CHAPTER 51: ENTER GRACE

Myla.

Relief. A sudden rush of it went tumbling through me, bright and intense and doing a lot to put me at ease. Not having Sophia felt wrong. It felt like missing a limb or having a part of me suddenly ripped away. She’s always been there to lean on and someone that constantly pushed me to be more. I admit that at times, that persistence of hers to get me to try new things would frustrate me to no end but at the end of the day, she’s just trying to help me. I understand that.

I stared at her now, so happy to see her back to her usual self and not angry with me anymore (even though I knew she had every reason to be mad at me). I’m glad that we were moving forward and not holding onto the past.

“I think I’ll be a much happier person once we’re back home. This extended jaunt here is starting to stretch my nerves super thin,” Sophia said, idly. She looked like she was just finishing up something she’d been working on. Whatever it was, it ate up probably the last two or so hours of the work day. It was almost time to call it quits.

“You and me both,” I told her. “This place is starting to fill me up with more terrible memories than good ones.”

“Even though the good ones are of you having incredible sex with the boss and having him rope you into a weird marriage contract that actually sounds really hot?” Sophia asked.

“Well, to be honest, I’d like to say no, but the other things are REALLY bad. Fabian getting shot. That psycho coming after the both of us after that. The incident with George. But I will say, it is a seriously close match-up. Like neck and neck,” I replied with a smile. My cheeks started to heat up and I could tell they were probably rosy and red. “Fabian is great, don’t get me wrong, but with everything that’s happened…”

“Stop, Myla,” Sophia said. Her face immediately switched from pleasant and warm to stern. “Stop doing that. You know I’ve watched you do this so many times in the past. Whenever something good starts to happen with you, without a second thought, you start poking holes in it.”

“I do? I asked. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you always start to look at the negative things in your life. Focus on the good things. Yes, what happened sucked a big bag of dicks, but it happened. It’s over now. Fabian is alright. You’re alright. All of us are alright.” She pinned me with her gaze and I could tell she wouldn’t be backing down any time soon. Or coming down off her proverbial soap box. I didn’t bother trying to stop her either. It was best to just listen and then move on. Besides, it usually did end up being pretty good advice.

Well…almost usually. There were a few unfortunate incidents in the past where I followed her advice and things went off the rails real quick, but I didn’t blame her. Not really anyway. A lot of those times I didn’t exactly…commit…to the advice and that’s usually why those things went a bit weird.

“I get that but it’s hard to…I don’t know…just let all that go. What if that guy came after Fabian because of me? What if it was my fault somehow?” I asked, finally breaking down at the thought of that man’s words.

Myla is mine.

That’s what he’d said.

“Why on Earth would you say something as stupid as that?” Sophia asked.

Those words played back in my head again. I tossed them around and around in my head ever since but I still couldn’t make sense of it. They told me his name, Douglas Duncan, but that hadn’t rung any bells for me and I didn’t get a chance to see his face. Whenever the news story would come up on my phone with a photo of the guy, I would hurriedly scroll past and actively try to avoid it. I didn’t want to see the man’s face. Something inside me thought that if I did, I would only confirm my worst fear.

That Fabian had almost died because of me.

There was no way to tell for sure. Not without talking to Fabian about the whole ordeal. There might be some clue or insight he had about the attack but for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to ask about it. I think he knew something about the man that had been killed but he didn’t want to tell me and, again, I didn’t want to know. Not deep down anyway.

“Something the guy said, right before he tried to shoot us,” I whispered back, absently staring at my monitor but not really seeing anything there. “I don’t want to really get into it though. Whenever I do think about it, it just hurts and makes me sad.”

“Okay, you need to listen to me really good right now,” Sophia said.

I continued to stare hard at the monitor and did not look over at her.

“Hey, eyes over here, girl,” she said. I heard something hard and snappish in her voice. The tone of it broke through my semi-daydreaming state. Slowly, I turned my head toward her. It was a deliberate slowness, mostly out of stubbornness than anything else though. “Okay, I’m gonna ignore the insolence from you.” She laughed as she said that and so did I. After we were done, she continued, her face turning serious again. “Anyway, now that you’re actually focused on me, you are NOT at fault here. Ok? It’s the psycho’s fault. So stop doing that to yourself. Letting guilt eat at you is ridiculous. Cut it out.”

“But..”

“No buts, you hear me?” she asked.

I stammered awkwardly.

“I want to hear you say it,” Sophia said. She looked like a mom giving a stern lesson to one of her kids. I guess that was pretty much true.

“No buts,” I finally agreed. “It…” I paused, mustering up my courage. “It was not my fault. IT WAS NOT MY FAULT!”

“Goddamn right it was not your fault,” Sophia shot back.

As serious as she was, and as vehement as she was, I still caught a glint of tears in her eyes.

“You okay?” I asked.

“No,” she responded, taking a shuddering breath. “When the attack happened…and you were inside. I thought…”

She couldn’t finish speaking. Instead, her voice died out and she just cried softly to herself. Without a second thought, I got up and went over to her. I hugged her.

“I’m such a bitch,” she wailed. “I was so mad at you and then that…that…psychotic asshole almost took you from me. And the last thing you would’ve known before you were gone forever was that I was pissed at you.”

I hugged her even closer.

“Sophs, please don’t worry. It’s alright now, remember?” I told her.

It took a few minutes, but eventually, the two of us emotional wrecks were somewhat back to normal. It was rough going there for a bit, but I was happy that in a weird way, all the bad, horrible things that have happened at least had the happy side effect of fixing mine and Sophia’s friendship.

“You better not scare me like that again,” Sophia commanded.

“Promise,” I told her with a small laugh, giving her one last squeeze before I went back to my desk and sat down again.

Before I could even get fully situated again, our office’s door opened sharply enough to bang against the wall. The loud noise startled the both of us. We turned toward the door and there, standing in the doorway was Grace, a truly pissed-off look on her face. And I mean pissed. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone that angry before in my life. That was an obvious exaggeration but let’s just say, she had the kind of anger on her face that would immediately make me cringe away in fear, kind of like cringing away from an open, hot flame.

“Myla,” Grace snarled my name out as if it were something foul in her mouth.

I want to make sure I remind all of you of how non-confrontational I am as a person. Was there some kind of past trauma that made me this way? I don’t think so. My father, before he left my mom and me, had been sort of timid, like me. But that had been a long, long time ago. He abandoned us when I was seven. I haven’t seen him since. I’ve heard my mom talking to friends and family over the years when she thought I couldn’t hear that he had a new family, but I never really cared to ask for details. I thought it would just upset her. Since then, I did whatever I could not to make her angry, sad, hurt, or anything else like that. Apparently, that mindset carried over to other people and even into my adult life.

Sophia’s gaze shot toward Grace and she started to get out of her chair.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Sophia asked.

“I’m not here for you,” Grace snapped. “I’m here for her.”

“What? Why?” I asked, confused. I should be the one pissed at her, especially considering all the horrible things she’s been up to, like trying to turn Sophia against me.

“You’re such a gutless little coward,” she yelled. “You think turning Fabian against me is going to do anything? You’re pathetic.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked. I had no clue what she meant by that. Why did she think I turned Fabian against her? God, my voice sounded so meek too. I didn’t want her to think she was intimidating me but here I was, sounding like a stupid chipmunk. Fortunately, I have a Sophia.

“Whoa, bitch,” she snapped. There was a sharp edge of anger in her voice. “You can’t just storm in here in all Ms. Whole-Ass-Rod-Jammed-Up-Her-Fucking-Ass like that. Myla didn’t do anything so back the fuck off.”

Grace turned to Sophia, her eyes narrowing even more with rage. There was something almost sad about that look too, and I figured it had something to do with Sophia siding with me. Sophia hadn’t given me all the details of what went on with the two of them, but I knew enough to know Grace had tried using her to hurt me. It was a stone-cold move and, if I’m being honest, one that still stung me quite a bit. I had a feeling Grace was upset because she now found herself without Fabian and now, without Sophia too. In her eyes, it must have been like I was taking something from her, but let’s be real, Sophia had been my best friend first and it wasn’t my fault Fabian wasn’t into her. He was his own person and he made a choice.

I was that choice.

Not her.

“You need to leave my office now, Grace,” I said, surprising even myself with how strong it came out. It was so forceful that even Sophia shot a double take at me. “I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about but I will not have you burst in here and try to start a fight with me. It’s unprofessional and honestly, you’re better than that.”

“Fuck you,” Grace snarled. Then she turned to Sophia. “And fuck you too.”

Sophia looked like she was about to hurl herself at Grace and part of me, a deeply-rooted and dark part, wanted to see her do it. I’ve shown this woman nothing but kindness and friendship. And now, because she wasn’t able to get what she wanted and the man she was interested in (while married I’ll remind everyone) did not have those feelings back, she wanted to blame me. I wasn’t having any of that. And I was tired of letting people think they could do that kind of thing to me.

No more dammit.

“Don’t, Sophs. She isn’t worth getting fired or facing discipline over.” I turned my attention back to Grace. “Just leave, Grace. Leave and I won’t get anyone else involved but I’ve already been through way too much crap recently to let you try to intimidate me into backing down.”

Grace looked uncertain for a moment, wondering if I really had the willpower to stand up to her. Eventually, I think she came to the conclusion that I definitely did and that I wouldn’t be backing down. If anything, a scene was about to be made and that had the obvious threat of making her look incredibly bad. I could see her weighing options in her head and that uncertainty grew inside her.

“Just…” She stared at each of us in turn. “Stay away from me. Both of you.”

Then she turned and walked out.

My heart hammered inside my chest once the whole thing was over and my hands trembled. I took in a nice, long, slow breath to try and normalize myself. Then I looked over at Sophia.

“What was that all about?”