LOVER OR STRANGER?.
I stilled, my fingers pausing in Leila’s hair, my body tense and the silence between us has tension in it.
“What about Ben?” I asked, my voice cautious and guarded.
“He took pictures and videos of me,” Leila whispered, her voice barely audible. “In...in compromising positions. I was young and foolish and I trusted him. I do not know why I did it, but I am so ashamed.”
My hand moved away from her hair, a hint of betrayal in my expression. “Why are you only telling me this now?”
Leila turned away from me, her face flushed with shame. “I ...I did not want you think less of me. I did not want you to know that part of my last. But with everything that has been happening, I am so afraid that he is going to use them against me. Against us.”
My voice was icy. “So you thought it was better to keep secrets from me? That does not sound like a partnership , Leila.”
“I know..I...I am sorry.” Leila’s eyes filled with tears. “I ...just... i did not want to disappoint you.”
My anger grew, my voice rising. “Disappoint me? Leila I have stood by you, I have taken every word that came out of your moth, defended you and this whole time you were keeping secrets from me? How can I trust you?”
Leila shook her head, desperation in her voice. “I did not mean to hurt you. I love you Alexander. But I did not know how to tell you. I was so afraid ... it’s my dirty secret and I was not comfortable sharing it...then.”
“Afraid of what?” I snapped. “That I would see you differently? That I would not you anymore?”
Leila’s tears ran down her cheeks, her voice shaking as she spoke. “Yes, that is exactly it. I did not want to lose you. Not after everything we have been through.”
“Everything we have been through?” I scoffed. “You mean the marriage of convenience we entered into to get revenge on Ben? A marriage built on lies and secrets?”
Leila’s face went pale. “I thought we had become ...we had become more than that,”she said quietly.
“More than what?” I spat. “You can not have your cake and eat it too, Leila. You can not expect anything from me in this marriage especially not one built on lies.”
Leila shook her head as she opened her mouth to speak. “Alexander, I made a mistake. I am human, but ...I love you. Can you not see that? Can you not love me?”
“Forgive you?” My words were cold and mean. “How can I Forgive you when I do not even know who you really are? You lied to me from the start.”
“I...I...I just wanted to protect you. To protect us..our marriage.” Leila mumbled.
“Protect is?” I laughed bitterly. “From what? The truth? Your truth? The truth about you?
Leila reached for my hand, her fingers trembling. “I am sorry, Okay? I am sorry I lied. But I love you Alexander. Please believe me, please do not give up on us. I love you.”
I pulled my hand away, my eyes blazing with hurt and rage. “Love? Is that what you call this? This tangled web of lies and deception? You say you love me, but I do not even know if you are capable of love Leila.”
Leila’s hand dropped to her side, and a drop of tear fell from her eyes. “I can not change the past Alexander.”
I rose from the bed, my movements sharp as abrupt. “No you can not. But you an own up to your mistakes. You can stop lying, you can start telling the truth and stop keeping secrets .”
Leila moved back, she opened her mouth to speak and her voice was trembling. “I am telling the truth, Alexander. I love you. I swear to you, I love you with all my heart. Please do not leave me.”
I paused at the bedroom door, my back to Leila. “You do not get to decide that Leila. You lost that right when you lied to me.”
A sob escaped Leila’s mouth. “Please Alexander, we can fix this. We can start over again, please.”
“Start over?” My voice was a harsh whisper. “How can we start over when everything we have had so far was built on lies and secrets?”
“It was not all lies Alexander. There was something... there was something real between us.”
“Real?” I scoffed. “How can I trust anything that came from your lips when you lied about so much?
I turned and faced her. “You want me to trust you Leila? You really want me to trust you after this?”
Leila walked towards me, her arms reaching out to me. “I know I made mistakes, but I learned from them. I have changed Alexander, please...please just give me a chance to prove it to you.”
My jaw clenched, my eyes blazing with rage. “A chance? I already have you a chance, Leila. I let you into my world, into my life. I trusted you and what did you do? You threw it all way with your lies.”
“Please , Alexander. I love you. I love you more than anything. More than anything.” Leila pleaded with me, her voice desperate.
“Stop saying that! Stop saying that for Christ’s sake! I do not love you Leila. I can not fall in love with a lady who has no dignity whatsoever. You are doing as you deem fit and you did not think of telling me any of this. Just now when you feel your lover has the upper hand do you want to drag me into this!” I snapped at her.
“Please Alexander... please do not hurt me more by saying these words...I agree I made a mistake but...Please Alexander...one more chance...”Leila pleas echoed through the room. I stood motionless despite the anger brewing inside of me.
And then the sound of someone ringing the doorbell was heard.
“Who is it?”