Chapter 102 Chapter Hundred-Two

Chapter 102 Chapter Hundred-Two
Elena's POV

"What the fuck?" The words exploded from Nikolai's lips. I stirred beneath the blanket, still trapped between sleep and reality; his voice had been so sharp that it dragged me from whatever dream I had been having. I yawned and stretched, my eyes still heavy, then I opened them slowly. Nikolai was already sitting upright on the bed, his foot on the floor, his back facing me. A soft smile found its way to my lips as the memory of last night filled my head. I couldn't believe that Nikolai was the one I had my first time with.

"Nikolai," I called softly. My hand reached for his bare back when he pulled away. He turned towards me, but he wasn't looking at me. His expression was furious; his eyes were cold. He was glaring at his phone as though he wanted to smash it against the wall. "What is it?" I asked sleepily. He lifted his eyes to me.

"Were you playing me?" The question instantly chased away the last trace of sleep in my eyes. I pushed myself upright. I was still nude. He turned his gaze from me, as if my body disgusted him.

"What?" He didn't answer; I reached toward him. "Nikolai, what are you talking about?" he pulled my hand slowly away from his. That small movement hurt more than I expected, and with that he stood from the bed and began putting on his clothes. "Nikolai," I yelled, grabbing my pajamas, and I slipped into them as well. "Can you fucking talk to me?" My heart started pounding. "What happened?" He grabbed his phone, then threw it into the bed. I flinched. The screen was still lit. I picked it up; my eyes widened as a news article filled the screen.

Moretti heiress, Elena Valkor Moretti set to marry Rafael Rossetti on her birthday. My stomach dropped. I shook my head. "No!" I stared at the photograph beneath the headline. It was a picture of Rafael and me, the one from last night. Someone had taken it, and I guess the article had already spread everywhere. There were thousands of comments under the phone already. My hands began trembling. "Fuck!" I dropped the phone into the blanket, "Nikolai..."

"So?" His voice was dangerously calm. I looked up at him." What?"

"Go on and explain." He urged me, folding his hands across his chest. I shut my eyes; I didn't even know what to say. "I'm waiting." I swallowed hard.

"Nikolai, I love you." He raised his hands stopping me.

"Stop, just answer the damn questions." His voice thundered through the room. "You are getting married to Rafael?" I flinched

"It's not what you think." He laughed. A bitter humorless laugh left his lips.

"Not what I think?" He stared at me. "You knew?" I shook my head. He smirked. "You didn't know?" He asked but I couldn't answer. "Don't lie to me."

"Fine!" I sighed, "I knew but..." His jaw tightened.

"You knew your family would announce your wedding."

"I didn't say so," I yelled, ruffling my hair. "I only knew just last night, and I didn't expect that it would be everywhere in barely a few hours."

"That is not what I asked," he said, stepping closer. "You knew the date already, even if you didn't know before?" I couldn't answer immediately because the news was what made me cry, what made me desperate, what pushed me harder because I was scared that I might lose the one thing that matters most in my life, and I didn't want to forget all about him; I wanted a memory with him. He stared at me, waiting for an answer. When I hesitated, something inside his eyes broke. "Fuck!" He cursed, dragging both his hands through his hair. "The answer is yes, right?"

"Nikolai please listen to me."

"How could I be so stupid?" He hit his palm against his forehead.

"No!" I rushed towards him "I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

"So you are telling me you didn't know?" He looked directly at me. "Elena answer me." I opened my mouth, but nothing came out, because even if I didn't know they would announce it last night, I had known for more than four years, that my wedding was going to be on my twenty-second birthday, I had known about the announcement for the longest time, I had known my grandfather wanted the wedding but I never thought it would happen last night, the same night I told Rafael that we should break up. I didn't plan for all this to happen. I was hoping to talk to my family this morning that I didn't want to get married to Rafael, that I wanted Nikolai, especially now that we both had carnal knowledge of ourselves, not waking up to this. He watched me silently, then he nodded slowly. "You knew." I shut my eyes. "So this was the reason for the crying." My heart cracked. "The drinking." he shook his head. "And I was just..." He stopped, his eyes closed; he couldn't finish the sentence. I felt tears immediately burning in my eyes.

"No." I reached for him; he stepped back. "Please, I didn't use you."

"That is what it looks like."

"I swear it wasn't."

"Then what was it?" I parted my lips, but nothing came out, I couldn't explain it properly, I had been desperate, heartbroken, scared, I had wanted him near me because he was the only person who made me feel like I wasn't trapped, he was nothing like Rafael, maybe, he was right, I used him but I didn't plan any of this.

"I love you." He stared at me, his brows furrowed.

"You love me?"

"Yes," I said without hesitation.

"Then why didn't you tell me the wedding had been announced.”

"I wanted to tell you but I just felt it wasn't the right time." He looked at me.

"When would that right time be?" I didn't answer. I didn't want to lie, because I was sure that if this news didn't get out of hand, I still wouldn't tell him this morning. So instead of replying to him, I decided to tell him everything that happened before, maybe that would help.

"I was going to break up with him, I even told him that we should break up."

"Did he agree?" I shook my head. "Typical of Rafael." He said, "he didn't agree, which means you knew the announcement was going on."

"Nikolai, please, you know I have no control over that," I sighed. "My family always thought I loved Rafael." I shut my eyes. "Maybe I did before, but not anymore, and my family still thinks I did."

"Still, you should have told me."

"I was going to!"

"When?" He looked at me. "Let's say you don't have time to tell me on the phone, but didn't you tell me already when I got here?" My tears fell; he was making me feel bad.

"That is not fair."

"Fair?" He laughed again. "Do you think this is fair to me?"

"No," I answered truthfully. Maybe I was at fault; I should have let him know.  

"Then what am I supposed to think?" I whispered, my cheeks burning.

"I need you. I needed someone who understands me."

"And I came,” his voice softened for half a second before it hardened again, "I came because I thought you were hurting." 

"I was."

"I thought you wanted me."

"I do."

"Then why am I waking up to a headline saying you are marrying my brother?" I couldn't answer; there was no explanation that I could give that would make Nikolai calm down or make the headline disappear. It would only lead to another question. Nikolai looked away; his shoulders rose and fell with a heavy breath. "I should have known," I shook my head, "I should have seen it."

"Nikolai please." He shook his head.

"I walked straight into this." He grabbed his jacket from the chair. I stared at him in panic.

"What are you doing?"

"Leaving, this is not my home."

"No," I moved toward him. "Nikolai, you need to listen to me."

"Stop!" He held up his hand. "I don't want to hear anything else." My tears fell faster.

"You didn't understand."

"I understand enough."

"No, you don't," I screamed. He didn't say a word; he picked up his gun and secured it beneath his jacket. The sight of it made me even more frightened. "Nikolai," I called. He looked at me one last time; his eyes were clouded with something I couldn't explain.

"Stay away from me." My heart shattered.

"What?"

"Don't call me. I will try to forget what happened last night, and you will do the same." I shook my head. I can't forget last Night. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

"Please don't do this." I cried. He walked toward the window. I grabbed his hand while he gently but firmly pulled away.

"Elena please," his voice was tired. "Don't make this harder."

"I love you," I yelled. He didn't respond; he simply climbed onto the windowsill. "Nikolai!" He looked back only for a brief second. I thought he might change his mind; he didn't. He disappeared through the window. "Nikolai!" I ran after him. I reached the window just in time to see him moving across the rooftop. He didn't look back. "Nikolai!" My voice echoed through the early hours of the morning. I didn't care who heard me; I didn't care if the guards saw me; I didn't care if the entire mansion woke up. "Please!" I pleaded, tears blurred my vision. "Nikolai!" I called until I could no longer see him; he was gone. My legs suddenly felt weak, and I stumbled backwards. "No," I rushed toward my bed and grabbed my phone, my hands shook so badly that I almost dropped it. I called Shannon, I needed someone to talk to. At the first ring, she answered.

"Elena, why..."

"Please come to my room." That was all I could manage before ending the call. Then I sank to the floor beside my bed. The sob that escaped me was painful. "I am so stupid," I covered my face. "I should have told him; maybe everything wouldn't be this messed up.” The door suddenly opened.

"Elena?" Shannon's rushed inside. The moment I saw her, I ran towards her and threw myself into her hands. "What happened?" I couldn't speak; I just cried, and Shannon held me tight, rubbing soothing circles around my back. "It's okay."

"No, it isn't." I buried my face against her shoulder. "I ruined everything." She pulled me slowly from herself.

"What did you do?" She asked, helping me sit on the bed,

"I am so stupid." My voice broke as I narrated everything to her. She looked at me with pity, not judgmental eyes. Even when I told her I had lost my v-card, I cried harder. "He hates me now." She tightened her arms around me.

"Elena, shush!"

"He thinks I used him." I shook my head desperately. "I didn't, I swear I didn't." Shannon stroked my hair.

"I know you didn’t. You will never hurt anyone intentionally." I raised my head and looked at her. "I know you don't want this wedding, and you told Carson and me that you were calling off the engagement, then why did you agree to the wedding?" I looked at her, then remembered Rafael's words. I didn't want him to hurt Shannon. I shook my head, I am not putting her in danger.

"Maybe, I developed cold feet." Shannon laughed. I looked at her. "What's funny?"

"You are terrible when it comes to lying." I looked at her. "Did Rafael threaten you?"