I’d been so focused on Zinnie, I didn’t notice the three other women in the room at first.
“We’ll give you some time,” the middle–aged woman said. “But we’ll be right outside the door if you need us.”
“Thanks, Sunny,” my wife said.
The two older women walked past me without a word or glance, but the youngest one narrowed
her eyes at me.
“Choose your words wisely,” she said, and it wasn’t advice but a threat.
When the door closed behind them, I walked right up to Zinnie and went into doctor mode so I
wouldn’t give in to my anger.
“Are you OK, Zin?” I reached down to kiss her lips, but she turned her head away from me so fast I
ended up kissing her hair.
“I’m fine.”
“Is the baby OK?”
“Yes, she’s perfect.”
“Have you both been examined by anyone who actually knows what they’re doing?” I bit out.
That might have been giving in to my anger, but I knew what could go wrong during a delivery
and my wife had kept me away.
“As a matter of fact, yes. The midwives.”
I swallowed down my retort to that.
There was a lot we needed to address, but it could wait a minute.
“She’s beautiful, Zin. Can I hold her?”
Something flashed across her face, and it chilled me.
“If you try to take her and run, I promise the women outside my door won’t let that happen.”
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My heart pounded at her words, and I was crushed by what she was accusing me of.
“Do you actually think I’d try to take our baby from you?”
“I wouldn’t put anything past you, Dash.”
If she’d stabbed a knife into me, that couldn’t have hurt more than what she’d just said. Zinnie
had torn into me on the phone call, but this was getting even worse by the second.
“Please, Zin. I had nothing to do with your mother and sister’s visit and what they said. It was all
on them.”
“But the way you’ve been treating me since the day of the gender reveal certainly encouraged
them to think whatever they said was OK. I’m not even sure why you’re all trying to get me to
come back home. With me and your unwanted baby out of the way, you and Iris can be together like you clearly want to be.”
“I do not want to be with Iris,” I said, practically grinding my molars into dust.
“Right. That’s why she spent the night with you and has been consoling you since I left.”
“She didn’t spend the night with me — not like you’re implying.”
Zinnie rolled her eyes at me. “Maybe you should just stop talking. Do you want to hold Melitta?”
I could not fucking keep up with my wife.
“Melitta?”
“Our baby girl.”
“You named her?” Anger seeping through.
“Her name is Melitta Agnes.”
“You named her without me?”
The
anger was definitely coming out again.
“Absolutely. While you were tossing around names with my mother and sister, I was working on my own names. And since I was the only one carrying her all these months and the only one who was excited about a girl, it was my prerogative to name her.‘
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“You’ve completely cut me out of the last month of your pregnancy. You didn’t let me see our baby come into the world and now you’ve named her without me? I can’t believe you did that,
Zin.”
“Why don’t you run home and cry to Iris and my mother about it? I’m sure they’ll commiserate with you, give you the sympathy you think you deserve instead of looking at yourself and seeing
that all I’ve done is in direct response to your actions and behavior toward me.”
“I deserved to be here for her birth. I was right down the road, and you knew it. And I could have helped if something had gone wrong.”
“Being with your wife as she gives birth is a privilege, not a right, Dash. Had you been someone I trusted, had you been a safe place for me, had you been a source of comfort for me, you would
have been right beside me as Melitta was born. But you are none of those things for me now.‘
“So you let a bunch of strangers in here with you?”
“Let me tell you something. In one month, those strangers have been more of a family to me than
I’ve ever experienced in my life. They feel like I used to feel with you.”
If Zinnie was trying to kill me with her words, she was succeeding, and I drew in several deep breaths to calm myself. I couldn’t even begin to process everything my wife had just said to me, so I focused on the reason she’d called me here. To meet my daughter.
“Can I hold our daughter? Please?”
Zinnie nodded, and I gently took Melitta from her arms. She was a tiny sprite, so light in my arms that I barely registered her slight weight, but I felt it in an entirely different way, one that scared
“You’re perfect,” I said to her wise little face. I remembered a nurse once saying that brand new babies looked like they were born knowing everything, and my daughter seemed to be proof of
that.
I looked over at my wife who was watching me like a hawk, no tenderness in her eyes but a great deal of suspicion. As if I was about to run off with our child. As if I was a man who would do that to
the woman I loved.
I’d gone from the man she’d loved to the man she’d lost all faith in.
I needed to heal this rift between us before I lost her for good, and to do that, I had to start with
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what had gone wrong in me and all the ways I’d let down my wife.
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Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.