Careless With My Words
Zinnie’s POV
The old wisdom says not to ask a question you don’t want the answer to, and that’s how I was feeling when I asked Dash what happened when Iris spent the night after I left him. I was shaky inside and out, not wanting my worst fears confirmed but needing to know.
The other thing that was bothering me was if it was a pointless question. Would I believe his answer if he said nothing had happened? Could I believe his answer?
“The short answer is nothing happened, Zin,” he said, and I felt as if he’d read my mind. “The longer answer is nothing happened but here’s exactly how it went down.”
“Let’s hear it,” I said with all the bravado I wasn’t feeling.
“I was on the computer, trying to find any emails you might have sent someone, looking through your search history for some places you might have looked up, trying to think of any place you might have mentioned, looking through the credit and debit card transactions for any clues. I kept calling your mother to ask about things I’d found, if they rang any bells or if she’d thought of anything in the ten minutes since I’d last called her. I was desperate to find you, Zinnie. All I could think about was if you were OK, if you and the baby were safe, if you were in danger, how you were feeling. My mind was going crazy, and you were all I could focus on.”
“Mmhm.”
“Then I heard the front door being unlocked around midnight and I thought it was you, Zin. I practically flew into the other room and can’t even tell you how disappointed I was when I saw it was your sister. She said she used the key you gave to your mother to let herself in.”
“Sure.”
“I get you don’t believe me, but it’s the truth.”
“I used to believe everything you said, Dash, and I want to believe you, but…it’s hard to.”
“Because you’ve lost your faith in me. I understand, and we’ll see how you’re feeling after I tell you what happened that night. I told your sister to leave and then went back into the office to keep hunting for you, trying to find some clue as to where you could have been. I thought she’d left the
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house, but she came into the office about half an hour later. And I could have gotten into it with her and forced her out of the house, but I chose the path of least resistance and just ignored her.”
“Iris doesn’t let people ignore her,” I reminded him.
“She’s nothing more than noise to me, Zinnie, just like your mother is, and that’s why when your mother called your sister and Iris put her on speakerphone, I tuned that out, too. They started discussing baby names, but I wasn’t paying attention because I was focused on finding you. They could brainstorm all the names they wanted, and I didn’t care what they were coming up with
since you and I would be deciding the baby’s name. I could have wasted my time trying to get
them to stop talking about names, or I could have used my time productively looking for you. I chose to look for you.”
“And you let her spend the night.”
“She left the office after she and your mother ended the call, and I stayed in the office, trying to
find you. When I left the office to go up to bed around four in the morning, I saw she hadn’t left but had fallen asleep on the couch. I was exhausted, Zinnie, and I had to be at work in less than three hours, so once again, I said fuck it, I just want to go to bed and decided not to take the time to wake Iris up and fight with her about leaving. I went to our room, locked the door and fell
asleep.”
“She didn’t try to sneak into the bedroom, causing you to take the path of least resistance with
her?”
“No. Absolutely not. I went to bed alone, crashed hard for a couple of hours and woke up alone, Zinnie. When I walked out of the bedroom to go to work, Iris was in the kitchen starting to make
breakfast. I told her to leave, and I left for the hospital. That’s what happened.”
Somehow, I believed Dash.
Maybe I shouldn’t have, but I believed his story. Did that make me stupid? Time would tell.
The path of least resistance he mentioned rang true, and I also knew that during the three years of
our marriage, I had helped cultivate that attitude.
Please don’t argue with my mom if she says anything today, Dash. It’s not worth it.
Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.