Chapter 131 Going home

Chapter 131 Going home
Casey’s POV

We stayed at the restaurant longer than I expected. The meal arrived, and for the first time since I had walked through the Sterling building that morning, I actually ate.

Victoria noticed but she didn't comment she simply smiled every time I took another bite. It was such a small thing but I noticed. She noticed everything from when I pushed my glass aside, she moved it closer and when I looked cold, she asked if the air conditioner was bothering me and when I laughed at something Alexander said, she smiled as though she'd been given a gift.

I wasn't used to being watched with affection it made me nervous. It also made something inside me ache.

Eventually, our plates were cleared and the conversation became quieter.

Victoria looked at me. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

She hesitated. "Do you have somewhere you need to be tonight?"

I shook my head. "Not really."

She looked at Alexander and then back at me. "Would you..." Her voice caught and she tried again. "Would you have dinner with us tonight?"

I stared at her. "Tonight?"

She nodded. "At our house."

My heart began beating faster. "Our house."

"Yes." She looked almost embarrassed. "I know it's a lot."

"It is."

She gave a small, nervous smile. "But I don't want you to think you have to say yes because we're your parents."

"I know."

"You can say no." She continued.

I looked at her. "Would you be upset?"

She swallowed. "I'd be disappointed." Then she smiled gently. "But I'd understand."

That answer made my chest tighten. She wasn't demanding anything and she wasn't trying to claim me. She was simply asking. I looked at Alexander. He didn't speak he waited just like he'd promised.

I looked back at Victoria. "I'll come."

Her eyes immediately filled with tears. "Really?"

I nodded. "Really."

She reached across the table and took my hand. "Thank you."

I smiled. "You don't have to thank me."

"I do." She squeezed my fingers. "Because tonight will be the first time I get to sit at a table with my daughter."

My throat tightened and I looked down. "Okay."

Alexander smiled. "I think your mother has been planning this dinner since the moment she walked through the door."

Victoria gave him a look. "I have not."

"You have." He argued back.

"I haven't."

"You've already started planning the menu."

She looked at me. "Well..."

I laughed. "Apparently you really do order too much food."

She laughed. "I've waited twenty-two years. I'm allowed." The three of us laughed together and it felt strange, wonderful, terrifying and real.

When we finally left the restaurant, Victoria walked beside me. Alexander stayed on my other side and I looked between them. It was the first time we'd walked together. Victoria reached for my hand. She hesitated for only a second before taking it and I let her.

Her fingers closed gently around mine. She looked down at our hands and her eyes filled again. "I've wanted to hold your hand since you were born."

I swallowed. "I know."

"I don't remember what your tiny fingers felt like anymore." Her voice cracked. "But I remember holding them."

I looked at her. "You remember?"

"Every detail I can." She squeezed my hand. "I remember your little hand wrapping around my finger."

My eyes filled. "Mom..." The word slipped out before I could stop it. Victoria froze and so did I. Alexander stopped walking but nobody spoke.

Victoria's lips parted and her eyes filled instantly. I didn't know why I'd said it. Maybe because she'd looked so hopeful or maybe because somewhere inside me, the word had been waiting twenty-two years.

She covered her mouth and a sob escaped her. "I'm sorry."

I stepped closer. "Don't."

She shook her head. "You called me—"

"I know."

She was crying now and I was too. "I didn't mean—"

"Don't take it back." Her voice broke. "Please don't take it back."

I smiled through my tears. "I'm not."

She wrapped her arms around me again and this time, I didn't hesitate. I held her tightly as she cried against my shoulder. I cried against hers.

Alexander stood beside us, wiping tears from his face. Victoria pulled away after a moment and she cupped my cheeks. "You don't know what that means to me."

"I think I do."

She kissed my forehead. The gesture was so gentle that my eyes closed. For twenty-two years, I had wondered what my mother would be like. I had wondered whether she would have loved me and whether she would have wanted me and whether she would have held me. Now I knew. She had and she did and she was.

Alexander stepped closer. "Should we go home?"

Victoria looked at me. "Our home."

I smiled. "Okay."

She took my hand again and Alexander walked on my other side. As we headed toward the car, I realized something. I wasn't walking toward a house belonging to strangers. I was walking toward the home of two people who had spent twenty-two years believing they had lost me.

I didn't know what tonight would be like and I didn't know what questions would be asked and I didn't know how much of my past I was ready to tell them but I knew one thing for the first time in my life, I was going to sit at a dinner table with my parents and when Victoria looked at me, I no longer had to wonder whether she wanted me there.

She had asked me to come and I had said yes.