Chapter 20 Chapter 20
Chapter 20 Chapter 20
Aveline’s POV
The world didn’t feel real when we came back.
Everything looked the same—the courtyard, the towering statue of the Moon Goddess, the guards standing stiff like nothing had happened—but it feel the same.
It felt… thinner.
Like something had followed me back and was now standing just behind my shoulder, breathing down my neck.
My fingers were still wrapped tightly around Fenrir’s hand.
I didn’t even realize I hadn’t let go until he shifted slightly, his grip tightening in response, like he could feel it too—how badly I needed something solid to hold on to.
My chest rose and fell too fast.
Too uneven.
Like my body hadn’t caught up with the fact that I was no longer there.
But my mind—
My mind was still trapped in that place.
Still hearing that voice.
Still seeing my mother’s face fading away in front of me.
I swallowed hard, but it didn’t help.
Nothing helped.
“Aveline.”
Fenrir’s voice cut through the noise in my head.
Low.
Steady.
Grounding.
I turned to him slowly.
And the moment our eyes met—
Something inside me cracked.
Not fully.
Not completely.
But enough.
Because he was looking at me like I mattered.
Like I wasn’t just something to be used.
Like I hadn’t just stood there and almost—
I pulled my hand away from his.
Too fast.
Too sudden.
Like touching him burned.
His brows pulled together immediately.
“Aveline—”
“I’m fine,” I said quickly.
Too quickly.
The words came out sharp. Defensive.
A lie.
We both knew it.
His gaze didn’t soften.
Didn’t back down.
It stayed on me, steady and searching, like he was trying to peel me apart layer by layer until he found the truth underneath.
“I didn’t ask if you were fine,” he said quietly.
My throat tightened.
I looked away.
Because I couldn’t hold his gaze.
Not when it felt like he could see too much.
“Then don’t ask anything,” I muttered.
Silence fell between us.
Heavy.
Thick.
The kind that pressed against your chest until it became hard to breathe.
I could feel him still watching me.
Waiting.
But I didn’t want to talk.
I couldn’t.
Because if I opened my mouth—
If I let even a little of it out—
I didn’t know if I would be able to stop.
And I couldn’t afford to break.
Not here.
Not now.
Not when I could still feel it.
That thing.
Lurking.
Waiting.
It hadn’t let me go.
I knew it.
Deep in my bones.
“You almost said yes.”
The words came from behind us.
Luca.
Of course.
I stiffened immediately.
My jaw tightened as I turned toward him slowly.
His expression was calm.
Too calm.
Like he had just watched everything and was now casually stating something that could destroy me.
“I didn’t,” I said.
Flat.
Cold.
He held my gaze.
“You were going to.”
“I said I didn’t.”
My voice rose slightly.
Sharp.
He didn’t flinch.
Didn’t look away.
“It offered you something,” he continued, like I hadn’t spoken. “Something you couldn’t ignore.”
My chest tightened painfully.
“Stop talking.”
“What did it promise you?” he asked.
“That’s enough,” Fenrir cut in, his voice dropping dangerously low.
But Luca didn’t stop.
Because of course he didn’t.
“Let me guess,” he went on. “Power? Freedom? Or—”
“My mother.”
The words slipped out before I could stop them.
The silence that followed was immediate.
Heavy.
Crushing.
I felt it settle over all of us.
Felt Fenrir’s attention snap back to me fully.
Sharp.
Focused.
“What?” he asked.
I closed my eyes briefly.
Just for a second.
But it was enough.
Enough for everything to rush back in.
Her face.
Her weak breathing.
The way her chest barely rose.
The way the image flickered like she was already slipping away.
My hands started trembling again.
I clenched them into fists.
Trying to stop it.
Trying to control it.
“It showed me her,” I said quietly.
My voice didn’t sound like mine anymore.
Too soft.
Too distant.
“She’s dying.”
The words broke something inside me.
I felt it.
Sharp.
Painful.
Real.
“I know,” Fenrir said.
“No,” I shook my head quickly, my breath hitching. “You don’t understand. I saw it. I saw her. She’s not just sick anymore. She’s—she’s—”
I couldn’t finish it.
The word stuck in my throat.
Because saying it out loud would make it real.
And I wasn’t ready for that.
I wasn’t ready to accept that I was already losing her.
Luca’s voice cut in again.
Quiet this time.
More careful.
“And it offered to save her.”
It wasn’t a question.
I swallowed hard.
“…yes.”
Silence.
Then—
“And what did it ask for in return?” Fenrir asked.
I didn’t answer immediately.
Because I didn’t want to say it.
Didn’t want to hear it again.
Didn’t want to feel what it had done to me in that moment.
But they were both waiting.
And I knew—
I knew I couldn’t keep it in.
“It said…” I hesitated.
My chest tightened again.
“It said I would become… something.”
“What does that mean?” Fenrir asked.
“I don’t know.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“I don’t know!” I snapped.
My voice cracked this time.
Loud.
Sharp.
Breaking at the edges.
Because I didn’t understand it.
I didn’t understand anything that had just happened.
“It said I would become what I was meant to be,” I continued, my voice shaking now. “And that I would be… its.”
The last word came out like something bitter.
Something that tasted wrong in my mouth.
Something I wanted to spit out and forget.
Fenrir went very still beside me.
Too still.
The kind of stillness that meant something dangerous was building underneath.
“And you were going to accept that?” he asked.
His voice was quiet.
But there was something under it.
Something sharp.
Something I didn’t like.
I turned to him fully this time.
Anger rising fast.
Hot.
Uncontrolled.
“What was I supposed to do?!” I demanded.
“Not that.”
“Why not?!” I shot back. “Because you showed up at the last second? Because you think you can just walk in and fix everything?!”
His jaw tightened.
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to!” I laughed bitterly. “You just acted like it!”
“I pulled you out of there.”
“Yes, you did,” I said, my voice dropping. “But what happens next, Fenrir? What happens when I go back to my room and she’s still dying? What happens when I can’t do anything to save her?!”
He didn’t answer.
Because he didn’t have one.
Because there was no easy answer.
And that—
That was what terrified me the most.
My breathing grew uneven again.
Tears burned my eyes, but I forced them back.
“I was out of options before,” I said more quietly now. “Now I’m out of time too.”
The words felt heavy.
Too real.
Too final.
“I can’t lose her,” I whispered.
And that—
That was the truth.
The raw, ugly truth I had been trying to hold together.
“She’s all I have left.”
Silence followed.
Not the suffocating kind from before.
Something different.
Something heavier.
Fenrir stepped closer.
Slowly.
Carefully.
Like he wasn’t sure if I would pull away again.
“You’re not alone,” he said.
I let out a quiet, broken laugh.
“That’s easy for you to say.”
“It’s not.”
“You have a pack,” I said. “You have people. You have a place where you belong.”
“And you don’t?”
“No,” I said immediately.
The answer came too fast.
Too certain.
Because it was true.
I had never belonged anywhere.
Not with my father.
Not in the village.
Not even here.
I was just…
Something people used when it was convenient.
Something they threw away when it wasn’t.
Fenrir’s expression hardened slightly.
“Then stay,” he said.
I blinked.
“What?”
“Stay here,” he repeated. “With me.”
The words hit me harder than they should have.
Because for a second—
Just a second—
I wanted to believe him.
Wanted to believe that I could just stay.
That things could be that simple.
But they weren’t.
They never were.
“My mother is dying,” I said quietly.
“I know.”
“Then don’t say things like that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t stay,” I said, my voice tightening. “Not while she’s out there, fighting for her life.”
His jaw clenched.
“And you think going back to that thing is the answer?”
“I don’t know!” I snapped again. “But it’s something!”
“It’s a trap.”
“I don’t care!”
The words came out louder than I meant them to.
Sharper.
More desperate.
“I don’t care what it is, Fenrir,” I continued, my voice breaking. “If it can save her, I’ll take it.”
Silence.
Then—
“And if it destroys you?”
I didn’t hesitate.
“Then at least she lives.”
The words hung between us.
Heavy.
Final.
And the look on his face—
It shifted.
Something dark flickered in his eyes.
Something that made my chest tighten unexpectedly.
“Don’t say that,” he said quietly.
“Why?” I whispered.
“Because I’m not letting that happen.”
A bitter laugh escaped me.
“You don’t get to decide that.”
His gaze didn’t waver.
“Yes, I do.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Yes,” he repeated, his voice firmer now. “I do.”
Something about the way he said it—
So certain.
So unyielding—
It made my chest ache.
Because no one had ever said something like that to me before.
No one had ever looked at me like I was worth fighting for.
And I didn’t know what to do with that.
I looked away again.
Because it was easier than facing it.
Easier than feeling it.
“You don’t understand,” I said quietly.
“Then make me understand.”
I hesitated.
My throat tightened.
My hands trembled again.
“I’ve already lost too much,” I whispered. “I can’t lose her too.”
Silence.
Then—
“You won’t.”
I shook my head slowly.
“You can’t promise that.”
“No,” he admitted. “But I can promise you this—”
I looked at him again.
Slowly.
Carefully.
And the look in his eyes—
It was different now.
Not just determination.
Not just control.
Something deeper.
Something real.
“I won’t let you face it alone.”
My chest tightened painfully.
Because for the first time—
I believed him.
And that scared me more than anything else.
Beca
use trusting him—
Meant risking everything.
And I wasn’t sure I had anything left to lose.
A sudden sharp pain shot through my chest.
I gasped slightly, my hand flying to my heart.
The feeling was brief.
But intense.
Like something had just tightened its grip around me.
Fenrir noticed immediately.
“What’s wrong?”
I shook my head quickly.
“I’m fine.”
But I wasn’t.
Because I felt it.
That presence again.
Stronger now.
Closer.
Watching.
Waiting.
My breath hitched.
“It’s still here,” I whispered.
“What is?”
I looked up slowly.
Fear creeping back in.
“That thing…”
My voice trembled.
“It didn’t let me go.”