Chapter 31 Just a Birthday - Amelia’s POV
I ran my fingers along the spines of ancient leather-bound books, inhaling their musty scent as afternoon light streamed through the library's tall windows. Tomorrow I would turn twenty-one—a milestone that should have been celebrated with family and friends, not spent as a discarded offering in a foreign castle. But then again, this castle had somehow become more of a home in twelve days than the Frozen Mountain Pack house had been in years. Here, at least, I had windows that opened, food that nourished, and people who saw me—really saw me, wolf and all.
'Stop being so sentimental,' Kaela grumbled in my mind, though her mental voice lacked its usual bite. 'It's just a birthday.'
"It's not just any birthday," I whispered, sliding a book about wolf mythology back onto its shelf. "It's twenty-one. When wolves recognize their mates."
'Fat lot of good that will do us if I can't even shift,' she replied, her frustration bubbling beneath the surface.
I sighed, leaning against the bookshelf. Twelve days of work with Elder Nora, twelve days of meditation and potions and ancient rituals, and we were no closer to freeing Kaela from whatever prison kept her trapped inside me. My eyes burned with unshed tears as I thought about tomorrow—another deadline, another potential disappointment.
"Ah, there you are!"
I turned to see Elder Nora bustling toward me, her silver-streaked braid swinging with each determined step. Her eyes gleamed with an excitement I hadn't seen before, and she clutched a weathered tome to her chest like it contained secrets worth dying for.
"I've found something," she announced without preamble, her archaic accent more pronounced in her excitement. "A reference in the eastern texts that might explain your situation."
My heart leapt into my throat. "You have?"
'Don't get your hopes up,' Kaela warned, though I could feel her own anticipation rising to match mine. 'We've been disappointed before.'
"Come," Nora said, already turning toward the door. "The meditation garden will be better for this discussion. The ley lines will help us if we decide to try the new methods I've discovered."
I followed her through the castle corridors, my steps quickening to keep pace with her surprisingly spry movements. The afternoon sun cast long shadows across the marble floors, and servants nodded respectfully as we passed. It still felt strange being treated with deference rather than disdain, but I was slowly growing accustomed to it.
The meditation garden welcomed us with its gentle symphony of trickling water and rustling leaves. Nora led me directly to the stone bench surrounding the central pool, where our work had centered over the past days. The water reflected the sky perfectly, creating an illusion of infinite depth that sometimes made me dizzy if I stared too long.
"Sit," she instructed, settling beside me and opening the ancient book across her knees. "I've been researching bloodline curses—magical afflictions that pass through family lines."
I leaned closer, catching glimpses of faded illustrations depicting wolves with chains around their spirits. "Bloodline curses?"
Nora nodded, her fingers tracing the ancient text with reverence. "There are accounts dating back nearly a thousand years of female wolves who could not shift until they found their mates. The curse was typically placed on a female ancestor as punishment for some transgression, binding the wolves of her female descendants until they formed the bond that could break the chain."
I froze, her words hitting me like a physical blow. "So I might not be able to shift until I find my mate?"
'That's—' Kaela began, her mental voice vibrating with a complex mixture of emotions.
"That's impossible," I finished for her, the words escaping in a desperate rush. "If I can't shift, how would I even recognize my mate? Wolves need to shift to sense that connection."
"Not necessarily," Nora said, her sharp eyes studying my face. "The accounts vary. Some cursed females reportedly experienced strong reactions even in human form—physical symptoms, dreams, their wolves becoming agitated in the presence of their mates."
I shook my head, trying to process what she was telling me. "So I'm stuck in some sort of twisted catch-22? I can't shift until I find my mate, but I might not be able to recognize my mate because I can't shift?"
'Perfect,' Kaela growled, her anger flaring hot and bright. 'Just fucking perfect.'
Nora closed the book carefully, setting it aside. "We can't confirm this is your situation without knowing your family tree, of course. The curse would have to be traced through maternal bloodlines."
"Lovelace isn't even my real name," I said softly, the familiar ache of my unknown origins washing over me. "It's just what Elena and Marcus gave me when they found me. I don't know who my parents were, where I came from, nothing."
A shadow of sympathy crossed Nora's weathered face. "I suspected as much. Still, this gives us a new avenue to explore."
'Ask her about the methods she mentioned,' Kaela urged, desperate to shift the conversation away from our mutual disappointment.
"You said you found new methods we could try?" I prompted, grateful for Kaela's pragmatism.
Nora brightened, reaching into the pocket of her long dress to withdraw several small vials filled with liquids of varying colors. "Yes! If the curse theory is correct, these won't break the binding completely, but they might temporarily weaken it—enough for Kaela to push forward briefly."
Hope fluttered in my chest despite my best efforts to suppress it. We spent the next hour attempting various combinations of the potions, accompanied by chants in languages so ancient they made my tongue feel strange forming the sounds. With each failed attempt, my spirits sank lower, Kaela's frustration mounting in tandem with my own.
"Perhaps this one," Nora murmured, uncorking a vial of midnight-blue liquid. "Three drops under your tongue, then focus on pulling Kaela forward."
I did as instructed, the liquid burning slightly before dissolving into a taste like frozen berries. Closing my eyes, I reached for Kaela, feeling her surge toward the surface of our shared consciousness. For a moment—just a moment—I felt something different. A warmth, a stretching, the faintest suggestion of my skin beginning to ripple with change.
Then nothing. The sensation vanished as quickly as it had appeared, leaving Kaela howling with frustration in my mind.
'I HATE this!' she snarled, her mental voice cracking with emotion. 'I hate being trapped. I hate being useless. I hate being so close and still failing.'
I opened my eyes to find Nora watching me closely. "Something happened," she observed. "I saw your eyes flash gold for just an instant."
"Not enough," I whispered, tears threatening. "Never enough."
The shadows had lengthened across the garden as we worked, and I realized with a start that the time for my daily meeting with Aleksandr was approaching. As if summoned by the thought, his tall figure appeared at the garden entrance, moving toward us with that fluid grace that belied his size.
'Skoll,' Kaela whispered, momentarily distracted from her rage by the approach of the other wolf.
Nora gathered her materials, recognizing the shift in my attention. "We'll continue tomorrow," she said, rising from the bench. "Don't lose heart, child. We're making progress, even if it doesn't feel that way."
She nodded respectfully to Aleksandr as they passed each other on the stone path, his massive frame dwarfing her slight figure. I watched him approach, suddenly desperate for the comfort of his presence, for the connection Kaela found in Skoll. Tonight, more than ever, I needed not to feel alone.