Chapter 46 — More Drunken Confessions

Shit. So she guessed it right. Something happened to his mother in that psychiatric facility.

"I'm sorry about your mom." Jessi sat closer to him, unsure of what to do next. Hug him? Apologize for not knowing his mother's condition? She remained beside him, her shock gradually turning into pure sympathy for him. She should've been more vigilant. "Is that why you...have bloodstains on your shirt?"

"Yeah." Jenson sniffled and kept his head down. His left hand clutched the bloodstained sleeve of his sweatshirt as he sat on her small couch. He was still trying to get past the shock, it seemed.

"Did they tell you what happened to her?"

"She's schizophrenic," he murmured as his frown wrinkled his brows and forehead. "Committed suicide." He sighed out loud and covered his flushed face with his palms. "Again."

Again? His mother already tried to kill herself before? Oh dear...

"Third time's a charm." He scoffed and smirked briefly.

"Sorry."

"They tried to revive her. Twice. But I couldn't..." He kept his face away from her gaze, muffling his soft sobs with his hand. "I just...I-I couldn't look at her anymore." He sniveled as his voice faltered. "Just too weak. Tired of living. Suffering like that. I just ran out of the room before they pronounced her dead."

Jessi stayed put while his rueful words held her undivided attention. She waited for him to say more, but her heart already ached at how much pain he was trying to process. It was her first time seeing him this emotional.

He wasn't a whiner or a crier. He often kept his frustrations to himself. But now it all seemed to control him and his emotions, not the other way around.

The dam just broke. He could no longer stop the tears. Obviously he didn't want to go into detail about his mother's ordeal. Too much pain. Sorrow. Grief.

For now, she wouldn't ask him any more questions. Jessi leaned in and hesitated to touch his arm. She wanted to give him a comforting hug.

So it was definitely shock, denial, and anger she witnessed back in the parking lot. He wasn't ready to grieve for his mother just yet. He clearly didn't expect to receive that phone call.

His mother passing away...probably the last thing he expected to hear today. "Shit. I need another drink," he muttered before he hastily got up from the couch.

"No. No more." She followed him to the kitchen. "Hey. You already drank a lot."

"Last one." He ignored her and opened her fridge to grab another beer can. Jenson opened it and just gulped down the drink. He finished it in mere seconds.

She gawked at him. Her jaw nearly dropped to the floor at how fast he drank all of it. "Jeez... You barely breathed."

"Need it to sleep through the night," he mumbled before hurling the beer can into the trash.

"No." She scowled. "Just drink water."

He turned to glance at her, his drunk face after crying looking beet red now. "Fuck. I need a cold shower."

×

"Careful. You might slip." With tentative steps, she approached the shower area with a bunch of negative thoughts and a clean towel for him.

The guy slouched while he leaned against the tiled wall. Jenson watched her under his dark lashes, his heavy lids giving in to gravity. The alcohol in his system must be swimming freely in abundance now. It could very well be impairing his common sense already.

Not really the best time for a quick shower, but he insisted that he had to sober up. Jessi conceded after internally debating with herself. No use arguing with a taller, more muscular, and more stubborn drunk guy who pays her bills and helps her keep a roof over her head.

The bathroom was already bright, but she still switched on the lights above the sink, just to be sure he would see everything clearly. "Here. New and clean."

"Thanks." His fingers touched her hand when he grabbed the towel.

His skin felt almost feverish now. "You okay?"

"Not really." He slowly stepped forward into the bathing area to turn on the showerhead.

"Don't take long."

"Thanks."

She was about to walk out of the bathroom when he slipped and fell onto his knees below the shower. Jessi swore under her breath and rushed back towards him. Darn it. She shouldn't have agreed to his idea of sobering up. "Careful. You okay?"

Jenson grinned to himself, his clothes getting wetter as the water gushed out of the showerhead above him. It was lukewarm, but he didn't seem to mind.

"Come on." She stood next to him, leaned over, then grabbed his arm to help him up.

When he was back on his feet, he held onto her wrist to pull her close. He kept smiling. His droopy eyes watched her as they stood in the shower area.

It bothered her as much as her thrashing heart in her chest, but she had to keep calm. It was just the alcohol taking over his brain. "Take off your clothes now so you can...um...wash up properly. I'll put them in the washer."

"Okay, dollface," he murmured with a little smirk. Now his hand gripped her arm. Instead of doing what she said, he pulled her closer to hug her. He snickered when she immediately froze in his arms. "You're like an antidepressant, in human form."

The utter surprise paused her breathing. A sigh got stuck in her throat, and she couldn't really pull away. Her heartbeat sped up when he hugged her tighter, with his warm face on the side of her neck and his left hand lightly squeezing her hip.

His beard scraped her skin, his thighs touched hers, and she felt like he was kissing her neck. He was just so drunk. No longer thinking straight. Unaware of the consequences of his actions.

Shit. She should stop him now. Stop all of it. But...a part of her just loved the feel of his tight embrace and the softness of his lips on her exposed skin. "Joss, let go," she muttered as she blindly adjusted the water temperature, just to remind him where they were. The back of her dress was already damp.

A stifled sigh was his response. He didn't move an inch.

"Take off your clothes so you can wash up. Then go to bed." Jessi tried a stern voice. When he didn't let go, she pulled away to look him in the eyes.

"You're letting me sleep in your bed?" The guy kept his strong arms wrapped tight around her waist and lower back, keeping her chest and stomach pressed onto his warmth.

It wasn't the first time he hugged her this way, but her body now seemed much more sensitive to his touch. It felt like he was plainly teasing her. Shit. But why?

Despite what her morals dictated, her just-a-harmless-crush feelings only turned into a bothersome longing to be this close to him. It shouldn't have. But it happened. Too late now to try to stop it.

"You're too tall for my couch."

"But your bed's not big enough for the two of us." Jenson grinned. Now his calloused palms cupped her face.

"Definitely not." She bit on her lip to contain her laugh.

He still wouldn't let go of her. But at least he was in a better mood already, no longer crying and seemingly in the mood for crude jokes now.

"Didn't think you'd also be a happy drunk."

"Not really." He got rid of his smirk. For a while, he just stared into her eyes with wrinkled brows and a mild pout. "You just make me feel better. Like always."

Ugh. Was he kidding? Or deliberately teasing her? She couldn't tell anymore. "I'll step out now so you can..." Jessi backed off, swiftly pulling his hands away from her face. When he frowned, she looked away and sighed in frustration.

It was moments like this that worsened her intense attraction to him. The flirty jokes, the easy conversations, the small smiles, his furtive glances, and his unusually sweet gestures lately just convinced her she was definitely in deep trouble.

Amid her loud thoughts, Jenson kept pulling her close when she pulled away to leave him in the shower. His shirt was already soaked. Then he took it off and just dumped it on the floor.

She almost gawked at it as her breathing grew shallow at the sight of him, standing too close to her, all wet and half-naked. "Joss..." She moved her head away from his face when he suddenly pulled her sleeves down to bare her shoulders.

"Shit." He sighed while his warm hands held the top of her arms. Though his eyes looked ready for bed, the inebriated look on his face gradually faded. Then his thumb traced the curve of her neck and shoulder, his touch both gentle and eager. "Why are you always so fucking beautiful?"

“Jenson—”

"What?" he muttered with another sigh. "You want me to stop?" He touched her chin while his other hand pressed against the wall to keep himself from swaying. Then he unbuttoned his pants without taking his eyes off her. He wasn’t acting drunk or playing with her. Otherwise he wouldn’t let it get this far.

Although difficult, she tried her best to ignore his nudity and just turned off the showerhead. "Be quick and go to bed. It's late." She fixed her dress to hide her damp and exposed shoulders. Her breath caught again when he gripped her arm before she could take another step, stopping her from leaving.

He pulled her close again to make her lean against the wall, trapping her with his muscular arms and bare legs. Jenson leaned in, barefoot as she was, now only covered up by his boxer briefs. The black fabric clung to his muscular thighs and looked drenched like her dress now.

Her chest coiled in anticipation, her pulse and heartbeat going wild as his gaze focused on her mouth, the skin below her neck, and her soaked clothes that stayed stuck on her body.

He swallowed and just kept staring, as though he only wanted to look at her all night.

“Take a quick shower. Then get some sleep.” She tried to wiggle her arm out of his grip. But he wouldn't let go of her for some reason.

He even shut and locked the shower door. He probably thought it would be enough to stop her from leaving him alone in here.

Shit. It's just getting out of control. It wasn't funny anymore. She had to stop him now before they crossed a line they shouldn't. "If you wanna go home, I’ll call a cab now. Okay?"

"No. I don't." He held her shoulders and leaned in to press his soft lips onto her cheek. "I wanna stay here with you."