CHAPTER 19 — BROKEN HEARTS

I counted the handful of bills and change we had acquired from today's performance, still beaming. It wasn't a lot, but the fact that we had gotten this much on the first day was quite encouraging.

Waltzing into Mr. Covel's office, I placed the money safely in a hidden bottom cabinet and breathed a sigh of relief as I collapsed on the chair.

A notification pinged my phone and I picked it up to see that I had one new message from Mom. I threw my head back in exasperation. I didn't feel like talking to her right now. I knew she'd only go on and on about returning to Georgia for Christmas. And honestly, I'd gotten tired of saying no. I still felt guilty for hanging up on her the last time. I understood that all of this boiled down to my family missing me. They missed having me around, but all I did was be a jerk whenever they called because I felt like a loser.

I willed myself to take deep breaths. Thinking about home always put me in a somber mood. Today had been perfect, and the last thing I needed was to ruin it by my destructive over-thinking.

To distract myself, I looked round my office, my eyes roaming round all the year’s medals and trophies that were hung drearily on the walls. It felt like home to me. And restoring All That Jazz to its former glory was something I had begun to clutch dearly to my heart.

My face heated up as I remembered the last time I had stood in this office. My interaction with Lennox had ended in a slap. Guilt poked me in the chest. Maybe I had crossed the line. But the sensible part of me didn't care. He deserved it. Leaving me confused and on edge just when I thought we were having a moment, disregarding and ignoring me like it never happened, going on to call what we had shared a whim and then, kissing me after the stunt he had pulled?

Oh, he deserved every bit of that slap!

Maybe he believed that he could simply get anything he wanted from anyone just because he was all rich and powerful, without having to answer for his wrong actions. When I’d told Val about it, even she had been pissed. Well, that was before asking me if he was a good kisser or not. Mentally, I rolled my eyes. Lennox obviously had that magnetic appeal on women. A sensuous effect that made them not care if he was only using them as toys for his own sexual gratification and on his own terms. But I wouldn't let myself get sucked into the maze of madness that he is or dance to the tunes of his needs.

Not like I didn't want him to push me over on my desk and bang me till I cried out his name in every language. Of course I did. My cheeks flamed from my lewd thoughts. But I'd be dead before I let him discover what a drooling mess I was around him.

After a few moments of wallowing in my thoughts, I exited the office, grabbing my sports bag on the way. All I needed was a fulfilling shower to keep me on track. As I peeked in to do one final check in the dance room, I came face to face with a gloomy looking Shaye, shoulders slouched as she sat Indian style. Worry made my eyebrows pucker as I walked up to her. It was just like the other day I’d caught her crying.

"Hey," I whispered, scooting over to sit beside her. She only raised her head, fixing me with a sad smile and nodded. My heart clenched. Lennox was doing it again.

Painfully, I knew nothing I would say could make her hurt go away, so I placed one palm on her tiny ones and gathered her to me softly.

“What’s wrong, honey?”

"I miss her." Shaye's small voice shattered through the surprisingly comfortable silence.

Something twisted in my chest as I took in her teary eyes and droopy posture. I knew she was talking about her mom.

"Tell me about her," I said, surprising even myself. I did want to know her. Know what she was like… A part of my mind wanted to know what Lennox's type was. What kind of female he would push his cold, egoistic self aside for. The kind of woman who’d gotten a man like him down to his knees to propose. The kind of woman Lennox Wilder had fallen for.

I chided myself internally for thinking in that direction. Looking over at Shaye, I saw the glint in her eyes, a mixture of nostalgia and sadness.

"Well..." Shaye started in a small voice. "I don't remember much. But she was really sweet and really pretty, kind of how I guess all moms are?"

My heart sickened. According to what I'd heard from Val, Shaye had only been four at the time. It was understandable that she didn't remember much.

"Dad used to take us on trips every weekend. He used to smile a lot then too. Mum was like a cute ray of sunshine to him…to me." Shaye continued, her voice beginning to break. I felt my throat tighten but I wasn't sure why.

"B-but then one night, mommy didn't come home. And dad was sad for a really long time. And he didn't talk to me much anymore or take me on any trips. And s-sometimes, I think maybe it's my fault he doesn't love me anymore-"

With that, she broke down in tears, using her folded arms as a shield for her eyes. I bit back the sob that threatened to escape my lips. It was so unfair for her to hurt this much at such a young age. As I enveloped her in my arms and let her sob freely on my shoulder, my mind drifted to Lennox. Was that what it was? Beneath the cold exterior, there was just a broken man who was hurting. My heart wept for him, and I realized how hard it must have been for him. Losing his wife and carrying the responsibility of taking care of Shaye all on his shoulders. In that moment, a part of me could understand the type of hell Lennox Wilder must have been through. It was the same hell I’d bitterly experienced when I’d lost my sister. The anger, regret and sadness had nearly consumed me and leaving home seemed like the most bearable option then. But as I clutched Shaye in my arms, I decided that no matter how much pity I felt for him, I would not allow him to play with my feelings.

An hour later, Shaye had calmed down and we sat talking about everything from her hobbies to her old school. As she plunged into the story of how she had met her first best friend, a figure walked through the doors. Straightening up, Shaye grabbed her bags, a furious look instantly plastered on her face when her eyes fell on the intruder.

I saw Shaye's features falter as a middle-aged woman emerged. "Sorry for keeping you waiting." The woman spoke clearly, bowing a little as she hurriedly dashed to Shaye's side, to help her with the bags.

My heart dropped as I realized that Lennox had sent someone to pick Shaye up. I saw anger flare in Shaye's eyes once more and deliberately, she dumped the bags with a loud thud. The lady, who was most likely a servant of theirs, picked them up quickly and proceeded to the doors.

As I picked up my sports bag to follow behind them, Shaye ran back, surprising me by wrapping her arms around me for a few seconds. My heart melted as I held her fast, a burst of warmth embracing me, and just as quickly as before, she walked away while I pretended not to see the disappointment in her eyes.