GRACIE
I stared in a daze-like state as the door slammed close merely inches away from my face, a part of my brain went numb, I couldn't think of anything.
But I could feel everything just fine.
The pain was raw, burning ..... intense, tearing my insides and coursing through my veins like molten lava.
He had looked so dark, I had felt the dark intense rage emanating from him, it had shaken my core with terror.
For a moment I saw HIM. I had feared that HE was back.
I cowered.
Then he had suddenly let go like he had been scorched by my action.
The act of him letting go of me had snapped something in me, but it had been too late.
The fear hadn't left me, but it was a different kind, this time I was afraid for him.
The damage had been done already to him.
I was hurt. Then I had hurt him.
My body trembled uncontrollably, I knew deep in my bones that I just lost two people.
Shawn.
And him.
"Mommy cry?" A soft voice spoke from behind me.
I jolted slightly, I touched my face with my palms to realize I had been crying all along.
I wiped my face with a swipe of my sleeves before turning around to face her.
I couldn't even manage a smile at her innocent present, not when I felt as if I just lost a part of my soul.
"What is wrong? You've hurt mommy ? " her expression turned sad, and at the same time serious as she gazed up at me.
Hurt.
It couldn't in any way describe the agonizing pain I felt right now.
I stared at the closed door, even though it was a mere inches away, I felt like we've been separated by a whole universe.
"Then shall we go out? You always feel better after a walk "
A tiny smile formed at the corners of my lips, I was slightly surprised she still remembered that, it's been so long since I've done that and it had been when it was just the both of us.
" That's good," I said quietly.
It would be a quick way to clear my head, maybe it would help my pain subside a little.
"Then I'll go tell daddy, he'll accompany us! "
My heart seared in renewed pain at her words.
"No. Not today Hazel, we'll ask him next time " her face fell a little but she didn't insist further.
We were halfway outside when we bumped into Sebastian.
His gaze slowly traveled from me to Hazel...
"What's wrong with you, your eyes are swollen "
I was surprised by the apparent concern in his tone.
This would be the first time I've ever seen him being so concerned about me. I had thought that he just couldn't care less about anything.
I guess I was wrong.
"It's nothing, I'm just taking Hazel out for a little walk that's it "
He stared at both of us for a moment, this time I couldn't read his gaze.
"It's quite late are you sure? " his voice sounded uncertain.
He didn't mention for Hayden to go with us, I guess he somehow understood he was the reason why I needed this walk.
I stared up at the sky then back at him.
"It isn't quite late, besides it's only about a five-minute walk, I won't go far " I replied.
"Would you like to come with us? " Hazel spoke, staring up at him with an expectant look.
"Maybe next time kid "
"You always say that all the time! you should learn to give another excuse to me next time! " She stuck her nose up in the air, glowering up at him.
He looked taken aback, I read the amusement in his gaze.
"Next time, I promise "
To my surprise, he reached a hand to ruffle her hair but snatched it back quickly like she would bite it off.
I found myself chuckling despite myself.
I could see both of them relating closely in the future.
Future.
Do Hayden and I still have one? Or it had been blown away before it had even rooted itself firmly.
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HAYDEN
I couldn't wash away the feeling of loathing directed at myself.
What I had done a few moments ago made me the biggest ass in history.
She had been hurt and grief-stricken, not only I hadn't understood her, I had somehow made it all about me.
I couldn't even begin to imagine how I would ever face her again, not when right now I couldn't fucking stand myself.
She had been hurt and I had hurt her even more by my self-centeredness.
The door pushed open and my gaze snapped quickly towards it, my heart jolted, half expecting it to be hers.
I bit back a wave of disappointment and annoyance at the unwanted presence. He approached further into the room, his gaze fixed on mine.
"Are you going to continue sulking like a damn puppy?"
My mouth set in a grim line, fuck knew that I did not need his lectures right now. If anything I just wanted to be alone and wallow in self-loathe.
"Fucking leave me alone " I muttered under my breath
"I would love to, but because she left the house with my niece and all traces points that it has everything to do with you "
My whole body turned rigid, I couldn't control the rate at which my heart rate spike up, pounding hard against my ribcage.
My attention snapped towards him.
"What the hell do you mean by the left! "
I barely stopped my clenched fist from hitting him right in the face when he merely shrugged at me.
"I'm fucking asking you something! "
"Calm your shit, I don't think she left your sorry ass, she only mentioned taking a walk."
My relief didn't last long when I remembered the potential danger outside. And she being alone with my kid...
"And you didn't try to stop her! "
" I'm no god damned mediator, besides I didn't think she was a prisoner around here."
I pushed back a wave of irritation at his words and focused on the most important thing so hand, which was ensuring her safety.
"I'm not fucking talking about that! You know that shit is not safe out there! " I clenched out, I caught sight of my shirt on the couch, I snatched it and yanked it immediately over my head.
"Of course I know that, I had Rick and some men follow them secretly "
A slight wave of relief hit me, it wouldn't be full until they were right here with me, where I could see them, close to me.
"Call him! I need to know everything is okay"
"I already did about five minutes ago, nothing is off..."
"Call him again! " I snapped impatiently.
Irritation flashed across his gaze like he would want nothing other than to blow off my head this instant, but without uttering another word he withdrew his cellphone from his pocket.
The more time he wasted the more I paced about impatiently.
"What's fucking wrong! " I growled when he stared at me looking every bit worried.
The worry in his gaze fueled everything inside me.
Sebastian could only be worried when.....
Impatience.... fear... dread. All the emotions were raging inside of me, suffocating me until I couldn't draw in a breath.
"Damn you! What's wrong! " this time I grabbed his collar tightly.
"He isn't picking up, the rest of the others phones is turned off "
The moment he uttered those words my fist collided hard with his jaw.
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