Chapter 75 Erased
ʻPain wasn’t the right word. The pain was too small. Too human. This was something else. Something that reached into my mind and tore pieces away.
The chemical burned through my bloodstream. Found my brain. Started reshaping. Rewriting. Erasing.
Fight it, my wolf snarled. Don’t let them take us.
I tried. Pushed back against the invasion. But the drug was designed for this. Designed to break Moonsilver wolves. To override our natural resistance.
Memories started flickering. Fading. My childhood with Clara. Meeting Lycian. Our wedding. Everything that made me who I was. Disappearing like smoke.
No. Not smoke. Being locked away. Buried deep where I couldn’t reach. Couldn’t access. I couldn't remember who I was.
Dr. Rivera’s face swam above me. Blurry. Distant. “Don’t fight it. Fighting makes it hurt more. Just let go. Let us remake you into something better. Something perfect.”
Better. The word echoed. Twisted. Became something else. Obedient. Controlled. Theirs.
Through the pain, through the fog, I felt the bond. Lycian. Distant but present. His panic. His rage. His desperate need to reach me.
Hold on, his voice filled my head. Faint. Strained. I’m coming. Just hold on.
But holding on was getting harder. The drug was winning. Piece by piece. Memory by memory. Taking everything I was.
The door exploded inward.
Lycian’s gray wolf crashed through. Massive. Furious. Unstoppable. He tore into the scientists. Teeth and claws. No mercy. No hesitation.
Dr. Rivera ran. Didn’t even try to fight. Just fled. Leaving me strapped to the chair. Leaving the machines running. Leaving the drug to finish its work.
Lycian shifted back. His hands worked the restraints. Frantic. Shaking. “Stay with me. Please stay with me.”
“Lycian.” My voice was wrong. Slurred. Distant. “Can’t. It’s too strong.”
“You can. You’re stronger than any drug. Stronger than their programming.” He freed my arms. Moved to my legs. “I’ve got you. I’m here. We’re leaving.”
The restraints fell away. He lifted me. Cradled against his chest. His heart was pounding under my ear. Fast. Terrified. Alive.
Behind us, more wolves appeared. Elena. Damien. Cade. The pack. Fighting through Collective forces. Clearing a path.
“Clara,” I managed. “They’re going to kill her.”
“Damien’s got her. She’s alive. Stable.” Lycian ran. Every step is jarring. Painful. “We’re all getting out. Together.”
The facility was in chaos. Alarms screaming. Wolves fighting. Scientists fleeing. Everything was burning as the pack destroyed the equipment. Erased data. Eliminated evidence.
We reached the elevator. Damien was there. Clara in his arms. Unconscious but breathing. Alive.
“Get in,” Elena barked. Holding off three Collective wolves. Her black wolf is vicious. Efficient. “I’ll hold them.”
“We don’t leave anyone,” Lycian said. “That includes you.”
She killed the last wolf. Shifted back. Jumped into the elevator as the doors closed. “Sentimental. But appreciated.”
We rose. Up through the levels. Toward escape. Toward freedom.
But the drug was still working. Still burning through my mind. Taking more memories. More pieces of who I was.
I looked at Lycian. His face was familiar but distant. Like looking at someone through frosted glass. “Who are you?”
His expression cracked. Pain. Grief. Terror. “I’m your mate. Your husband. The person who loves you more than anything.” His hand cupped my face. “You know me. You have to know me.”
“I don’t. I can’t remember.” Tears leaked from my eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. This isn’t your fault.” He pulled me closer. “We’ll fix this. Reverse the drug. Get your memories back. All of them.”
“What if we can’t? What if I’m broken forever?”
“Then I’ll love the person you become. And I’ll spend every day trying to help you remember the person you were.” His forehead pressed to mine. “You’re not losing me. Not today. Not ever.”
The elevator reached the surface. Doors opened to the night air. Cold. Clean. Free.
The pack vehicles were running. Engines loud. Ready to flee.
We piled in. Lycian is still holding me. Still refusing to let go. Clara was placed gently in the back. Dr. Rivera is nowhere in sight. Escaped. Gone.
“Drive,” Lycian ordered. “Get us out of here before reinforcements arrive.”
The vehicles peeled out. Gravel spraying. Distance growing between us and the facility. Between us and the nightmare.
I watched through the window as the building grew smaller. Felt something settle inside me. Relief. Freedom. Safety.
But also loss. Because pieces of me were still in that facility. Locked inside my mind where the drug had buried them.
“How much do you remember?” Elena asked quietly from the front seat. Her eyes met mine in the rearview mirror.
“Fragments. Pieces. Nothing complete.” I tried to focus. Tried to grab onto something solid. “I remember pain. Fear. And someone important. But I can’t remember who.”
Lycian’s arms tightened around me. “That’s me. I’m someone important.”
“How do I know? How do I know you’re telling the truth?” Panic rose sharply and overwhelmingly. “What if you’re Collective too? What if this is part of the programming?”
“It’s not. I swear.” He tilted my face up, forcing me to look at him. “You feel this connection between us? That’s the mate bond. It’s real. Permanent. Unbreakable.”
I felt it. A pull. A warmth. Something is tying me to him. But doubt lingered. Was it real, or something the Collective had created to control me?
He’s ours, my wolf said. Clear. Certain. I remember even if you don’t. He’s our mate. Trust me.
I hesitated. I didn’t even know if I could trust myself anymore.
The vehicles drove for hours. Putting distance between us and the facility. Between us and the Collective. Between us and everything that had broken me.
Clara woke around hour three. Confused. Disoriented. But alive.
“Elowen?” She stared at me, eyes searching. “Baby, are you okay?”
“I don’t know.” The truth felt heavy. “Do I know you?”
“I’m your aunt. I raised you. Loved you. Protected you.” Tears filled her eyes. “Do you really not remember me?”
“I remember a woman. Warm. Safe. But I can’t remember her name. I don’t know if that woman is you.”
Clara broke. Sobbing openly. The sound twisted something painful inside my chest even if I didn’t understand why.
“Dr. Rivera injected her with a memory suppression drug,” Elena explained quietly. “It’s designed to bury memories and make the subject easier to reprogram.”
“Can it be reversed?” Clara asked desperately.
“I don’t know yet. I’ll need to analyze her blood. Identify the compound.” Elena paused. “Even if we unlock the memories, they might be damaged. Altered.”
“So I might never be myself again,” I said softly.
“You’ll always be yourself,” Elena said gently. “Just maybe changed.”
We reached the estate as dawn broke. Pink and gold light stretched across the mountains. A new day that felt uncertain and fragile.
The pack helped Clara inside. Helped me inside. Both of us were wounded in different ways.
Lycian never left my side. His hand stayed wrapped around mine like he was anchoring me to something real. “I’m not leaving,” he said quietly. “I’ll be here when you remember. And if you don’t remember, I’ll still be here.”
“Why stay with someone who doesn’t know you?” I asked.
“Because I know you,” he answered simply. “That’s enough.”
Hours passed slowly. Elena worked with medical equipment. Drawing blood. Running tests. Mumbling about neural pathways and chemical compounds. Clara cried softly in the corner. Lycian watched me like I might disappear if he blinked.
Finally, Elena looked up. “I’ve identified the drug. It’s a Collective design. Memory suppressant combined with a suggestion enhancer. It buries your past while making you more receptive to programming.”
“Can you reverse it?” Lycian asked immediately.
“Theoretically, yes. But it requires another drug. One only the Collective manufactures.” She met his eyes. “We’d have to raid another facility to get it.”
“Do it,” Lycian said without hesitation. “Whatever it takes. We get her memories back.”
“Elena, how long do we have?” Clara asked.
“A week. Maybe two,” Elena said. “After that, the neural pathways solidify. The memories could be locked away permanently.”
Lycian turned to me. “What do you want? It’s your choice.”
I didn’t know what I was missing. Didn’t know who I used to be. But I felt the pull of the bond. The connection to this man who looked at me like I was his entire world.
Maybe that feeling alone was worth fighting for.
“Do it,” I said quietly. “Get the drug. Restore my memories. I want to remember who I was.”
“Then we will,” Lycian promised, kissing my hand. “Together. Always together.”
My phone buzzed in my pocket. Still working despite everything.
Unknown number.
Another message. Another threat.
But when I opened it, it wasn’t from the Collective.
It was a video.
Dr. Rivera sat tied to a chair. Beaten. Bleeding. Barely conscious.
Behind her stood someone I didn’t recognize. But something deep inside me stirred with uneasy recognition.
The person spoke calmly. “Hello, Elowen. I’m Thornheart. We met before. But you don’t remember. How tragic.”
The knife pressed against Dr. Rivera’s throat.
“I have your betrayer. The woman who drugged you. Broke you. Come get your revenge. Or I kill her and you lose your only chance at answers.”
An address followed. Another facility. Another trap. Another impossible choice.