmares because they aren't real, but I know my mind is trying to tell me something. Something that will help me remember things I shouldn't have forgotten. Please."
Although he keeps his gaze on me, I can practically see his mind working.
Working and churning through his thoughts. Everything he's allowed me to know has been carefully thought out and microscopically calculated. Whether it's him or Ehlga telling me. Nothing has been divulged to me simply because it's fair for me to know.
I wouldn't even dare ask him what Mikhail meant about his father taking out the trash when he spoke about Anatoli's mother. He knew I heard, and he hasn't said anything. Granted, the opportunity hasn't come up, and I don't think it will unless I broach it. This is different because we've already spoken about it. And we're talking about it now.
He presses his lips together and releases a breath. Hope fills me when he looks like he's going to tell me.
"That particular crest is special," he breathes. "But your father doesn't seem to know that. In fact, I'm sure he doesn't. So you are not to make him any wiser. I mean it. You have to keep that secret, Avrora."
The lump in my throat grows bigger, and my body feels numb like it does after I've woken up from my nightmares. "I promise I won't say anything. What makes the crest special?"
"You don't have to worry about that part. What's odd is, you shouldn't have been at wherever it was you saw the crest. And not during the time period you're talking about."
"Oh God." I bring my hand up to my head and breathe deeper past my shallow breaths.
"This has to do with your father, and it can't be anything good."
"Do you believe he didn't know the Butyrskayas?"
"No, I don't. Even though I can't find anything that links him to them. Everything he said checks out. But my gut tells me different."
Oh, Dad. What did you do? What more did you do?"I think something really bad happened to me. If so, I don't know why my parents wouldn't tell me. They told me about the car accident, and that was horrific."
"Maybe whatever happened was something worse. Or something else."
Knowing my dad, it's both.
I think of the email from the lawyers about the vineyard, and my stomach knots. I don't know what arrangements are being made now that I'm marrying Anatoli, but I don't want my father owning the vineyard anymore. That vineyard is the last untainted thing in our family, and its care lies with me.
"I inherited a vineyard from my grandfather. I was told it was his pride. He owned Galitze Developments and other businesses, but that vineyard was his everything. I was going to give it to my father and Mikhail to take care of because they had plans. I don't want to do that anymore. I'm sure you won't either. I got an email from the lawyers today asking me to get in touch, but I can't deal with it."
He brushes over my cheek with his thumb. "I'll deal with the lawyers. And we'll talk more about things like the vineyard after the wedding. Okay?"
"Okay."
"Good. Now, enough of this business talk." He kisses me, and it feels like he's trying to distract me.
It works, and I kiss him back.
After a few moments, he moves away and smiles, the seduction in his eyes luring me to get lost in him. "It's one a. m. Avrora. Do you remember what we were doing yesterday at this time?"
I don't know if I'll ever forget. "Yes."
He lowers his face to my neck and places a line of kisses over my skin. At the same time, he undoes the strings holding my bikini top together and takes it off. My bikini bottoms come off next, leaving me as naked as he is.
My bare nipples brush over his chest, hardening on impact when he pulls me closer. Then he grabs my ass, lifting me so I can wrap my legs around him.
My body erupts with pleasure the moment his cock pushes into my passage. He slides against my walls, his cock filling the void that previously left me empty and wanting.
He groans into my ear, muttering words in Russian I can barely make out because he feels so damn good inside me.
Then, slowly, he moves in and out of me, stretching me again and going deeper with every thrust.
"Ah... oh..." I breathe out, holding on to his shoulders when he speeds up. "Anatoli."
"That's right, baby girl. It's me. Always me."
Pinning me against the wall, he angles me so he can fuck me harder and faster.
His body pounds into mine and I savor the sounds of us, our bodies smashing together against the water. Like everything about him, he overwhelms me with consuming fire.
Thrusting harder and rougher until it's painful, he takes me over the edge. My body shudders, unable to stop the ravenous dose of raw pleasure he's giving me.
"Valkyrie," he growls, his voice sexy and strained as he climaxes.
Anatoli hammers into me one last time, and twinkling stars erupt before my eyes when I come. My skin sizzles like it might burst into flames and my mind scrambles.
I cling to him, feeling the rapid fiery beat of his heart pounding against mine. Then I find myself choosing again.
This time to be the fool who wants him, instead of the worrier.
It hurts less.
I don't think I can go back to what I was.
Even if this-whatever we are-destroys my heart.