Chapter 101 A FAREWELL
POV: ELISABETH
My body still throbbed with pain, echoing the overwhelming impact of what had happened. The relief of knowing Greg was alive, fighting to recover, barely dissipated the anguish consuming me. As I put on the black mourning clothes, my reflection in the mirror revealed a profound sadness, where the eyes of that little girl who had lost her parents so long ago resurfaced in my gaze. My only family, my entire world, and my best friend, mother, and confidante had left without me being there to comfort her in her most frightening moment. The guilt for not being by her side tore at my heart. The most important person in my life was taken from me, leaving an unbearable void, an overwhelming loneliness. Then I felt his warm hands on my hips and his gentle kiss on the top of my head, a gesture of comfort amidst the abyss of loss.
“Are you okay?” Patrick looked at my reflection in the mirror with understanding. “I'm so sorry for your loss, Lis.”
“So am I...” I bit my trembling lips, trying to hold back the tears, but a solitary drop escaped, trickling down the corner of my eye.
Patrick turned me around, gently wiping it away, kissing each eye, and sighing deeply.
“I wish I could take all this pain from you so you wouldn't feel anything anymore...” he said, cradling my face in his hands. “I...”
“I know, Patrick,” I whispered in response, placing a soft kiss on his lips.
“Ready?” He looked at me carefully, and I shook my head.
“Who would be ready to bury their grandmother?” My eyes filled with tears. “But she deserves a dignified farewell; at least there, I will be by her side.”
“You never left her side; you were always in her heart, Elisabeth. Don't punish yourself for this.” Patrick pulled me into a tight, loving, protective embrace. His support was essential at that moment.
We headed to the cemetery where my parents had been buried; my grandmother would rest beside her beloved daughter and son-in-law, whom she also considered a son. I stopped before approaching the headstone, my heart in my throat as if it would jump out of my chest. My legs wanting to give way, my stomach churning, sweating cold with the fear of taking another step forward, and realizing that this would indeed be goodbye.
“I can't...” I tried to swallow the lump in my devastated throat. “No, I can't say goodbye to my grandma... How can I say that? We'll never have our afternoon teas or our talks about boys, I'll never get her wise advice and her scoldings for my own good... Patrick, I'll never have her again...”
My legs buckled, and he supported me, lifting me in his arms, walking me close to the coffin, and setting me gently on the ground. I kept my face buried in his chest, too scared to turn around.
“Lis... Saying goodbye is incredibly painful, but if you don't, your regret will haunt you forever. You wouldn't bear not telling her everything you feel.” Rubbing my back, Patrick spoke softly, patiently, and warmly. “Tell your grandma everything you feel; let her know you'll be okay.”
I sobbed again, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. I placed my hands on Patrick's chest, slowly raising my eyes to meet his, which mirrored mine in solidarity. Furthermore, I turned to see her lying lifeless in the coffin, tears streaming down like waterfalls. The pain of loss and the weight of it were tremendously unbearable. I hugged the coffin, stroked her forehead, and began to speak:
“Grandma, thank you for everything—for being my shelter and my safety. For taking me in when no one else wanted to, for playing the roles of father, mother, and grandmother. You will always be my best friend, my best person, and the greatest love of my life.” Sobbing, I kissed her forehead, stroking her hair. “I'm so sorry for failing you, for being weak and naive, for being the one to blame.”
I bit my lips hard, crying even more. Patrick hugged me from behind, burying his nose in my neck and whispering in my ear:
“You are not to blame, please don't say that anymore,” he murmured lovingly.
“Grandma, I will be okay because you raised me strong and fearless. I won't be alone.” I squeezed Patrick's hands that were around my waist. “I love you beyond life. May God embrace your kind soul, and may you make Him laugh as much as you made me, my queen. Rest in peace.”
I stopped speaking, choked with sadness, feeling broken inside. With a gentle nod to Patrick, he signaled the time to close the coffin and lower it. My eyes were fixed; I was unable to believe this was a goodbye.
Months later, I stood in front of the mirror, finishing getting ready, unable to believe that today I would become his wife. I sighed sadly, wishing my grandmother could see how well I was doing now and how loved and respected I was, just as we had dreamed. A knock on the door brought me out of my trance:
“Come in,” I said, still looking at myself in the mirror. I saw a woman with skin so fair it looked like porcelain, highlighted by green eyes that sparkled with emotion. My short black hair was styled simply but elegantly. I was wearing a stunning wedding dress made of a light and flowing fabric that seemed to float around me. The bodice was fitted, accentuating my silhouette, and the skirt was wide with several layers of fabric that moved softly with each step I took. The top was adorned with delicate embroidery and pearls, while the skirt had lace details that added a touch of sophistication.
“You look beautiful, Mrs. Elisabeth,” Greg said, entering the room smiling.
“My grandma would say I look like a real princess.” I smiled sadly, letting a stubborn tear escape.
“She will see you from wherever she is, and I'm sure she's proud of the beautiful woman you've become,” he said kindly.
“Yes, today is not a day to be sad.” I sighed, widening my smile. “Why did you come here? Weren't we supposed to meet in the car?”
“I came to check if you were okay and to see if you weren't planning to run away from the wedding,” Greg laughed, amused. “There's still time!”