Chapter 43 The Verdict
The following morning I decided on something. I needed to know what was going on.
The flat had a cage-like feel to it. It was too clean and too quiet. I felt like I was being choked by the sterile air. I was unable to stay.
I had to stop running. Whatever the truth was I had to face it head-on. Carson's deep even breaths were like the puzzle pieces clinking into place as I watched him sleep through a night of restless dread.
I had to know for sure. I had to find out why. I called Fred A little battle was raging in my head as my thumb lingered over his name on my phone.
I took a reassuring breath and hit call. “Annabel?” he asked in a relieved tone that was so real it nearly made me doubt my conviction. “How are you? Where are you? Are you okay?”
I said my voice tight a thin wire of control “I'm fine. I need to see you.”
He was hesitant. A reserved tone took the place of the relief in his voice. “It's too risky Ann.”
I stated bluntly. “I am aware that they are. I'll be careful. Tell me where we can meet please.”
He sighed a sound of heavy resignation that I could hear over the other end. He provided me with a address—a peaceful cafe across the city.
He told me to be careful. I put the phone back in my pocket after hanging up my hand trembling a little. My lungs were filled with cold air as I inhaled deeply. I wanted clarification. I didnt want to be fleeing my own shadow. I put on jeans and a sweater covering my face with the hood.
I picked up my bag which contained a cold heavy flash drive. With a sense of finality that made it seem like there was no turning back I walked out of the apartment as the door clicked shut.
The sea of faces on the streets crowded with morning commuters made me feel oddly anonymous. I swerved through the crowds looking around for any indication of a tail.
I arrived at the cafe a modest little spot with tables on the street.
With a steaming cup of coffee in front of him Fred was seated outside. In a setting full of students and artists he appeared out of place as a man wearing a standard suit. He turned when he heard my footsteps.
His smile vanished when he saw me to be replaced by a look of deep exhausted sadness. He appeared older and different with deeper facial lines than I had remembered. After he pulled out the chair I took a seat.
He waved away a waitress who had passed by. We then started talking.
“Do you want anything to drink?” he asked.
I said “no.” I spoke firmly.
I wanted to cut right to the chase. “Fred” I said softly. “I need the truth. The whole thing.”
His gaze was fixed on his coffee. “Annabel I have no idea what you're talking about. I shared all of my knowledge with you.”
“You didnt” I retorted bending slightly. “I was informed that there was a mole. You wouldnt however identify who.”
He refused to look at me. “I told you what I could. There is a leak. We have been compromised for some time. I simply couldnt use the phone to risk telling you everything.”
“You had your chance” I said raising my voice a little. “They located the flat, the one that I was in with Carson. Fred how did they find us? It is impossible for them to have known. Not unless someone informed them. Someone inside.”
“I dont know” he said raising his head into the air. His eyes were worn out and troubled. “I really have no idea how. I have no idea why. They are ahead of us though.”
“And I asked you who it was” I pushed my words piercing like shards of glass.
He shifted in his chair uneasily. “Annabel I am unable to— We lack sufficient proof.”
“You’re lying” I said the accusation weighing heavily on my heart. “There is something you are keeping from me. Is it Carson?”
He shook his head. The movement was tight and tiny.
“No. I have no proof for that. I said he was with us. We share the same viewpoint. We have the same objective.”
I posed the silent challenge “Are we?. Because it seems like I'm the only employee of this company. I feel like I'm the only one who is being truthful. Fred I need you to be truthful. Absolutely.”
Again he said “No.” his voice cracking a little. “I warned you. I put my all into the oath. that I would tell you the truth.”
We spent some time talking. The exchange of half-answers and avoidances was frustrating and the conversation was a tense dance around the truth.
I sensed his hesitation and fear which only strengthened my suspicions.
He was defending a vulnerable person. And I recognized the person. I could sense it in my bones.
“Tell me Fred. Could you please? I must know.”
He emphasized “I’ve told you all I can. You are safer if you know less. Annabel this is a game. The players are not all familiar to you. You're not aware of the rules.”
“Then tell me the rules. You see I cant rely on anyone. Not you even. Not while youre acting so evasively.”
He said “I am trying to keep you safe” in a whisper that was now desperate.” The game is more significant than you may imagine. If I told you you would not believe me.”
“Try me.” I challenged him. “I'm prepared to know Did he tell them where we were? Is he the one? Is he the reason they were there?”
He was silent. With a silent and agonizing admission in his eyes he simply gazed at me. The words didnt need to be spoken by him. The appearance was sufficient. I didnt need any more evidence.
A wave of cold realization swept over me. The treachery was genuine. He was. After that my phone rang. It was Carson. Our tense conversation was abruptly interrupted when his name flashed on the screen. I retrieved it.
He said “Annabel” in a voice that was urgent and stricken with panic. “Where are you? Please return to the apartment right away.”
The phone rang to the end. With my head spinning I turned to face Fred. I’d to leave. I had to understand what was happening. I had no choice but to see him.
“I have to go “I said.