Avrora
I stare at the rustic red brick wall before me, tapping the bricks with my fingertips to that song in my head.
Run and catch, the meadow's calling you home...
I tap one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
On the eighth count I blink, then I'm running through the meadow. A bird flies high in the sky, and the sun is bright and warm on my skin, tempting me to chase it. I run toward the sun but it disappears, and blackness swallows me whole.
It's so dark, I dare not breathe. I'm too scared that I'll disappear. But I walk on the unseen path before me, terror ravaging my soul.
Darkness fills my mind like a thick fog of smoke, suffocating me with the
ominous feeling of imminent doom.
Patches of light flicker in the darkness, and I see it-the crest with the wolf and the moon engraved into it.
I try to get closer, but shadow monsters rush out of the darkness, howling and gnashing their teeth like evil souls trapped in the pits of hell.
Faceless faces push out of the darkness and a million screams wrap around me.
Blood pours from the sky. And a knife plunges into my throat, stabbing me again and again and again.
I scream, jumping out of the hellish nightmare, right into Ehlga's grasp.
She grabs my shoulders, steadying me as if anchoring my mind to this world.
"You're okay dear, you were just dreaming." Her voice is gentle and soothing, but it doesn't stop the terror from pumping through my blood.
I fasten my eyes to hers until the hellish images of shadow monsters fade from my mind.
When my breathing calms, Ehlga releases me and grabs a glass of water from the nightstand.
"Here, drink this."
She hands me the glass and I take a few sips, savoring the water's cool temperature soothing the dryness in my throat.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. Are you okay?"
Am I? No. Apart from everything that's happening, seeing that crest has jarred me and I don't know what to do.
"I just feel silly for screaming." I decide to lie because it's easier.
"Don't. We've all had bad nightmares." She gives me a sympathetic smile and takes the glass, then her eyes brighten. "Your friend Lorelai is here."
My spirits soar on hearing that, but I suck in a sharp breath as I glance at the clock and see it's past ten-thirty.
Shit. I overslept. I was supposed to be up hours ago.
I called Lorelai last night to arrange this visit and planned to get myself together before she arrived. Our time is limited as it is because I have to go to the stupid doctor in less than two hours.
Ehlga stands and continues to give me her sympathetic smile. "I'll leave you to get ready. I've prepared breakfast in the garden for the two of you."
I feel more at ease hearing we can go into the garden. It means we'll have some privacy to talk. "Thank you."
"No worries. See you downstairs."
She leaves and I jump out of the bed to get ready. I can't wait to see Lorelai.
Seeing my best friend will be like a safe haven for my soul and a refuge from this horror my father has pushed me in.
"My God, Avrora, it feels like I haven't seen you in years." Lorelai hugs me hard and I savor the safety I feel in her warm embrace.
"I'm so happy to see you." Because my phone is chipped, I couldn't say much to her last night. Seeing her face to face now means I can really talk to her.
"You too." She holds me tighter, like she knows how badly I'm trying to keep myself together and stop the pieces of my mind from falling apart.
If anyone knows how I feel, it's her. She knows me inside out and we've been friends for so long we think of ourselves as sisters. Since the only sibling she has is her older brother, Leo, and I'm an only child, that works perfectly. We met in our junior year at Raventhorn Academy. Although that was years after my accident, my mind was still fragile and unstable. Like it is now.
When we pull apart, we sit opposite each other on the wicker chairs Ehlga set out. Between us is a table with a delicious spread of pastries and homemade bread.
It looks like a feast to die for, but all I want to do is talk to Lorelai.
"He hasn't hurt you has he?" Worry fills Lorelai's eyes and she speaks in a hushed tone, glancing over her shoulder to check no one is listening.
"No, I'm not hurt." Unless I factor in the blow my pride and dignity took when Anatoli tore off my wedding dress and stripped me naked.
"Tell me what's happening." She rests her hands on the table between us. "I'm sure Anatoli knew you'd tell me something."
She's right. Even though he never gave me the full rundown, I'm sure he knew that by allowing me to see my friends, I'd have to tell them something. He also knew I wouldn't tell anyone anything I wasn't comfortable sharing. Like the things about Dad.
"I can tell you but please don't say anything to anyone."
"Avrora, come on." She frowns and places a hand to her heart. "You know your secrets are completely safe with me."
"I know. It's just that the stuff I have to tell you is quite bad and I need you to promise me you won't even tell your family." Her father is one of the Pakhan's brigadiers and her brother is on the enforcement team. I'm putting myself at risk by even breathing the mere words I've said but I'll go crazy if I don't talk to someone I trust.
"I swear on my life I won't tell a soul. Okay?"
"Okay." I take a moment to think, then I tell her everything. All that I know.
"Jesus, Avrora. That is crazy." Her face pales like the time she nearly got expelled from school for smoking pot in the locker room. "Do you have any idea what your father could have done to Anatoli?"
"No. And I don't think he's going to tell me. Or he would have by now."
Her shoulders sag. "And he seriously won't allow you to speak to your father?"
"No. I don't even want to find out what will happen if I try to make contact with Dad." Things are bad enough as it is, so I'm going to play it safe.
"How are you feeling about your father?" She issues me with the same I'm-here-for-you stare she gives me every time I've had problems with Dad.
I inhale the fresh air wrapping around us like a blanket, allowing it to soak into my lungs and loosen the tension. Normally I can open up and talk freely about how I feel. Today I don't know how to answer her question without breaking down.