Avrora
"Doesn't quite seem like you to keep quiet, baby girl."
Baby girl and Valkyrie. I just realized something. He seems to call me baby girl when he thinks I'm weak and Valkyrie when I show some defiance.
Both endearments feel like he's mocking me because I don't want to be anything to him.
"You don't know me."
"I know you were trying to get in here to find something." The lightheartedness fades from his expression and it's like he slips on the evil mask again. "Now, enough talk about Gytha and your lame attempts to change the subject. Tell me what you were looking for."
Damn it. We're back to that again, and I never got to really bitch at him about the doctor. The whole Gytha thing didn't bother me nearly as much as the doctor did.
Now what should I say?
What excuse can I find for breaking in?
I think for a moment while he stares at me for what feels like eons.
Maybe the truth is the only option. All I'm asking about is a crest.
"When Ehlga was showing me around, I saw a crest on the cliff. It's also in the house. She told me it belonged to the family who used to live here." I try to keep my voice steady but it doesn't help that his face hardens.
"That's correct. What about it?"
"I've seen it before. When I was little."
His gaze intensifies. "Where?"
"I don't know. I'm... missing memories." I don't know if he knows that part of my background so I decide to give him some context. "I had an accident when I was nine that left me with permanent memory loss. I can't remember anything before that."
"Nothing at all?"
"No."
"Then how do you know you saw the crest when you were little?"
"I see it in my nightmares now."I'm surprised by how easily I said that to someone I don't know.
"Nightmares?" He looks at me with disbelief.
"Yes. It's a recurring nightmare I've had since my accident. Until I came here I didn't think anything from it was real but then I saw the crest."
"Is the cliff or the house in your dreams?"
"No. I was somewhere else. The crest was carved into something dark. I've always thought it could be a door, but I don't know."
"What else is in this nightmare?"
Although he's asking questions, he doesn't look like he believes me. I'm sure he won't and will just think I'm crazy the moment I tell him about the rest of the dream.
"Well?" His brows lift impatiently.
"It starts with me standing by a wall singing some kind of a nursery rhyme. Then I'm running through a meadow and everything gets dark, like when night comes down. And... " My voice trails off. This is the hard part.
"And what?"
I stifle a groan. "Monsters that look like shadows come out of the dark."
He chuckles, just like I thought he would. "Monsters?"
"I know it sounds crazy."
"It's fine to dream about monsters, believing they're real is another story."
I roll my eyes at him and frown. "I didn't say they were real, but it feels like something happened to me."
"What do the monsters do?"
My heart quickens again. "Kill me."
"Have you ever told your father about this nightmare of yours?"
"Yes, millions of times but he just thinks it's a regular nightmare."
He inclines his head. "Look, maybe it is just a regular nightmare. I also don't think you would have seen that crest anywhere in the circles you travel in. Maybe you're connecting it to something similar but not the same."
"What do you mean, the circles I travel in? They're the same circles you travel in. Maybe my parents knew the Butyrskayas. They all worked for the Knights."
"Maybe so, but I can't imagine Pavel Butyrskaya being associated with the likes of your father."
Of course not. How dare I forget my father is the scum of the earth in Anatoli Scarfoni's eyes?
"What if he was associated with him?" Maybe now's a good time to ask again if I can talk to Dad. "Would you allow me to call my father and ask him about it."
"No."
"But-"
"No." His voice is harsher and just as hard as the cold expression tainting the beauty in his face.
From the shift in his demeanor, I realize I probably shouldn't have talked about Dad so much, or at all. Not if I hoped to save myself from whatever punishment Anatoli has in store for me.
At the same time I'm not going to allow him to make me think I'm mistaken about the crest.
"Regardless of the circles I'm in, I know I've seen that crest somewhere."
"Fine, believe what you want."
I will, because I'm right. "Does this particular crest have a meaning?"
"Maybe." His expression deepens but I know his lame answer is his way of shutting me down.
"Maybe?" I arch my brows. "That sounds like you know something and you're refusing to tell me."
"Valkyrie, I think you need to remember who you're talking to. Also, none of that explains why you wanted to break into my office."
"I told you I didn't know this was your office."
"What did you think it was?"
"A storage room. Ehlga said you kept some of the Butyrskayas' things." I don't think Ehlga would mind me telling him that. I doubt she'd say anything I couldn't repeat to him. "I was hoping to find a photo album, or something like that with a picture of somewhere that might have the crest on it. Or maybe jog my memory by looking at their things."
He considers me for a moment as if weighing his words, then pulls in a slow breath. "There were no photo albums or anything like that when I got the place. Knowing them they would have kept everything of sentimental value close to them. I wouldn't know where those ended up. I also doubt seeing their things would help you."
"Why?"
"Because you're looking at some of their stuff now and it doesn't seem to be doing much for you. This office belonged to Pavel Butyrskaya. It's pretty much in the state he left it."
On hearing that, I glance around the room, suddenly understanding why the office is more suited to an older gentleman who most likely loved exploring.
Oh, damn it.