Chapter 36 chàpter Thirty-six
Nikolai's POV
Did I just agree to go shopping with Elena? I don’t know what possessed me to agree.
The moment Elena asked me to come with her for shopping the next day, the word “alright” slipped out of my mouth before I could drag it back. I should’ve refused. I wanted to refuse, distance myself from her, at least that is what I kept telling myself.
But the truth was uglier. Being near her was becoming a problem.
And saying no to her, was becoming a very big problem. I couldn't say no to her, or maybe it was my thought messing with me that made me not be able to say no to her. I couldn't help but stare at her lips, and for goodness sake, they were causing havoc in my pants.
I leaned against my closed door, exhaling sharp and slow. My pulse was still too high, and my mind refused to settle, even after she had left. I could still see her sitting beside me, there in the dim hallway, arms crossed around her pushed-up knees, chin lifted stubbornly. And I could still feel the way my gaze had kept drifting down to her lips whenever she spoke.
Damn her.
Her mouth had been soft, pink, swollen from earlier, and every time she parted her lips to speak, I had to clench my fists to stop myself from grabbing her face and claiming her mouth again. Finish what we started earlier. Only God knows what I want to do now. I wanted to kiss her. Harder, deeper, and Longer. With no interruptions.
I swallowed hard and scrubbed a hand over my jaw. "Oh, Nikolai!" I groaned under my breath.
What the hell was I thinking agreeing to go shopping with her? Being alone with her for hours? In a crowded mall? With her walking around, touching things, smiling, asking me for opinions, getting close
I wasn’t built for this. I wasn't trapping myself when I was supposed to be running away. Elena was becoming a test of my self-control, and I was failing miserably.
And then, the final blow was when she stood up to leave, my big t-shirt lifted just enough, the light behind her giving me a full view of...
I shake my head, not wanting to take the word, but that thing in my head won't let me. My breathing stopped as it flashed me her bare skin.
No underwear. Nothing. Completely exposed for a split second. I saw more than I should have. More than I deserved. And then, because I was stupid, I opened my mouth and asked her why she wasn’t wearing anything under.
Idiot.
Her cheeks had burned, her eyes flashed, and she snapped back with that furious embarrassment that made her even more irresistible.
“Was I supposed to keep wearing pants that were soaking wet?” Those words alone nearly finished me. Knowing that I was the one who made her wet. Soaking wet, as she said
And when I pushed further, instead of letting sleeping dog lie, “Whose fault is that?” I felt my body react before I could control it. My cock hardened so quickly I had to turn slightly so she wouldn’t see it. God forbid she noticed how hard I was becoming because of her.
When she finally walked away, muttering “asshole,” I prayed she wouldn’t glance back. Because I wouldn’t have been able to hide the way my body betrayed me. Every sharp line of her hips, every sway of her walk made it worse.
I barely kept it together.
The moment she was out of sight, I practically flew into my room, as if the room had suddenly moved from its ordinary place. I shut the door and headed straight into the bathroom, shoving the tap to cold. Ice-cold. I stripped and stepped inside, letting the freezing water slam into me, trying to shock the heat out of my system.
It didn’t work.
Because even under the cold spray, all I could think of was her lips. Her voice. Her bare skin.
By the time I stepped out, I was no calmer. Just wet and annoyed. I grabbed my phone, dialing Matteo’s number even though it was past midnight.
He answered on the third ring with a groggy, irritated groan. “Do you know it’s late? If you can’t sleep, that doesn’t mean you should haunt other people’s sleep.”
Before I could reply, a soft female voice whispered in the background, “Baby, come back to bed.”
I blinked, then smirked. “Matteo… really? You already have a haunted dream beside you. Why would you need someone else?”
Matteo clicked his tongue. “You’re hilarious. Truly. Now tell me why you’re calling at this ungodly hour.”
I ran a hand through my damp hair. “You’re coming with Elena and me to the mall tomorrow.”
The line suddenly went silent, and then he spoke, “Which Elena?”
I frowned. “How many do you know?”
He whistled under his breath. “Nikolai, you’re playing with fire.”
I clenched my jaw, not ready for another lecture. “I didn’t ask for a lecture, I only asked that you be here, first thing in the morning.”
He sighed dramatically. “Fine. I’ll be there. But when things explode, don’t drag me into it, because you are...”
“Just be ready and be here, first thing tomorrow,” I said and hung up before he could annoy me further. I ended the call, throwing my phone on the bed, since I can't sleep, I just work on those numerous files that have been craving my attention as I was craving my brother's fiancée.
But that was like another torture, I threw the files away as frustration refused to let me function well. Morning came too quickly.
I barely slept. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her in that t-shirt of hers, I saw what it revealed, and heard the way her voice trembled when she called me an asshole. My mood was wrecked from the moment I got out of bed, had my breakfast in my room, and told Emma to bring Elena's breakfast to her room to avoid anything like having breakfast with her.
By the time I made it downstairs, Matteo was already leaning against the car outside, arms crossed, smirking like he knew every embarrassing detail of my night.
I ignored him. "Boss..." He called, suddenly ready to vomit something awful this morning, but Elena stepped out of the mansion dressed simply but beautifully. A fitted top, soft jeans, hair loose around her shoulders, with sneakers. Somehow, my eyes couldn't get off her. This is my first time seeing her in jeans; she was always in a gown. Lose one to be specific, and this looks good on her, "you're drooling!" Matteo muttered, I ignore, giving that stoic Expression. I could notice Elena's expression when she saw Matteo, her eyes narrowing slightly.
“Nikolai…” she said slowly, turning to me with suspicion written across her face. I know that look. “Why is Matteo here?" Her voice laced with suppressed annoyance, "Is he coming with us?” Her disappointment hit me harder than it should have. I forced myself to keep my expression neutral, hands shoved in my pockets. “Yes.”
Her brows drew together. “Why?” she asked.
Because I didn’t trust myself to be alone with you. Because the way I look at you isn’t safe. Because one wrong move and I’ll kiss you again and I won’t stop this time. Those are the words that I wanted to scream in her face. But none of those answers could ever leave my mouth.
So I simply said, “For company.”
Matteo snorted. “For supervision,” he muttered under his breath, but loud enough that we both heard. I shot him a warning glare. Sometimes I wished I could rip his tongue out of his mouth and make him a runt.
Elena crossed her arms, raising a brow at me as she could see right through the lie. Her voice softened, laced with something I didn’t want to name. “I thought… it would be just you and me.” The words hit low in my gut.
I looked away before she saw the effect they had. I couldn’t let myself react. I couldn’t let her see how dangerously close I was to losing my self-control again.
“Get in the car,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. But even as I opened the door for her, I knew one thing with absolute certainty
Today was going to be hell because resisting Elena was becoming impossible. And this stubborn woman wouldn't let me breathe. I don't know if she is doing it on purpose or just out of ignorance. "I don't want him coming with us. "