Chapter Eight

Dimitri’s POV.

“Adrik,” I muttered in my head even though I knew there was no point. My wolf had deserted me. And I did not even want to know how long this was going to last.

I was weak, and I needed him. But I knew the only way he would come back was if I managed to get our mate back in our good graces. I knew how much of an asshole I had been. However, Adrik knew just as much as I did that I was doing it for a greater good. He was just too stubborn.

“I want my mate as well, Adrik. Do you think it is not killing me to be so close to her yet not be able to claim her? Do you know how much I wrench my heart every time I have to push her away because I am so scared I will break and tell her every fucking thing?”

I felt Adrik and I let out a grateful sigh. He knew as much as I did that whatever I was saying made a lot of sense. But he was so stubborn and impulsive. He just wanted us to claim Willow, consequences be damned.

“Those are excuses, Dimitri. You know damned well we could have found a solution. You know this!” Adrik roared and I winced at the strength in his words.

I scoffed. Adrik knew just as well as I did that there was no solution. If I claimed Willow, we would become Alpha, the one thing we had been avoiding all our lives.

“What solution, Adrik? Tell me, what solution! You know just as well as I do that they would have known. There is absolutely nothing we can hide from the elders. They communicate with the Goddess, for crying out loud.”

“Jeopardizing our happiness because you do not want to become Alpha is very telling.”

“This is not about me.”

I rubbed my temples and walked to the minibar in my living room. I needed a drink, I was getting a headache from all the back and forth with my wolf. I knew he was talking under the influence of emotions.

“You know damn well it is, Dimitri. Spoiled little boy doesn’t want the responsibility of becoming Alpha.”

I hit the glass I was holding against the counter top so hard I was surprised it did not break. “Enough Adrik. Or I will stop communication with you.”

I knew that was the wrong thing to say when my wolf chuckled. “No need,” he said, then he disappeared. I closed my eyes for a bit in frustration. Then I picked up a bottle of scotch and poured it into the glass.

I downed the liquor in one go and poured another one. In times like this, I hated that I was a wolf. The alcohol did nothing for me, except burn my throat as it went down. I picked the glass up and walked back to the sitting area.

Although there was nothing funny, I chuckled as I sat. My wolf wanted nothing to do with me and my mate hated me. And the worst part of it all was that I actually understood them. In a bid to push my mate away, I had alienated my wolf. I wanted to regret my actions but I knew there was no point. Getting close to Willow would have been a terrible mistake.

I did not even know how the hell I had lasted this long without claiming her—and this was us on bad terms. If I had tried to be sweet with her, I know I would have folded in no time. That was a fact. There was nothing else I could have done that would not have led me to the one thing I was avoiding. The one thing I had been avoiding all my life: becoming Alpha.

Adrik could talk about how selfish it was. But we both knew that was not the reason. I knew his words had been said because of the pressure and emotions but I had to admit that they still stung. I was closer to my wolf than to my brother, and he knew everything about me. It was killing me how estranged we were becoming. And the worst part was, I only had my own self to blame.

I downed the drink in my hand then I set the glass on the coffee table and leaned forward. Adrik acting up towards me made no sense. I was the one with all the physical contact with Willow. I was the one who had to stare into her soft brown eyes and harden my heart just so I would not be tempted to claim her. I was the one who saw her soft curves and fought with everything in me not to blurt out that she was mine.

I looked at the pain I was causing her every single time she looked at me in resentment. And he damn well knew this. I did not even want to get into the fact that it seemed she was with someone else now, and that in my desperation to make things right, I had pushed her away for good. No. The only thing I was hearing was how much of a spoiled selfish brat I was.

My phone ringing took me out of my bitter reverie. I picked it up and looked at it. There was a +7 code so it just let me know that whoever was calling was doing so from home. I battled with myself. The last thing I needed was more news that was going to make things even worse for me. But I also could not just ignore the call. What if my brother needed me?

“Rustanov,” I said gravely, after I picked the call.

“Dimitri, good. You answered.” It was Vladimir, my brother. To anybody else, he would have sounded normal. But I heard the little note of panic in his voice.

I did not bother with the niceties. “What happened brother?” I asked immediately.

“Is there anything you wish to tell me?” Vladimir asked, ignoring my question.

I knew exactly what he was asking. I knew he wanted to know if I had found my mate. But I acted daft. “If there was anything I needed to tell you, then I would have called you.”

“Are you sure, brother?” he asked.

My brother and I had always been close. And even though we were continents and miles apart, the bond had remained. I had never lied to him. This was the first time. Vladimir was unselfish enough that if I mentioned one thing about my mate, he would ask me to stop the entire charade and come back home.

“I am. But that is not what you called to tell me. What happened?”

Vladimir let out a deep sigh. I did not need anyone to tell me. Whatever he was about to say was brutal. I made sure to listen carefully with no interruptions.

“Brother, I found my mate,” he said finally.

After I heard the words, my first instinct was to pump my fist in the air joyfully. But the grave note in his voice held me back. Vladimir had been looking to find his mate for so long. It did not make any sense that he sounded so morose when announcing this.

“What is the matter?”

“She is human.”

I frowned at my brother’s answer. The human species had never bothered him. From what I knew, Vladimir just wanted his mate, species be damned.

“What does that have to do with anything, brother?” I asked after a short pause.

I did not know what Vladimir was about to say. But I just knew it was going to shatter the entire dynamic of my day.

“I did not know your mate being human was a dealbreaker. Tell me more, brother. Why do you sound like this is not a happy occasion?”

“Because it is not, okay? It’s fucking not! My mate being human will never bother me. You know this.”

I did not take his tone to heart. Instead, it worried me. Vladimir was the more composed one, the one who never lost his temper. I had always been impulsive and I had lost my temper quite a lot over the years. It was always surprising seeing Vladimir like this. Surprising and worrying.

“I know this. Which is why I want to know what exactly is going on. Is she married? With kids? Doesn’t believe that we exist? Or is she flat out scared of you?”

Vladimir laughed but I could hear the pain in his voice. “I wish it was any of this, brother. Then maybe I would have been able to live with myself better.”

“What’s wrong?” I asked quietly.

“My mate is sick, little brother. She’s sick.”

My brow furrowed. We were werewolves. These were not the kind of issues that plagued us. A sick mate had never put a damper on anybody’s mood. The mate bond was enough to heal a human mate and “bring” them back.

“When has that ever been an issue?”

“You know what, brother? That’s the exact same thing I thought. A trip to the hospital and I got her scent. Followed it to see the most beautiful woman I have ever set my eyes on. She looked so frail and I could barely hear her heartbeat. She is hanging on to life by a few fragile strings. I was ecstatic, of course. You know I have been looking for my mate for so long. And I was determined. Nothing would stop me. Or so I thought.”

Vladimir went silent for a while. I did not push or prod. I just listened.

“I went straight to Ilya who works at the hospital. She has been fighting cancer for the last three years. Has done about a thousand rounds of chemo. She was moved to Russia a month ago. Doctors gave her two months to live and she wanted to die close to her family. Of course none of this stopped me. I was happy. I had found my mate and it didn’t matter that she had cancer. The mate bond would heal her, right? Wrong.”

He spat the last word out so bitterly that I actually winced. “Do you know what bloody Ilya told me? She was too weak to withstand a transformation. Her body had already given up. And no matter what we did, she was going to die anyway. I was willing to try, brother. You don’t fall on a gold ring and throw it away because it is too dirty. I was willing to give my blood to her to speed up the recovery process.”

Another pause. I did not even think I was ready for whatever Vladimir was going to tell me. “What happened, Vlad?” I prompted softly.

“There is nothing I can do, Dimitri. Absolutely nothing. I found my mate and I am going to have to watch her die in front of my own eyes. I have never felt so bloody helpless in my entire life.”

I opened my mouth to answer but Vladimir started talking again. “The prophecy was right, Dimitri. We need to stop doubting the Goddess. I’ll call you with updates. I would appreciate it if you came as soon as possible.”

Vladimir did not leave me the chance to say anything else. He hung up. I stayed with my phone on my ear for a few seconds before I pulled it away and flung it. “Fuck.”

I had tried to cheat the goddess. And it was coming back to bite me in the ass.