Chapter 82
Evelyn was falling for it again.
She didn’t know why she had extended the invitation to him instead of just coming clean to her parents. Now he was taking the role of devoted boyfriend too far. He’d joined in and fit in so easily because that was what he did. He could charm the socks off anyone.
And she knew this so why was she falling for it again?
Just because they’d danced for the first time? Because he’d looked so vulnerable as if for a change they were having a real conversation?
But he had done the same when he’d made her sign the contract. He was good at pretending to be what she wanted. Good at pulling at her heartstrings and making her forget who he was under all of that.
She knew her parents would realise she had lied to them now because of the way she had left, but she couldn’t stand being in the same house with him any longer. Once he was gone, she would go back and apologise to her parents. She would tell them everything. Her father was right not to trust Roman.
Then maybe she would finally start to heal without all the lies hanging over her. A fresh start. Without Roman.
So many weeks after his betrayal it still hurt to think like that.
It didn’t take long to drive to the little council house she had been living in when she was pretending to be in London with Roman. That was another thing she felt guilty about. If that house that Roman bought was really her parents they would have to give this one up for someone else who needed it. She wasn’t supposed to be using it to hide away from her problems.
She kicked her shoes off and threw her coat over the stair rail before she walked through to the kitchen to put the heating on. Then she grabbed a bottle of wine to drown in and went to drop herself onto the one seat in the lounge. The hospital bed was still there and would need to be returned as well. So many things to do but she was still preoccupied with trying to get her life back on track first.
There was a knock on the door as she drank a sip of the wine straight from the bottle. She tensed. Surely he hadn’t followed her here?
She put the wine down and walked out of the cramped room to go and peek through the door.
And her heart skipped a beat when she saw him. Her first thought was to not answer the door, maybe he would give up and leave.
But this was a conversation they needed to have to finally cut ties for good. So even though her heart was already in pieces, she unlatched the door and then slowly opened it.
Roman held her gaze, once again she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. The man who had been laughing all night had been replaced by this unsmiling one.
“Can we talk?” he asked.
She left the door open and walked back into the lounge to sit down. When Roman followed and stopped at the doorway she saw the way he looked around the room. She could see it through his eyes. It was cramped and had been completely unsuitable for her father’s needs, but that was how they had lived when he’d snatched the house from them the first time.
“What do you need to say, Roman? I think it’s better we do this quickly so I can go back to my family.”
He walked in and sat next to her.
“I wanted to find out what I did wrong. Why did you run away like that?”
“You were playing your part too well. I guess deception comes easy to you,” she said bitterly as she sipped her wine again.
She would have offered him a drink but she didn’t want him there too long.
“I wasn’t being deceptive, Eve. Can I call you Eve?”
Everyone else called her Eve by default. It was only Roman who’d always used her full name as if being formal was another way to keep the wall between them to stop her from crossing boundaries.
“Call me whatever you want. It doesn’t matter.”
“I didn’t lie to your parents.”
Something in her snapped. Why did he always do this to her? Why did he always suck her back in with his lies?
"I know you lied because that's what you've done to me from the very beginning. You think that just because I fell in love with you I'll buy all your bullshit. And maybe you’re right because you just have to stroll back into my life and I’m a mess again!” she shouted. “You take advantage of my feelings and I become one of those women who continuously forgive their partners and stay in the same vicious cycle. I can’t do it anymore, Roman. I’m done. Please leave.”
She had so much to say but she bit her tongue and stood up without looking at him. He was too close to her. All he had to do was touch her and she’d be dreaming of their happy-ever-after.
But Roman didn’t get up and do what she asked. When she got the courage to look at him, he was looking down at the old carpet as if it was more interesting than what she’d just said.
“The first time you left me I got so angry because I was already attached to you but didn’t want to admit it,” he stated calmly. “I did use your feelings against you because I already knew even before you told me. But I found you with Brendan and my jealousy just ate me up. I wanted to prove to you that I was better than him. But you kept seeing him. I followed you once. Not my proudest moment but I did. I saw you two happy together. I saw you laughing with him, something you never did with me.”
Roman still hadn’t looked at her but she could hear his voice trembling even though he still looked perfectly composed on the outside.
“So I did all those things to try to keep you with me. To keep him away.”
Her knees started trembling. What was this? A confession of all the things he had done wrong?
“The second time you left me after I saw you with him and then at the club... I couldn’t leave my bed for a long time.”
Her legs couldn’t hold her up anymore. She sat back down and held her breath, not daring to hope for anything.
“I was broken and angry. I kept asking myself why you couldn’t pick me. But I knew I hadn’t given you any reason to stay. So I came up with another stupid plan. And I thought this one would work because I was going to tell you everything and I thought you would still love me once you knew how I felt. It was never just sex between us.”
Stupid hope flared in her chest against her wishes.
“The third time you left me, I thought I was going to die. And I told myself I had to let you go because I’m an asshole and you deserve better. How could I keep hurting you like that? I still see your face the day you left and it cuts me up inside.”
Roman finally looked into her eyes. And she drowned in them.
“I was going to let you go, Eve. I really was. But I can’t. Because even though I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, I know I’m in love with you.”