Chapter 66 - The pain that transcends time

Joana

Around two o'clock in the afternoon, there was a knock on the door, once, twice, three times. Maria, who was standing next to me, talking about her past loves, got up from the wooden armchair and stood facing me. At the last knock on the wooden surface, I felt a slight twinge in part of my gut, my heart had been racing ever since Fernando went in search of my attackers somewhere in the basement of the library.

"What are you waiting for, Maria? Go open the door, it must be your fiancé."

I tried to turn away from that soldier-woman's analytical gaze, she couldn't know how anxious and worried I was inside.

"It's not the duke." She answered and stood, looking at me and, in my peripheral vision, I realized that that pair of eyes couldn't escape me.

"Of course it is." I retorted, devoting my attention to the thick book I had stopped reading, a classic that had just been published at the time.

"The duke doesn't knock on his own bedroom door." Maria was smarter than I thought, she wasn't just a woman wielding a gun.

"He must have some reason for knocking, maybe his hands are busy, you didn't expect that, did you, sword girl?" I gave her a mocking smile and got out of bed.

I walked slowly towards the door. In truth, I wanted to believe it was my fiancé knocking on the door, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew it wasn't him. I just wanted to relieve the pressure that was persistently building up on my shoulders and, with every new minute that passed, and he didn't show up, the knot in my throat got even bigger.

I cleared my throat and pushed the bolt aside, to my surprise – or was it my misfortune? Ana de Hanover appeared at my door, accompanied by the young and docile Teresa, who smiled warmly when she saw me.

"Miss, have you forgotten me?" Teresa asked and smiled gently, while the viper stood behind her, as if it were a fearsome shadow about to attack her.

Get away from that woman, she's a scheming noblewoman who doesn't even deserve your friendship, Teresa! I shouted in my mind when I noticed that debauched smile adorning her face, I hope that my agitated eyes hadn't given me away.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Ana asked, looking me over thoroughly from head to toe, after all, what was she looking for in me?

"What? I mean, what do you want me to say?"

"Aren't you going to invite us in? I'm already tired of walking from where we were to my duke's room." She said, notoriously wanting to start a fuss by provoking me by talking like that.

Ana was visibly bigger than Teresa, but the wife of the Casanova family elder surpassed her, what a fucking woman!

Maria, who had just realized it was the two of them, relaxed her guard and loosened her grip on her sword.

"I apologize for the unusual way I received you, it's just that I wasn't prepared, I didn't even fix my hair." I waved at them and nodded. "You can come in and sit wherever you like."

Ana was the first to enter the room, her precise steps taking her straight to the bed. That girl was really teasing me, always with that stupid smile on her lips, and why the hell did she choose my bed to sit on? Teresa asked Maria to hand her one of the vacant chairs, she sat down and stared at me. On the other hand, I waited to hear what she had to say.

"I hate this book, the writer didn't know how to create a good plot, and the protagonist dies in the war." I heard Ana's sigh end my patience.

"Hey, I'm still reading the book and I didn't ask for your opinion, keep your comment to yourself, Ana." I took the book from her hand.

I wanted to drag her by the hair and bet on whether she could fly out of the window. That's right, I wanted to make her jump from the tower without a parachute, although chickens don't fly. I counted to five, so I wouldn't respond in the way she deserved.

"What a rude woman." Her affront continued and, with that sigh, I moved away, the further away we were from each other, the better it would be for her.

"Ana, please control yourself, we're here for another reason, not to affront Mrs. Casanova." Teresa frowned serene, she wasn't just a nice little girl, she was like a sunny day that suddenly turned cloudy.

All right, Teresa, do for me what I can't. I finally liked how the situation was turning in my favor.

"So thank you for putting that woman in her place."

"Speak up and let's go, Teresa! I can't stand the smell that emanates from here, in another era the aroma was sweeter." I bit my lips slightly and began to squeeze the cover of the book to control myself.

"What do you mean, Ana?"

"Sorry, Mrs. Casanova, I was thinking out loud here."

"If you think shit smells good, I can't say anything, after all, your little world is shit!"

Maria realized that if this conversation continued, Ana would know what my nails could draw on her skin, so she moved closer and got into a favorable position to avoid conflict.

"I see the wheelchair was your restriction, I feel sorry for Fernando for choosing you as his wife."

"The wheelchair or the crutches really were my barrier, I saw myself trapped and helpless in that uncomfortable position, but as far as you can tell, that limited woman who bowed her head no longer exists. You took advantage of me because I was in a moment of weakness and humiliated me as soon as you met me, why don't you try your luck and mock me again?"

"Do you really consider yourself a lady? Because, frankly, I see absolutely no difference between you and the sluts who scavenge on the streets. And what hole in Spain did Fernando pull you out of?"

By arching her eyebrow and teasing me with that lascivious smile, she only managed to raise my stress level to the maximum. All my remaining rationality vanished instantly. Who does this woman think I am to accept her provocations in my own bedroom?

Patience has its limits, and mine proved to be as fragile as a fine mirror. And that's exactly what happened when the wind burst into the room through the open windows, shattering what was left of my tranquility.

I clenched my fist and threw the book at her.

"What a shame I didn't get it right, your face."

"Apart from anything else, you're crazy." She added. "You could have blinded me if the book had hit my face!"

"To hell with that!"

Maria invaded my space between the two of us and grabbed Ana by the wrist, she shouted at me calling me something I didn't even understand, nor did I make a point of having understood, and in a few seconds my guard led her out of my bedroom.

"I had the pleasure of meeting the future Duchess of Barcelona, you will be with me and the girls at another time, my time is very short due to the asthma attacks my husband has been suffering lately, this is my karma. Now I have to leave with my husband, he's not well at all." She approached me and wrapped me in a tight hug. "I'm sorry for the mess that crazy woman made…"

"You're a beautiful woman, it's a shame you have such a terrible husband." She smiled, which made me smile too. "But don't feel anything for her, save your feelings for when I break that smile, Ana will need you to support her."

I tried to recover the air that was escaping uncontrollably from my lungs through my mouth.

"Stay calm, you're shaking."

"Really, I don't want the duke to find me dead when he gets back."

"It'll be all right. When your fiancé returns, send him my regards and best wishes, as I haven't seen him since yesterday."

"He had to deal with an urgent problem, but he'll be back soon, let me give him your message."

Teresa nodded and, like a fairy, spun on her heels. As she went out the door, Maria returned, closed the bolt and approached.

"Madam, would you like some water? You look pale!"

"Yes, please, bring me some water, that woman has exhausted my patience."

"Sit down, and I'll be back in a moment."

When Maria decided to leave in search of water, that incessant pain in my temples returned with impressive intensity. A kind of buzzing sound invaded my head, making me dizzy and my vision completely blurred. It was torture to endure this high-pitched sound and, frankly, keeping my sanity was an impossible task. Even my reasoning didn't seem to work properly.

However, it was just as I was drifting through this maelstrom of painful sensations that a light began to form in my mind, bringing up long-forgotten memories. Finally, or perhaps unfortunately, the pieces of the puzzle fell into place and I remembered everything. The truth came out again: Lucia really was my daughter.

At that moment, when the certainty of my motherhood became undeniable, I vividly remembered the pain Fernando had caused me in that dark, freezing cabin in the year 994. His eyes filled with tears as he cried out desperately, confessing an eternal love and expressing deep remorse. However, his words were in vain; holding a knife, he struck my belly twice. I will never forget the pain of that death at the hands of the man I loved.