When I woke up the next morning, the shades in the bedroom were drawn and there was a warm golden glow coming from the curtains. Yawning widely I stretched myself and enjoyed the moments of solitude before the day’s work call. I started thinking of what had taken place over the past few days—the chaos of my children's disappearance, the hearings at the court session, anger and exhaustion I experienced daily due to my inability to shift into a wolf.
A soft knock at the door jerked me out of my thoughts. “Enter,” I said, almost certain that it was my maid Sandra.
Sandra came in her bubbly way and poured water into the basin before bringing freshly washed linen. “Good morning my lady,” she said with as much cheer in her voice and on her face. “How did you sleep?”
“Well enough, Sandra. Thank you,” I said back to her, smiling at her. “And how are you this morning?”
“I am very fine, just fine just as you might have heard or just as you may be seeing me.”
_Leave it to Sandra to always be bubbly. Raven snorted. Who is ever happy this early in the morning?_
Sandra went about her chores, drawing a bath and getting my outfit for the morning. "The children are still asleep. Do you want to wake them up after your bath?”
“Yes, please. They will have to dress for the nursery soon,” I said, getting into the warm, sweet-smelling water that she had drawn.
“They have been quite lively these days which is good!" Sandra said, laughter tinting the words she said. “Charlotte appears to find her toes interesting while Reginald suddenly crawls so fast.”
I chuckled at the image. “They grow so quickly. Occasionally I feel overwhelmed.”
Sandra smiled knowingly. “They do make us all thorough and careful, that’s for sure.”
Then packing me into a tub, Sandra helped me to bathe and then dressed me up. “There,” she said and took a step back to assess the job that she had done. ‘You look beautiful my lady."
“Thank you, Sandra."
“It’s my pleasure, truly,” she replied, bowing slightly before she began to attend to the children.
I composed myself by adjusting my dress and looking at my image in the mirror for a few seconds. The woman whose face I saw reflected back at me was not the desperate, overwhelmed mother of only several days prior. With a deep breath, I turned.
Sandra had already dressed them and was engaging them on the floor playing with them. Charlotte and Reginald glanced up as soon as I joined them, their expressions brightening with delighted smiles. "Good morning my loves,” I said, bending down to hug them.
Reginald cooed at me with glee and grabbed for a clump of hair, Charlotte smiled and giggled helplessly at me. Their youthfulness and sheer joy made me feel happy.
“I will take them to the nursery now,” said Sandra, getting up from the seat with one child in each of her arms.
“Thank you.”
Sandra grinned while I was embracing my children one last time. “You better be good for Sandra, my darlings.”
But as I said that, Reginald began to cry so loudly and it took a really long time to pacify him.
When Sandra went out with the children, Harriet came into the room as full of life as a tornado. “You are ready for another day of training, are you cousin?”
I smiled – I was glad that she was excited about it. “Yes, let’s go. I could use the distraction.”
Harriet took my hand and walked with me towards the training grounds. “Well, how have you been all this time, Regina? She asked me, “After everything that has happened these last few days. Sorry for not checking on you, I've been quite preoccupied."
I took a deep breath in thankfulness for her care, concern, empathy, or whatever she was expressing. “I’m managing. Like… it’s so much… almost everything seems to be too much at times. The court, the children, my incapability to change…
Suddenly, Harriet retrieved her hand from my arm in order to pat it before offering me a gentle squeeze. "You're a strong woman. I know you'll survive it and just know that I'm always here for you."
“Thank you, Harriet. Your support is greatly appreciated.”
By the time we got close to the training grounds, I saw Micah silently nod at us from a distance.
“Regina, Harriet,” Micah greeted. Micah's tone was as brisk as always.
“Good morning, Micah,” I replied, trying to hide my lingering frustration. “Shall we begin?”
Micah nodded again. “Let’s start with basic forms. Then we’ll discuss your progress.”
Harriet watched from the sidelines as I moved through the forms Micah had taught me. Despite my growing proficiency, I couldn’t shake the feeling of inadequacy that gnawed at me.
After a while, Micah called for a break. We gathered near the edge of the training field, and I took a deep breath. “Micah, I still can’t transform into my wolf,” I admitted, my frustration evident.
Micah’s expression remained impassive. “What’s stopping you?”
“I don’t know,” I said, shaking my head. “I’ve tried everything you’ve taught me, but it’s like there’s a block I can’t get past.”
Micah regarded me silently for a moment before speaking. “Have you looked inward? Examine your fears and insecurities?”
I blinked, taken aback by their bluntness. “I… I suppose not thoroughly. But I don’t even know where to start.”
“Start by being honest with yourself,” Micah said curtly. “What are you afraid of?”
I hesitated, grappling with the question. “I don't know to be honest."
Micah’s gaze softened ever so slightly. “Transformation is not about strength alone. It’s about harmony. Mind and spirit must align.”
“But how do I achieve that?” I asked. “How do I find this harmony?”
“Stop forcing it,” Micah replied, his tone firm. “Pressure creates barriers. Be kind to yourself. Reflect. Listen to your inner voice.”
I nodded slowly, "I’ll try. It’s just hard not to feel like I’m failing.”
“You’re not failing,” Micah said, his voice uncharacteristically gentle which was very odd. “You’re learning. Trust the process.”