CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
ANTHONY’S POV

It was way passed my curfew and usually I’d be freaking out by now, but I just had the second-best night of my life out with Michael and no amount of yelling from my mother was going to ruin it or make me regret staying out this late.

The last stop on our fabulous date was a fountain and Michael thought it would be fun if we entertained the sparkling water with all its beautiful and glorious coloured lights. Now, I was soaking wet and dripping all over my parents’ front porch, but it was worth it.

“Glad to know you still remember where you lived.” I froze at the sound of my father’s voice, the deepness and iciness of it sending a chill down my spine. I was expecting to see my mom in her robe, looking all worried and getting ready to berate me for making her blood pressure rise. I was not prepared to face Kyle Pearce in all his silent fury. “For a moment I thought you had lost your way home. That would explain why you were coming home late, right?”

Personally, I thought I was invisible to my father and that he only saw me when he wanted to ask me something, but he had also noticed my lateness on other days. Shit!

For reasons known only to my brain, whenever my father spoke to me, I never had anything to say. Words just refused to exit my mouth and be audible enough for the man to hear, which would lead to him glaring at me even more, making me squirm and even more unable to say anything.

“I...”

“You’re hanging out with a boy, aren’t you?” The way he asked that question like he was accusing me of committing the worst possible crime known to man – with so much venom and contempt. I felt my skin crawl and my mouth became drier than a desert. I wanted to say something, but all my body managed to do in reaction to what he said was produce liquid in my eyes.

“God, Tony, what the hell is wrong with you? How many times do I have to tell you not to do things like that? It may give people the wrong idea about you...”

“What wrong idea?” I was surprised at my own boldness to interrupt him. Never have I ever interjected when Kyle Pearce was giving me one of his infamous lectures. The look on my father’s face indicated his surprise too.

“Tony, don't be ridiculous. What do you think people will say if they saw you with...with another boy? Do you want people to think...”

“That I’m gay?” I asked. His face paled at the mention of the word ‘gay’ and I almost laughed at how ridiculously horrified he was at the mention of it. My tears were threatening to fall down, but I did not want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

“They can think that if they want. I am gay after all.” He cringed at that.

“You are not...” Even to say the word was hard for him. “You are only going through a phase. You do not like guys. You...”

“Of course I like guys!” I yelled, unable to take it anymore. Ever since I came out, he has only given me hell for it. He made it seem like liking guys made me less of a man and was unnatural and that I was an embarrassment to him. He made me take up basketball and he wanted me to stop pottery. Whenever Crystal tried to make me sit down for a manicure, he got all antsy and yelled at her to stop doing shit like that to me and warned me never to let her or anyone else dress me up like a female. It didn’t matter to him that being trans or a cross dresser was completely different from being gay. All of them fell under the same umbrella to him and he didn’t want any of that for his son.

“You will not take that tone with me, Anthony. You are only confused. It was probably because you hung out with only Blake Lindell while you were growing up so you got confused.”

I was getting sick and tired of him saying I was confused, like I didn’t know what my own heart and body wanted.

“Believe me dad, I didn’t want to be gay either. No one was more disappointed and disgusted with me than I was when I figured it out. Somehow, I knew that you wouldn’t be able to accept me and I hated myself for that. I don't like that I’m gay, okay?” My screams brought my mother and Crystal downstairs. One look at my mom and I just couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. She suffered just as much as I did when I came out and it broke my heart to see her look at me like that, with a look of pity and eyes that said “I wish I could take your place and be gay instead so you wouldn’t have to deal with this crap from your father.”

“Dad, what the hell are you saying to him?” Crystal was always there to defend me when my father brought up the topic of my sexuality. Because of me, her relationship with him has been rocky and she was no longer daddy’s little princess.

“Crys, stay out of this, okay? This is between me and your brother.”

“Kyle...” My mother went to calm him down, but he shrugged her away.

“No dad. This is between all of us. Don't you see what you’re doing to him? When last did you see Tony happy? You made him play basketball and you took away all the things that made him happy because you claimed that ‘they were giving him ideas’ and you didn’t like that. Can’t you see that the way you treat him has affected all of us? When last did we have a proper family dinner without you making a mean comment about Tony?”

My father was livid. He was trying to control his anger while staring at her. Despite their strained relationship, he still couldn’t yell at his little girl no matter how disrespectful she was being.

“All I want is to have a proper high school experience. I want to have a boyfriend and fall in love with him and go on dates and introduce him to my parents when I was confident that he was the one. I just want to be able to do the things I want to do, listen to the kind of music I like without anyone seeing me as a disgusting human being. Can’t you do that for me?” He didn’t answer me, but I didn’t need to hear his words to know what he thought about that.

Without wasting another second in that suffocating room, I turned and left, slamming the door on my way out. I could hear my mom and sister call out to me, but I ignored them. I didn’t want to be with them at the moment.

I had only gotten five steps away from my front door when I bumped into someone.

“Pearce, are you okay? I heard yelling and I thought something was wrong.”

Crap! The last person I wanted to be near right now was standing right in front of me, his voice warm and concerned, his hand on my shoulder a welcome relief and comfort. Unlike Blake’s mansion, my house was not soundproof at all and for the first time ever I was jealous of the house he lived in.

“Are you okay, Anthony?” he asked again, after having discovered my tears. The front door opened and I heard Crystal call my name. Quickly, I grabbed Blake’s hand and I dragged him towards the opposite direction, all the way to the park.

“Anthony?” he called tenderly. Even in this situation I still got goosebumps and butterflies in my belly from how he said my name. Blake had me in a chokehold and he didn’t even know it.

“I just...I just needed a break from my father, that’s all.” I sniffed and wiped at my face, clearing it of the tears that trailed down my cheeks.

“Is he giving you a hard time about not practicing enough and coming back late?”

“Something like that.” There was silence between us, the only sound the crickets in the background. It was almost midnight so it’s safe to say no one else was in the park with us. I shivered in the cold wind, my wet body not pleased by my decision to be outside like this. Blake noticed it and he gave me his hoodie. I couldn’t help but blush despite my situation.

“Can I ask you a question, Blake?” He squeezed my thigh and moved closer to me. The air was a little chilly, but when his clothed knee touched mine, I felt electricity run up my legs and warm me up.

“Sure. What is it?”

“When I came out to you...” The things that happened afterwards flashed through my mind, halting the completion of that question. I didn’t want to relive old wounds because what happened in the days after my confession led to the end of our friendship, but I wanted to know.

“When I told you I was gay, what did you think of me then?”

“Well, to be honest I thought you were cool. And brave.” His words made me smile.

“I’m serious, Blake. Don't try to make me feel better.”

“I am serious too. It’s the twenty first century, but the LGBTQ community is still being treated like outcasts and degenerates. People are scared of coming out and embracing their sexuality and a lot of them get ousted from their homes. I thought it was cool of you to come out especially when you weren’t even sure how I’d react to it. It made me like you even more.”

“If you liked me even more, why did you do that then?” I wanted to ask, but held my tongue.

“I don't like that I’m gay,” I said after a beat.

“Tony...” his breathy pronunciation of my name tugged at my heartstring. Everything about Blake Lindell made me feel anxious, but in a good way, like I had butterflies permanently in my belly. I liked him – maybe even loved him more than I knew I could love another human being – and it pained me so much that he was straight and that he was dating my sister and that he couldn’t remember being a part of the best night of my life, being the person who made it that even.

When I turned to face him, he had this sad puppy dog look on his face. It wasn’t pity or anything like that, but it showed that he sympathized with me even though he didn’t fully understand my pain.

I watched his eyes quiver and grow misty while he stared down at me. My eyes moved down to his lips and I couldn’t help but want to feel them against mine again.

“I’m really, really sad right now Blake,” I said in a whisper. My eyes were fixed on his lips and he wasn’t moving at all. We were so close, closer than two friends should be, and I didn’t want to move away from him.

“What can I do to make you feel better?” he asked, his voice as low and breathy as mine. I knew what I wanted, and even though it was wrong of me to want it, I still wanted it.

“Kiss me.”

I didn’t give him enough time to register my words and agree to them. In one sweeping motion, I pressed my lips against his, sending sparks of electricity through my whole body. The kiss was warm, sweet and soothing to my aching, gay soul. I wanted more than to kiss him, but I didn’t want to break the spell of what was going on then.

My lips were against his for a while, and when he didn’t open his mouth to receive me, I began to feel embarrassed and regret my actions. But before I could pull away, his lips parted and took mine in, cupping my face in his cold palms and tilting my head to the side. When his tongue found its way into my mouth, I lost all sense of reasoning.

Blake and I kissed for a very, very long time. By the time we came up for air, I had forgotten what the hell made me sad in the first place, my heart felt like it wanted out of my ribcage, my legs were no longer functioning and my boner was raging like a bitch.

At least, this time around, he was well aware of his actions and that made me even happier.