Chapter 38 Chapter Thirty-eight
Elena's POV
The drive to the mall had been quiet, too quiet. Nikolai kept his eyes on the road the entire time, fingers gripping the steering wheel like it personally offended him. He didn’t look at me, didn’t speak unless absolutely necessary. The only time he had talked to me was when he asked that I put on my safety belt. I've tried to start a small conversation, and it's always ended with a no and a nod.
Fine! If he wanted to keep up that cold wall between us, I could play the same game. I'm good at it. Two can play this game. I smooth my hand around the jeans Emma had given me to wear. This morning I had asked her to help me with something to wear, and she had returned with a pair of jeans and a top. I couldn't even remember the last time I wore something like this.
At first, I wanted to object to it, but she said she couldn't find anything else that would fit me, so I just accepted it, slipping into it, it kind of looks good on me. I wondered if Nikolai thinks I look different, but he didn't say anything, he didn't even comment on my dress. I let my eyes wander to the window, watching the city.
When we stepped into the first clothing store, the bright lights and soft music felt almost jarring compared to the tension buzzing between us. Racks of dresses, tops, jeans, and accessories were everywhere, a colorful forest I usually enjoyed wandering through before Rafael happened.
But today, all I could think about was changing myself, and Nikolai, who walked right past me and sat in one of the chairs by the mirrors like a statue. He grabbed his phone, scrolling through it. His jaw clenched. His expression was unreadable. I cleared my throat and lifted a dress. “What about this one?” I asked when I couldn't make a choice. I didn't remember the last time I stood in front of things that Rafael didn't approve of. If it's not a gown, a super loose one, then Rafael would say it's indecent. I look at Nikolai, waiting for his answer, but no reaction. I tried again, holding it up higher. “Nikolai?”
He didn’t even look at me. “Wear whatever you want.” I blinked. That stung a little more than I expected. He didn't want to talk to me, maybe I should have just let Matteo come with me. I wouldn't be this lonely.
I pushed the feeling down and grabbed another outfit. “Do you prefer light colors or...""
“Elena,” he cut in, his voice low and detached. “You don’t need me to choose. Pick what you like.” My heart sank slowly, painfully, but I forced a smile.
“Alright then.” If that’s how he wanted to act. Fine, I'm not going to bother him again. I turned away from him and raised my hand to catch the attention of a male store attendant. He walked over quickly with a polite smile.
“Can I help you, ma’am?” Immediately, I felt Nikolai’s gaze snap toward us. I fought not to smirk. I thought he didn't care.
“Yes,” I said sweetly. “I’m having a hard time choosing. Could you help me pick which outfits look best?” The attendant nodded brightly and stepped closer. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nikolai’s brow twitch upward, even though he was trying to act like he didn't care.
Perfect! I muttered inwardly. The attendant held up a dress against me, examining it. “This color would really complement your eyes, ma’am.”
I hummed in agreement. “Really? You think so?”
His smile widened. “Absolutely.” I felt Nikolai watching us with a kind of quiet intensity, but he said nothing. He just leaned back deeper into his seat, one arm thrown over the back, pretending not to care.
Pretending! That’s all it was. I ignore Nikolai and focus on the male attendant, “You can choose more,” I told the attendant, ignoring the fact that Nikolai’s jaw looked like it was grinding itself into dust. The attendant picked a few more dresses and tops, speaking to me softly, politely. When he handed me the last outfit, I sensed Nikolai shift in his chair just a little. And his eyes tilted in our direction.
Was it possible he was jealous? I shouldn’t feel pleased by that but I did. Somehow, I wanted him to always see me. After picking everything, I turned to the attendant. “Follow me to the changing room.”
Nikolai sat up straighter so fast it was almost comical, he inserted his phone into his pocket. “What?”
I looked over innocently. “I need help with the zipper.”
His eyes narrowed. “Are there no female attendants available?”
I shrugged. “They’re all busy.” A blatant lie. I could see two people chatting near the register. But he didn’t need to know that. Picking a female attendant would not give me the reaction that I'm getting presently.
The male attendant stepped politely behind me. “This way, ma’am.” I took a step toward the changing room and that’s when Nikolai moved.
He stood up abruptly. “Wait.”
I stopped, turning slowly. “Yes?” Nikolai walked toward us, blocking the attendant with his body. His expression was cold, sharp, and dangerous.
“What exactly,” he asked quietly, “do you think you’re doing?”
I held his gaze, unfazed. “I told you. I need help with a zipper.” I said nonchalantly.
“By him?” he demanded, jerking a thumb at the attendant.
“Yes,” I answered simply.
The attendant shifted nervously behind me. “Sir, I was only trying to..."" I almost wanted to curse at the attendant for trying to explain to Nikolai.
Nikolai’s eyes snapped to him like a blade. “Get lost.” The attendant froze.
“Nikolai...” I started, but he cut me off.
“Now!” The man backed away instantly, practically stumbling as he rushed toward the register and vanished behind it.
I turned back to Nikolai, fighting a smile. “Was that necessary?”
“Yes,” he said through clenched teeth.
I raised a brow, folding my arms. “Why? You didn’t want to help. You weren’t even looking at me. And suddenly...”
“Elena,” he said sharply, stepping closer, “there is a difference between not helping and letting a random man put his hands on you.” His eyes were dark, Intense, and burning. My heart skipped, foolish and thrilled.
“So you admit it?” I asked softly.
He frowned. “Admit what?”
“That you care.” His jaw tightened, but he didn’t deny it. I smiled, small, subtle, and satisfied. I had gotten exactly the reaction I wanted. Maybe it was childish. Maybe it was petty. But for the first time since we left the house, he finally saw me again. And it felt stupidly good.
“Come on then,” I said lightly, brushing past him. “Since you chased away the poor man, you could help me with the zipper.” I could practically feel the way he froze behind me.
“Elena!”
“No backing out now,” I tossed over my shoulder. “You made this mess. You fix it.” When I reached the changing room, I didn’t look back until my hand touched the curtain. He was standing there, conflicted, battling something inside his head. His eyes were locked on mine, unreadable and dark with something I couldn’t quite name. “Are you coming?” I asked softly.
Slowly, reluctantly, and yet irresistibly, he stepped closer. And in that moment, I knew, Nikolai might fight it as hard as he wanted But I was getting to him. And he couldn’t hide it anymore.
I smile, maybe, if I had put the same energy I'm putting into Nikolai on Rafael, he would be here with me, not with Arabella, his secretary. I pushed the thought for my head, and called out to Nikolai, "Nikolai, please help me with this..."