Chapter 66 Separate
There was a soft, final click as the front door closed. The car's engine began to hum a steady low drone that eventually faded away.
Standing in the grand foyer, Annabel felt the stillness of the enormous house descend upon her like a dense fog. Its emptiness was palpable as the air felt heavy and the room appeared to grow.
Carson and Victoria had left her behind and headed to the city where Carson would be introduced to a world of shareholders and boardrooms that he had no prior knowledge of.
She was by herself. Her footsteps on the marble floor were the only sound to break the silence. Every step was like a single beat in a song she didn't know the words to.
Returning to the wing that was now hers, she had to admit it was lovely. High ceilings and a large window overlooking a well-kept lawn made up the enormous space.
All of the furniture was antique and the bed was a four-poster covered in a heavy thick quilt. Although the room was fit for a queen, Annabel felt as though she was a ghost haunting the space.
She traced her fingers over the elaborate carvings on a wooden desk as she ran her hand over its polished surface. A wave of sadness swept over her. She had decided to live this life.
She had returned to live this life. She wondered however if she had made a mistake as she stood there in the icy perfect silence.
She missed the carefree chaos of her previous life. The tiny apartment with the noisy neighbors, the dripping faucet and the morning aroma of fresh coffee brewing.
She missed her easy carefree days with Carson when they would stroll through the park and spend hours discussing everything and nothing.
Their love had been a straightforward and obvious thing back then. It was a complicated lie now with expectations and family legacy interwoven.
She approached the window and peered out. With the trees standing tall and proud and their leaves rustling in the soft breeze the garden was a flawless symphony of green and gold.
She caught a glimpse of a tiny stooped figure tending to a flower bed in the distance. He was working quietly and was a man who lived in his own world. An envious feeling touched Annabel.
He had an easy task and a well-defined course. It appeared that her journey was anything but free. The day went on interminably a blank void.
She attempted to read a book from a living room shelf but the words were too fast for her to follow. She put it down and looked at the portraits on the walls as she strolled through the hallways once more her hand moving across the wallpaper.
All of them were Lancaster's generations of stern expressionless faces that appeared to condemn her based only on their appearance.
She was chilled from head to toe. She was engulfed by the cushions of a soft couch in a tiny living room. Her bones ached dullly from boredom a sensation so intense that it made her feel ill.
Throughout her life she had a strong need to create and accomplish something. Now all she had to do was be there. The bars were lovely but they were still bars and she was a bird in a golden cage.
Carson entered her mind. In a room full of people he hardly knew she imagined him wearing a suit and being instructed on what to do and be.
She felt an increase in sympathy for him and her stomach knotted up with anxiety. There had been a lot of emotion and a strong need for each other when they reunited.
A tear trickled down Annabel's cheek as she closed her eyes. It was an expression of longing for their former simple lovely love. A tear for the future and the unpredictability that awaited them.
She shed a tear for herself and the woman she was growing into—a woman who needed to be resilient and a part of this new family and world.
She was aware that she couldn't conceal. She was unable to run. She had nowhere to run to anyway and the front door was too far away. She was now forced to live with the decision she had made.
She needed strength. This had to involve her. She was a Lancaster of course. She straightened her back and raised her chin as she stood. She made her way back to the window but this time she had a different goal.
She wasn't a prisoner. She was an intruder. Someone who was new to the game and didn't know the rules. She had to learn them as well.
Her gaze swept across the expansive grounds, the towering walls enclosing the estate and the gates that barred the outside world.
She was indeed in a cage but it was a secure one. She needed to discover where she fit in these walls. Even in this situation she had to figure out how to be herself.
She needed to remain optimistic.
As the sun started to set the sky turned pink and orange. The room was bathed in a warm glow from the light coming in through the window which seemed to drive out the cold.
A calm determination descended upon her. This wouldn't break her heart. She refused to be changed by this place. She would figure out how to be herself and be happy. Her memories of the woman she was and the man she loved would endure.
She refused to let the legacy's burden break her. She looked out the window and then at the doorway.
There was a slight noise, a slow purposeful knock. Her heart jumped with joy. Hope fluttered in her chest a delicate lovely thing. Was it Carson? Had he returned already?
With her hand reaching for the doorknob she stepped forward. The knock was heard once more a bit louder. After taking a deep breath she opened the door with a renewed sense of purpose.