I locked myself up in my room as soon as I got home...
I entered straight to my bathroom, my dull reflection stared back at me in the mirror, I turned on the tap and splash cold water over my face and hair...
What was wrong with me...
I've never felt so humiliated and disgusted with myself as I did right now......
I knew it was exactly what he wants, I knew I was feeling the exact way he wanted but that didn't ease the shame and disappointment I felt in myself
I hated him so much, how could my body burn with so much need when he touched me?
It was like he'd inserted a fire inside of me...
Memories of him lapping at my juices, his tongue driving me to an orgasm flashed in my head...
I tried to suppress them but they just kept coming.....
I stormed out of the bathroom and plunged on my bed, my mind was in the state of a total mess...
I skipped going down for dinner, I wasn't in the mood to see anyone.....
I just wanted to be left alone...
I laid on my stomach, my butt still too raw and tender from all that spanking.
I closed my eyes trying to force myself to sleep, perhaps when I wake up I would forget everything...
Sleep wouldn't come...
The area between my legs was tingling...
I unconsciously slid my fingers into my pants and began to massage myself slowly, I didn't feel anything, not like the huge pressure I felt when Hayden touched me.....
I caught myself at what I was doing, I quickly retracted my fingers feeling as guilty as ever...
A shaky breath escaped my mouth as I closed my eyes trying to catch some good sleep, but my dreams were hunted by a certain green-eyed boy.....
It was no longer a sweet dream
He turned it into a dark nightmare...
************************************
I thought about skipping breakfast but mom would hear nothing of it...
She kept piling my plates up until she was thoroughly satisfied
"Mom I can't...."
"Of course you can't, shouldn't you be on a diet?" Ashley remarked
Trust my sister to take my self-esteem lower than it already was...
Mom scowled at her
"What diet? I think she's perfectly fine, not everyone needs to be a broomstick"
My lips tugged in a small smile despite how depressed I felt inside
"Which reminds me, Gracie, your birthday is coming up next week, what would you like? We could throw a party so you can invite your friends and classmates " she clapped her palms beaming widely...
"Uh...I don't think so " I replied...
Mom still doesn't understand that I only have three friends, I'm totally not popular in any way, I bet if my other classmates even notice if I came to school or not...
"Then what do you want? Your dad will also be returning to visit us, isn't it great?
I looked up at that, dad was coming back? It's been quite long ....he was always so busy with work, if he really makes it to my birthday then it would really be wonderful.
"Anything else would be fine " I replied casually taking a bite of my scrambled eggs
"So boring, what's wrong with having a party, you are just too much sometimes !" Ashley huffed out rolling her eyes dramatically
This was one of the reasons we never got along even as children, she was totally different from me and never understands me at all.....
I was used to it by now though, her taunts were right now the least of my problems....right now on my mind was the dreadful feeling of meeting him again
*************************************
Staring at Clarissa approaching Lyn and me in a flurry, I knew that something was wrong, her face was quite pale, her eyes red-rimmed, evidence that she'd been crying for some time
We hurried towards her, my heart racing in alarm
"what's wrong?"
"It Jasper, he was attacked last night "
The blood drained out of my face...
"W...what do you mean attacked?"
She sniffed aloud blinking back tears
"His mother called me last night, He's in a coma, he was beaten so badly, it's so severe that he had to be flown out...the doctors still don't know if he's going to m...make it" her voice cracked at the end as she wiped her tears with a handkerchief...
My knuckles turned white from clutching my bag so tightly...
Could it be what I was thinking?
Only one thought came to mind....could Hayden have done this?
How could he do this?
My blood fumed with anger, this was really too much!
I set on my feet in search of him ignoring the calls they made after me.
**************************************
I couldn't find him all day, I was beginning to wonder if he was absent, it was lunchtime now and students were rushing to the cafeteria...
I kept my books in my locker prepared to go in search of Lyn and Clarissa when I found him......
He was in an empty classroom
Only he wasn't alone...
I stood at the door post not entering inside, they were too busy to notice me right now.
He was with some of his popular crew, I recognized Kyle and Josh sitting opposite to him discussing in low voices
Like Hayden, their bodies were filled with piercings and tattoos.....They looked quite as dangerous as he was and just carried the "don't mess with me or you'll regret it vibes "
Okay I wasn't sure that I want to be here right now but this was for Jasper, he got hurt because he was trying to stick up for me, I couldn't back out
From where I stood I could make out his angular jaw as he drew in from his lighted cigarette
He puffed out the smoke chuckling at something they said.
I thought there were rules against that...or perhaps the rule doesn't extend to him...
Brittany was glued to him like a second skin, she sat between his legs as her fingers worked on the muscles of his arms she whispered something I was too far away to hear in his ears, a slow grin broke out his face
I stared at him momentarily, He looked relax right now, although he still screamed dangerous with capital letters he looked quite normal...
Which led me to the question again...
Why me?
It was obvious he doesn't behave with anyone the way he does with me...
Why does he hate me so much?....
He's always hurt me but now he's extended it to my friends...
I would never allow that...
As if suddenly aware of my gaze he looked up, his sea-green gaze bore into mine...
We stared at each other momentarily, I straightened my resolve, it was now or never......
The corners of his lips quirked and my brain screamed at me to stop and run as far as I could away from him
The group discussions stopped abruptly as soon as I reached them, all pairs of gazes fell on me...
I ignored the mean look Brittany threw at me and stared at him
"I want to speak to you," I say, proud of myself for not stuttering although my legs were threatening to give way from any moment.....
"And I don't want to talk to you " he sneered
Brittany shot a triumphant look at me, looking all too pleased
"Did you hear that ugly face? He doesn't want to talk to you " she mimicked in a high-pitched tone and they all laughed......
"Did you hurt him?"
He cocked his jaw to an angle as if deciding if to answer my question or not...
"Maybe I did, maybe not..."
I clenched my fists tightly and repeated more forcefully this time
"Did you do that to Jasper, why!"
His expression suddenly turned serious, he threw away his half-smoked cigarette and stepped on it with his combat boot
He pushed Brittany aside as he stood to his full height, I Instinctively took a step back.....
In two quick strides he clasped my shoulders, he was looking so intimidating right now.....
"I did that to him, what can you do about it? You can't even protect yourself, so you may know I enjoyed every second of it"
His fingers dug against my shoulders painfully now, I compressed my lips trying not to cry out.....
"You are sick" I spat out hatefully
He chuckled loudly and pushed me forward so our chests were almost touching...
I flinched when he took a strand of my hair between his fingers.
"I never said I was normal, you got your warning, next time it wouldn't be a simple beating," He said it so simple but I couldn't mistake the dangerous edge in his tone
Did he call that simple? He nearly killed him, since he just confessed it couldn't I just report him?
As if reading my thoughts he added
"You could try"
Suddenly he pushed me away so that I almost lost my balance...
"You've got a lot of nerve coming here to confront me, do you really care about that limp dick?"
There was something in his gaze that pinned me to my spot, it seemed his eyes got more stormy and dark...It was somewhat terrifying
"Stay away from my friends !" I shot warningly, I turned away from him and walked out the door, his gaze digging holes inside my back......
*************************************
I really felt so sad for Jasper, it was all my fault that he was in the hospital fighting for his life right now.....
"You can't even protect yourself" his words rang in my ears as I walked all the way to Mom's room, the telephone bill in my hands...
Sadly enough it was true......
I selected a random book from the shelf and tucked the bill inside, I turned to leave when my fingers mistakenly knocked down some books to the floor
Aw, crap I didn't need this now.....
I scooted down and began to gather the books when I came upon a photograph...
Paying no mind to it I began to insert it in a random book when something in it caught my gaze...
My heart missed a beat as I stared at the photo In shock and disbelief
I blinked twice to ensure I wasn't seeing things...
How was this possible?
It was an old photograph of dad and Hayden...
He looked no more than six or seven years old, beside him was a little girl with a huge teddy and a wide toothy grin on her face, I guessed her to be about five...
She also has a pair of green eyes just like Hayden's
Does Hayden have a sister?
But the main question was what was he doing with dad?