Chapter 81 81. The Moment You Realize
"Men like Lucien use pretty things like you to get their dicks wet and move on to the next available cunt."
Ronan's words from months ago echoed in my skull as I watched the screen. Jessica nodded, laughing and crying at once. Lucien stood, slipped the ring on her finger. She threw her arms around him.
They kissed.
The timestamp in the corner: LIVE.
My legs gave out. My knees slammed against the stone.
"Who did you think you were?" Ronan's voice floated above me, amused, cruel. "Thinking a man like Lucien Hayes would settle for you? A nobody with nothing to her name except the identity you got from latching onto him like a leech."
I couldn't breathe. Couldn't bring myself to keep watching the screen.
"You were temporary pleasure, Camila. A warm body to pass the time. Did you really think he'd choose you? You told him about your past, about stabbing a man, about your mother selling you, and you thought he'd still want you?" Ronan laughed. "You were stupid enough to believe he loved you."
The words burrowed into my chest like knives. I clutched at the fabric of my shirt, trying to ease the pain, but it did nothing to it.
His hand gripped my hair, yanking my head up to face the screen again.
"Look at him. That's the real Lucien Hayes."
On screen, Lucien stood rigid in his tuxedo. His face had a thin smile, while Jessica beamed at the cameras and flashed her ring.
"I bet he didn't tell you Don handed Elysium over to him already, did he? Sixty billion dollars. But there's a catch." Ronan's breath was hot against my ear. "He has to marry someone from a pre-approved list to claim it. Jessica Bloom. Catherine Moretti. Those were his only options. And your name? No where near it."
I fell my head.
"Look up you bitch!" He forced my head back up. "He had to choose between you or sixty billion dollars, and he made his choice. That's the real Lucien Hayes. Greedy. Ruthless, not romantic. Willing to sacrifice anything for power."
"Shut up." But the words were weak.
"He fucked you already, didn't he? Made you feel special. Made you believe you mattered." Ronan's smile widened. "Did he make you come? Did he whisper sweet things in your ear while he used your body?"
Last night flooded back. Lucien's hands on my skin. His voice in my ear.
'I love you.' The way he'd held me after, like I was something precious. The desperation when he'd asked me to stay.
'I haven't slept in days.'
'Don't leave me.'
He'd known. He'd known what he was about to do and he'd taken me anyway, before he threw me away. Tears started falling. I couldn't stop them.
"There it is." Ronan released my hair. "The moment you realize you were nothing but a fool."
I pushed to my feet, unsteady, the world tilting around me. The phone, Maya, the mission... none of it mattered anymore. I turned toward the door.
"Wait, where are you going?" Ronan called after me, laughter in his voice. "Didn't you come here to fight me? Are you giving up already? Weakling. I warned you about men like him. But you didn't listen."
His words followed me down the hall, mixing with Lucien's from last night.
'You're mine, Camila. Always.'
Lies. All of it lies.
I stumbled through the front door, down the steps, past the gate. Maya was there, catching me as my legs buckled again.
"Cami. Oh god, Cami, I'm so sorry. I saw it. I was listening. I saw the news." Her arms wrapped around me as we sank to the ground together.
I sobbed against her shoulder while she rocked me.
"He's not worth it," she whispered. "He's not worth your tears."
But he was. That was the problem. He was worth everything and I'd given him everything and he'd chosen money.
"I'm so stupid," I choked out between sobs. "I'm so fucking stupid, Maya."
"No. He's the stupid one."
We sat there on the sidewalk until my tears ran dry, until I had nothing left. Then Maya helped me into the car.
The drive home was a blur. Last night replayed until the edges twisted, and suddenly I was laughing. Hysterical, broken laughter that turned back into crying.
"He made me touch myself," the words tumbled out. "Last night. He made me put my hand where his was and taught me how to pleasure myself while he watched." I laughed again. "He held and taught me like I was some precious thing he was introducing to pleasure."
"Cami..."
"And I believed him. I believed every word. Every touch. Every time he said he loved me." More laughter, more tears. "God, Maya, he spanked me and I liked it. He commanded me and I obeyed. I gave him everything."
Maya's hand found mine, squeezing tight.
When we got home, I went straight to the bathroom and turned the shower on scalding hot. Stood under the spray until my skin turned red, trying to wash away his touch, his scent, the memory of his body against mine.
"You were just a weapon aimed at Lucien to make him weak, not a spy." Ronan's words from that night in his basement. I'd been a weapon all along. Ronan had used me. And somehow, Lucien had too.
Or had he?
My mind spiraled. Every moment with Lucien replayed. Every touch, every word, every time he'd looked at me like I mattered. Had any of it been real? Or had I just been convenient? A distraction while he figured out how to claim his inheritance?
Those words felt real. His desperation felt real.
But so did that kiss with Jessica on screen.
I screamed. The raw, primal sound echoed off the bathroom tiles. When I finally got out wrapped in a towel, I saw my phone screen lit up. One missed call from Lucien.
I blocked his number without listening to the voicemail. Then I opened my email and typed two messages.
The first to Hayes Corp HR:
"Please accept this as my formal resignation, effective immediately. Thank you for the opportunity." I hadn't been to work in a while, and since I was still getting paid thanks to Lucien, it was only right to resign formally.
The second to Miranda Stone:
"Ms. Stone, I will no longer be requiring your services for my case. I'll be seeking new legal representation. Thank you for your time."
I hit send on both before I could second-guess myself. I crawled into bed, still damp from the shower, and curled into a ball.
Sleep wouldn't come. I just lay there, staring at nothing, feeling nothing, until dawn broke through the curtains.
Maya's voice broke my empty thoughts. "Cami. Cami, wake up."
I opened my eyes. She stood in the doorway, her expression stricken.
"He's here. Lucien's at the door."