Book 3: Chapter 65: Lexy
Book 3: Chapter 65: Lexy
Lexy
It felt weird to be back. It felt weird to have a potential truce with Annabeth. I felt like I belonged but also didn't all at once.
"How did you even know I was back?" I asked her as I turned back to my papers even though my eyes were blurring with exhaustion.
"I had a vision." She admitted, and I was surprised because she usually tried to avoid having them. Ever since her first couple run-ins with Jake all those years ago when she kept seeing horrible things every time they touched, she stopped trying to use any of her gifts, so the fact that she was using Mydem again surprised me.
I nodded in an attempt to not make too big of a reaction to her news.
"Where were you, Lex?"
"I went to go make you an alliance with someone that is already in Vivian's pocket, at least a little bit. He'll be here at some point to meet with you. He wouldn't give me an exact time or date, that would give me too much power." I couldn't keep the sarcasm or bitterness from my tone. "You'll know when he's here."
"Who is it?" She asked with a frown.
"You'll know when he comes," I sigh. "I'm still afraid he'll change his mind."
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, my back burning with its most recent atrocities. I was grateful for the Mydem that hid it from sight. A little party trick Alex taught me ages ago. It normally helped with the pain too as well as keeping my scars hidden or at least mostly hidden, but for some reason it wasn't working that well in that moment.
"You really do look tired, Lex." She said as she studied me with a scrutiny that I wished she wouldn't. "Come on, put that stuff away. It can wait until you're rested."
I shook my head. "I'm fine."
"You're not." She shook her head holding up her wrist that still marked us as Bwenzi Nkhodos. "And nothing is that important. You look like shit."
I huffed. "Thank you so much for that."
She pulled on my arm, ignoring my sarcasm, and I couldn't help but grimace at the pain, and allowed her to pull me up.
"Go get some sleep, Lexy."
"Okay," I finally relented. "But don't let me sleep past 7!"
"You will sleep until your body tells you it's enough." She said sharply.
"Okay, okay," I threw my hands up in surrender, despite still not wanting to go.
"Can I trust you to get yourself back to your tent?" She asked, and I noticed two figures lurking in the shadows. It was only because of my abilities that I knew Jake was waiting on Annabeth, and Matt was waiting for me.
"Yes." I gestured to where Matt was. "Someone was eavesdropping."
She looked around nervously, but when she realized it was only Matt, she relaxed and started walking off toward where Jake was.
I waited until she disappeared from sight and made my way over toward my other friend. The one I knew wouldn't hold off on the lecture.
We had taken all of three steps together when he said, "What the hell were you thinking?" Anger laced his words with a venom I had been prepared for but still had hoped wouldn't come.
"Whatever are you talking about?" I asked, deflecting his question.
"You can't just run away like that, Lexy!"
I felt instantly irritated. To judge my choices without having any idea what it had been like being back. To lose my sister. To feel like I was failing everyone around me. To be back in Calina and have my body hate me for it. He had no right.
“I’m not sorry.” I answered in a hushed voice as we entered my tent, knowing that Calynn was probably still sleeping. “I had things to take care of.”
I threw my stuff onto the empty table, and Matt let out a frustrated exhale. “I know you’re not sorry. You always have stuff to take care of, and it isn’t an excuse, Alexandra. You can’t just run away when you get mad.” His voice was softer, but no less angry.
“You think I left because I was angry?’’ I asked outraged. “Get out.”
He sighed again, this time letting go of his anger. “No. Annabeth sent you in here to get some sleep. I know you don’t like to sleep alone.”
“Oh, so your gonna take care of me now?” I snapped. I was no longer the least bit tired. “You didn’t stand up for me!” My voice was rising. “Of all the people I thought would bail on me, it wasn’t you, Matthew! You bailed. You think I’m some kind of crazy lunatic who just runs away because she’s mad. You think they’re right!”
He didn’t answer. He just stood there, as tears threatened my eyes.
“Get. Out.”
I felt the panic rise in my chest. The pain of everything that was eating me alive. It was never enough. I kept giving them every fucking thing I had, and it was never enough.
"No..." He sounded more hesitant this time though. "No, you need to sleep. You promised Annabeth you would. And I know you don't sleep well. Especially alone."
“Get Out!” This time I shouted, and both Calynn and Seth came running in from different directions.
“What the?”
“What’s going on?”
They both asked at the same time.
“Get out, Matt!” I shouted again. “You have no right! Get out!” I threw a pillow from the couch at him, hoping that he would know that I meant it. That careful control that I always kept was long gone. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. It didn't make sense. But the panic inside only grew.
“Go,” I heard Seth say as I started to pace the floor back and forth, attempting to calm my panic. As I tried to push back the emotions I had kept locked up for so long.
Matt lingered for another moment, but Seth took one step toward him, and he left. Not that it fixed my panic. I hated that I wasn't alone. I wanted to bolt. But I forced myself to walk to the small family room.
“Go back to bed, Calynn,” Seth said in a quiet voice.
And I was glad she had said so. I really didn’t want to show my sister just how broken I really was. I didn't want anyone to see how broken I really was. But if I walked out of the tent, more people would see. I had to be okay with Seth seeing my crash-out. There was nowhere else to go.
I don’t know how long they let me pace as I cried and tried to bury my emotions, but eventually Seth came up behind me, and wrapped his arms around me tightly. His gentle hands stroked my hair as I cried into his shirt. And most importantly, he didn't let go.