Passing Time
Lilieth
The days are all starting to blur together again.
I thought time would go by a lot slower, considering how monotonous my days tend to be. I have lessons in the morning, short little assignments that take a minimal amount of research, and when we have practical classes, we're outside, working under the gray sky. When I'm done with all that, I'll eat and head to my room, where I'll spend the rest of the afternoon staring at the stained ceiling while thinking about all the terrible things that have happened to me so far in my life.
Day after day. It's the same routine.
Petra always finds a way to rub it in my face that she's the one who's engaged. Her actions have an effect on my mood, I won't deny it. This is something that's taking me a long damn time to get over. If anything, it's a reminder of how naive I've been, but I've taken it as a lesson to never ignore my gut feeling again.
But by the goddess, am I heartbroken. To the point of being irritated by myself and my own fragility.
I should be getting over this whole thing quicker than I am.
I haven't seen Timmon in ages, either. Ever since I returned from the failed hunt, he's been away from the academy. I haven't asked for any information about him; I'm just patiently awaiting the day of his return.
That is if it ever happens.
All in all, what bothers me the most is my loneliness. If I had someone to talk to like I did before, maybe I wouldn't waste so much time thinking about Cadeon.
Then again, Timmon is his brother. Who's to say he'd get close to me after what transpired between the two of us?
After our class, I pack my things slowly so that the other females can leave before me. Cadence likes to ask me a few questions after class to ensure that I'm absorbing the learning material well. She's insistent that I learn something while I'm here.
I do as she asks because it doesn't bother me. I'm glad to have her, and I can't wait to unmask the mystery behind her friendship with my mother.
I can hardly wait to see them all again.
"Everything alright?"
I nod. "I found today's lesson to be extremely helpful."
"It'll be necessary for what's coming."
I arch a brow. "And what's that?"
"You know I'm not allowed to say, and no, I won't break the rules for you." A smile tugs at the corners of her lips, turning them up. "Just know that it'll be essential."
Since today's lesson had to do with hunting and killing animals but in detail, including the whole process of skinning and deboning, I'm thinking we'll probably have a test on it. I've done it before back home, so it was only a matter of refreshing my knowledge of it.
"Thank you,"
"You're welcome. Don't forget to come to me with any questions you might have."
"Sure."
I head out of the class. Some days I'll have lunch and other days I won't. Today, I'm up for it. I start toward the dining hall, eager to get lunch done and over with. Though the others don't bother me anymore—and I mean at all—and I don't have to deal with unpleasantries, I still prefer to spend time away from everyone.
Plus, Petra always mentions the engagement or any interaction she has with Cadeon out loud to make sure I hear it. I don't doubt that she somehow discovered about us. That, or she has the gift of sight. Either way, whenever I hear her, it's like rubbing salt in the gaping wound he left behind.
And yes, it could be that he only did it to spare me somehow, but it still hurts.
I have lunch as quickly as I can, then head to my room.
On the way there, I come across Golen.
The sight of him brings me to a staggering halt. He's someone he has been steadily avoiding, and if it weren't for Cadence, I would have left this place solely because of him. I don't understand him and that scares me.
But what I do know is that he's a threat to me, even if he doesn't openly show it.
I don't have a weapon with me. I usually don't bring it to class. That'll change. I watch him steadily, making sure he won't make any sudden moves. I could always shift to get away from him, but I really hope it doesn't come to that.
"Miss Grimwylde," he says in greeting.
I feel my expression hardening and it's completely out of my control. "Instructor."
I wonder if he's going to say something else, but it seems it isn't his intention to do so. I start to walk past him, ensuring that there's more than enough space between the two of us. From the corner of my eye, I see his lips curve into a smile.
Shivers race down my spine but I keep going, not stopping for a second. I look over my shoulder and see that he's nowhere behind me.
That doesn't make me feel less safe, though. I've come to realize that man's worse than his son.
The sight of letters waiting for me really cheers me up, as it's been a few days since I last heard from them. This one from Deo is especially pleasant because she's letting me know that she and Corey are waiting for my arrival to conduct the official mating ceremony.
This news genuinely brings fresh tears to my eyes.
We'll all meet after the quarter, her letter says. Stay strong. We love you.
I hold the page close to my chest and take a few steadying breaths. I can hardly wait. It feels like the world all around me is still spinning while I'm rooted to the spot, waiting for my turn to rejoin the rest of them.
Some days it feels like I'll never leave this damned place.
But I know that can't be true. Nothing lasts forever, not good moments or bad ones.
This I've experienced firsthand.