Chapter Eleven

Dimitri’s POV.

I smelled her even before she came into the room. When she knocked, I closed my eyes for a short while. Then I opened them when she got into the office. There was a nervous expression on her face, but she managed to smile. At the point where I was, it was not Adrik that was controlling me anymore. I wanted to take Willow into my arms and just take in her scent.

I did not have that privilege.

“Hi, sir… Dimitri,” she corrected herself, I noticed with some satisfaction. I tried not to let it show on my face a little too much. “I’ll be heading off now. I just wanted to know if you needed anything else from me.”

Inasmuch as I wanted to invent a task just so I could get her to stay with me, I shook my head. Willow might not know it, but I was on a redeeming streak. I knew that I would have to tell her the truth sooner rather than later. And I wanted her to hate me a little less than she did right now. There was no point pushing her away. After all, Vlad had found his mate.

“No, Willow. That would be all. You can leave,” I told her, inclining my head.

Willow nodded with a little smile. “Okay s-Dimitri! Good bye, and have a nice evening.”

It was a perfunctory greeting, but for some reason, it really warmed my heart. Willow hardly ever told me to have a good evening. I hoped the goddess gave me some more time to soften her even more to the idea of us being together. So that, when I told her everything about us being mates, it was not going to seem like too foreign a concept.

“Thank you, Willow. Have a great one yourself.”

“See you tomorrow!”

To her enthusiastic greeting, I just nodded. But I knew it was a very good sign. Willow was never excited about coming to work. And I knew just how messed up that was. I also knew it was mostly my fault and I had no one else to blame. But it was very heartwarming knowing that she was no longer terrified about being in the same space like me.

When Willow left, it seemed like she had carried my motivation to do anything along. I stood and walked about the office recklessly. I was running out of time, and my body was well aware. My wolf had tried to warn me, but I was stubborn. I knew Adrik was right now. I had wasted so much time that we did not have, and it had messed up everything.

After a few minutes of walking aimlessly, I picked up the phone and called Alexei, my closest friend. I almost let out a sigh of relief when he finally picked. I had not told him anything about Willow being my mate. He had acted suspicious a few times, but I had just shut it down. And even though he did not completely believe me, he had never pushed.

“Brother,” he answered as soon as he picked the call.

“Are you up for some drinks now?” I asked him without any preamble.

“You know I’m always up,” Alexei drawled lazily. “Give me twenty minutes. Your place?”

“Yes,” I answered shortly. Twenty minutes was enough time for me to get home.

“Okay,” Alexei said, then he hung up.

After taking another deep breath, I walked out of my office and headed downstairs. I had a meeting the next day, and I was supposed to be preparing for it. But with how precarious the future of everything seemed, there was absolutely no way I could stay in a confined office when almost everything else was at stake. Also, preparing for the meeting meant staying in a confined space with Willow for hours. I had zero self control and that was definitely going to end up a disaster.

I finally reached home, and after taking a short shower, I started mixing the drinks. I was aiming for a little buzz. So, I dropped some wolf’s bane into the cognac decanter. Alexei was never against a good buzz. In fact, he was always trying to get me to consume more wolf’s bane. He was convinced it would loosen me up.

I took a first sip of my drink just in time for Alexei to get in. He grinned and walked towards me, then he stopped in his tracks suddenly. I tipped my head, wondering what the hell had taken over the man. He stared at me for a short while and I raised my brow at him.

“Okay, first, Dimitri why the fuck are you drinking wolf’s bane so fast? And since when do you drink wolf’s bane? Secondly, you look even grumpier than usual, which I did not think was possible. What’s got your panties in a twist?”

I shook my head at the man’s words. Alexei and I had grown up together. We had met our wolves at almost the same time, and he had been the brother Vladimir never was to me. Vlad was always serious, even more than I was now, and it had been made clear that he needed to be mature and responsible because the future of the pack lay at his feet. Although my brother and I were close, there were some things I did not think I would ever share with him, not as I did with Alexei.

When I mentioned coming to the United States for my university education, Alexei came along with me. Although we had branched out completely from college, we had remained close. And that is why the entire mate thing did not make any sense and was going to shock him.

“Can you just get a drink and sit?” I asked him quietly.

Alexei was a joker. And most times I appreciated his ability to joke at anything. I was not sure about that right now. I knew it was going to release the tension and maybe make things seem a little less serious. But I was so much on edge that I felt like I could not function. And I needed all of this pent up energy to be able to do anything meaningful about my mate and how our relationship was going to progress.

“Okay, sounds like this one is going to be a crazy one,” Alexei remarked and I almost burst out laughing. He did not even know the half of it.

I watched as Alexei poured himself a drink, then I took another swig of my laced cognac. I was not entirely sure how to explain the effect that wolf’s bane had on my system. In higher percentages, it was actually dangerous for all wolves, and playing with it could lead to serious consequences. However, this was diluted and safe for consumption.

It weakened the body, I guessed that was the same thing alcohol did to humans. There was this light feeling that came along with drinking wolf’s bane. I could not blame anybody that was addicted to it. Being in control all the time was exhausting.

Alexei did not ask anything. That was one of the reasons why I felt very comfortable talking to him. There was no way he would ever push me into saying something when I was not ready. He listened and gave me logical advice, and he knew when and when not to ask.

“I’m losing my wolf,” I started off on a neutral topic. It was going to lead up anyways.

“Adrik? What’s happening to him?” Alexei asked, worry coloring his tone. “Do you need to go back home?”

Sometimes our wolves grew restless about this place, and it was normal. We were in California, and there was no avoiding the heat in this place. We had grown up in the cold, played around in the snow and hunted during blizzards. Being here sometimes put our wolves in some kind of withdrawal. I wished that was the only problem I was having with Adrik. That much was very fixable.

“I wish the problem was as simple as that,” I said with a chuckle. Alexei was staring at me with a thoughtful look on his face. I knew he had an inkling of where this was going.

“Is it about your mate?” he asked. I would always be amazed at how insightful he truly was. It was one of the reasons why I enjoyed talking to him. And one of the reasons why I hated talking to him. He knew too damn much.

“Bullseye, brother,” I said, taking another swig of my drink. “Bullseye”

Alexei stared at me as he sipped at his drink. I started walking around the room, unable to stay still. I probably looked crazy. I could not count the number of times I had run my hands through my wet hair. It was probably sticking up in every direction.

“Willow is my mate,” I finally blurted out. I did not know how else to go about it. There was no point even trying to explain so much. That sentence represented everything about my dilemma.

“Willow? Your personal assistant?” my friend asked. His blue eyes were narrowed and I knew there was a lot going in there.

“Who else?” I asked wryly with a twist of my lips. I was about to take another swig of the cognac then I thought against it and put the glass on the bar.

“How long have you known?”

“From the moment I saw her.”

“So what the fuck was all of that drama?” There was a serious note in Alexei’s voice.

“Vladimir,” I said tiredly, then I walked to one of the couches and sat in it. There was a confused expression on Alexei’s face but he followed me to the sitting area and took a seat as well.

“What does Vladimir have to do with you finding your mate?”

“Everything, Alex. Everything. I still haven’t claimed her. She doesn’t even know what we are, and she will probably freak out the moment I tell her. I have been an asshole to her and there is a huge part of her that probably still hates me.”

“What do you mean you haven’t claimed her? It’s been months!”

“Don’t you think I know it?” I roared at my friend then I took a deep breath. There was no point screaming at him. He was not the cause of any of what was happening to me. And he was not the reason why I had not claimed my mate.

“Vladimir has always wanted to be Alpha. The last thing I was going to do was take that dream away from him,” I told Alexei when I was finally calm enough.

He scoffed. “So, you’ve not claimed your mate for three months now because you do not want to be Alpha and you’re trying to put the blame on your brother. You’re being fucking selfish. Did you stop to think one minute how your wolf feels? Or how do you think your mate will take it when she learns about you not telling her anything about the mate bond? Because you do not want to be Alpha?”

“It’s not about me,” I said tightly.

“Yeah, it’s about Vlad, right? Come off it, man. And stop fucking lying to yourself. Do right by your mate and tell her the truth.”

“Vladimir found his mate,” I tell him.

“Good. This is the moment you’ve been waiting for, so go for it.”

I understood why Alexei was acting like this. His mate had died when we were still teenagers. And I know it sounded incredulous that I had found mine and I did not want to claim her.

Before I could explain myself any further, my phone rang. It was Vladimir. I did not need to pick up the phone. I already knew what he was about to announce to me. I picked it anyway.

“Brother,” I said.

“She’s dead,” Vladimir said immediately.

“I’ll be there in two days.”

Vladimir grunted, then he hung up. Alexei raised a brow at me.

“Vlad’s mate is dead. I guess it’s time,” I said, smiling even though there was no humor behind the gesture.

“I guess it is,” Alexei echoed.

Maybe they were right. And I knew how incredibly selfish it sounded. Vladimir’s words had felt like a fucking sentence, a noose around my neck that I could not escape.