Chapter40
Your Own Little Bee
Dash’s POV
“You look surprised,” I said to Zinnie.
“I am. I never thought you’d get a tattoo.”
“I never thought I would, either. Knew you wanted to get one after Melitta was born, so I asked around and there was one name that kept coming up as the best artist around, bar none. So I went to his studio to buy you a gift certificate, he mentioned his wait list, and I said you could get on his books when I gave you the certificate but the wait wouldn’t be a problem because you were going to be nursing Melitta for a while.”
“I already called and booked an appointment. He was very clear that he’d only tattoo me on my
arms, neck or ankles.”
“He told me he was cutting down on women as clients. Don’t know why, but I asked him if he’d
fucked up with his wife or girlfriend, too.”
She looked surprised, and that was because Zinnie knew I wasn’t one to open up to strangers.
“That too got us talking about our stories, and somewhere along the way, an idea started forming for a tattoo for myself. Talked it over with him, and he told me to come back after hours the next night, and he worked on it for two hours. I had two more sessions with him, the last one on a Saturday during the day when he had a cancellation in the afternoon.”
“It’s beautiful,” she said, her eyes taking in every detail. “The artistry is incredible.”
It was a continuous, fine–line drawing of Zinnie’s face in silhouette, her hand in front of her, the index finger crooked. On the tip of that finger was a honeybee, a little larger than normal, in fine detail. Zinnie’s hair was blowing behind her, the long curls gradually turning into a cluster of zinnias, with more honeybees hovering around the flowers.
“Bas is excellent. I gave him a general idea of what I wanted, showed him your picture and he took it from there. He’ll do a good job when you get your tattoo done.”
“It’ll be something to look forward to when I stop nursing Melitta.” She paused a minute. “Thank you for staying last night, Dash. You made everything a lot easier.”
Chanter40
40.40%
“Good. That was my goal. I’ll stay any night you’ll let me.”
“But you’re back at work and you have a two–hour, roundtrip commute every day. You need your
sleep.”
“Zinnie, you know I don’t need much sleep. You’re working all day, too, but all the night shifts are falling on you. I’m happy to spend the night whenever you want, and I wish you’d let me so I can give you a break.”
She opened her mouth, snapped it shut for some reason and nodded.
“Let’s compromise because whether you think so or not, you do need sleep, Dash. You can sleep here on Friday and Saturday nights, and then Tuesday nights.”
“Deal,” I said before she could think twice about it and take back her offer.
“Thank you,” she said. “And I was thinking the three of us could go for a walk after I get ready. If
you want to.”
“After you get ready and after you eat something, Zin, I’d love to go for a walk,” I said. “I even have a destination in mind. Let me go make you some avocado toast and cut up some strawberries
while you get ready.
“I just need to be home by ten. Juniper’s coming over to make cookies.”
“Do you have what you need to make them?”
“I do.”
“Good, it’s only eight, so we’ll get you back here in plenty of time. And while we walk, you can fill me in on Juniper and cookies and anything else.”
“There’s a lot of anything else to cover today,” she said.
I wasn’t sure what that meant, but her voice didn’t sound ominous.
Half an hour later, I was pushing the stroller and listening as Zinnie gave me the backstory on Juniper and how she was hoping to fill in a bit for the girl’s absent mother.
“So I thought I’d make some cookies with her because I always wanted to with my mother.”
“It’ll be good for both of you,” I told her. Healing, I hoped.
40.40%
“Dash,” she said, stopping, putting her hand on mine, “I’m sorry I stopped you from protecting me from my family after we got married. You tried to but I hamstrung you.”
“I understand why you did it. Didn’t like it, but I understood.”
We began walking again.
“I never wanted to cause waves, never wanted to be difficult. And I had a lifetime of conditioning as to why it was easier to not cause waves. If I did, Mom made sure I regretted it. Giving in became easier, and I knew if I let you step in, it’d come back to me when you weren’t around. So…”
“The path of least resistance,” I finished for her.
“But it hurt us and hurt our marriage. I’ve been thinking a lot about our marriage since I came here. I want us to do better. Communicate honestly, even if it hurts. I want to be better, to be stronger as a mother, as a wife.”
It was my turn to stop.
“Zin, I think without your family wreaking havoc in our lives, we’ll do much better together.”
“I do, too. And, had it not been for me, they would have been out of our lives much sooner because you would have made it happen. But that would have been wrong, too. I can see that now. It would have been wrong because I should have had the guts to stand up to them and tell them to get lost and not look to you to be strong for me.”
“You figured it out. And once you did, you told them to fuck off. You found your strength, Zinnie, and that was really difficult to do.”
“But they still tried to come back, and then you had to deal with them.”
“Because they were used to you giving in if they applied pressure. I just provided backup this last time, and between the two of us, they got the message.”
“A united front,” she mused.
“Like we always should have been,” I said. “We were both culpable. I could have pushed back harder when you told me to ignore whatever your family said.”
“That’s taking too much on yourself,” she said. “But talking about this and recognizing where we fell apart will help us not repeat the mistakes we made.‘
Chapter40
40.40%
“I want that more than anything, Zin.‘
We walked in silence for a minute.
“Do you know Aggie doesn’t think we’re a lost cause?” Zinnie said abruptly. “She said it’s not woo–woo shit, but she can tell when a couple is done. She told me we weren’t done.”
“And what’d you say to that?”
“I told her that I’d already come to that conclusion,” she said slowly. “I told you that your worst sin wasn’t what you said about Iris, but that the so–called joke made me feel unseen. But you’ve been showing me that you do see me, Dash, and that what I want matters to you.”
“You matter, Zin. What you want matters.”
“You matter, too, Dash.” She looked up at the house we stopped in front of. “Why are we at Mist’s? She and Izan left last night after the blessing to go to a friend’s wedding.”
“Well, I realized you rely on others to get around the commune. So I asked Izan to find a safe, reliable electric golf cart for you. He did and he made some modifications to it so you have your own little bee to buzz around in now.”
We walked around the side of their house and Zinnie’s cart was there, just as he’d told me it would be when he’d called the previous night to tell me it was done.
It was painted yellow with two black stripes on the front, and on the driver’s side below the seat
was a small charm of bees.
“Your very own hive–brid cart,” I teased her.
Zinnie began laughing, then she hugged me.
“Thank you,” she said. “This is so thoughtful.”
I see you, Zinnie.
I think we’re seeing each other.
Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.