I’M NOT READY FOR THIS

I’M NOT READY FOR THIS


Before going to bed last night, I had collected the supplies, loaded them in the carriage, and pulled the horse toward the backyard. By 4 a.m., I was out of the house, but on my way, I tripped, and then the horse jumped. The horse screamed, and I remember tumbling over.
I slowly opened my eyes after heaving a heavy sigh.
My head is aching terribly. I looked around and realized that I was in a room.
Suddenly, I saw Michael towering above me. Then he knelt and quickly took my hands. “You’re awake, thank the heavens,” he said, kissing my hands.
I sighed and tried to sit up but there was a sharp pain around my abdomen. Michael immediately came to my aid.
“Careful,” he said as he held my hand and helped me sit on the bed. While I stretched my legs, he grabbed a pillow and stationed it behind me for support.
I threw my back against the pillow and then turned to the mirror in front of me. That was when I caught the cotton wool on my forehead. It was covered with shades of blood and some disinfectant.
I felt my forehead. “My head aches very badly,”
“You’ll be fine,” Michael said and continued to rub my hands tenderly. “Just sit tight. I’ll go get you some food,”
I turned to the window and saw the sun shining brightly. This means that it was afternoon.
Immediately after Michael stood up, the warning bells in my head began to bang.
The last thing I remember was falling off the horse and this happened a few miles away from the settlement. I never got there. If I were in a room, with a clean stitch on my forehead, this could only mean one thing.
I gasped and Michael immediately turned to me. I swallowed hard and began to tremble.
“How did I end up here? Were you the one who found me? Tell me you were the one who found me and you were all alone,”
Michael walked back to the bed and sat. Then he threw his arms around me. “Take a deep breath,”
I couldn’t. I was panicking.
“Everything is under control. Your parents don’t know what really happened. Yes, I was the one who found you and had managed to bring you here and so far, everyone thinks you stumbled and fell while taking a morning stroll,”
I sighed in relief and threw my aching head backward.
Then I heard a sniffle. I turned to Michael and saw tears welling up in his eyes. Our eyes met and he didn’t had to utter a word for me to understand what was going through his mind. I must have given him such a scare.
Michael cupped my face with his hands. “You shouldn’t have just taken off like that. You should have told me,”
“I’m sorry, my love. It was very early and I didn’t want to wake you up,”
“You had no idea how I felt when I saw you lying there?” He sniffled. “Please, Madison. Don’t do this to me again,”
I nodded. “I’m sorry,”
Suddenly, the door opened and my parents appeared. Michael immediately wiped his eyes and stood up.
My mother came forward. “Have you told her yet?”
Michael chuckled and then shook his head. “I felt you should do it,”
My father smiled and turned to me but he didn’t say a word.
I swept my gaze across the room. Tell me what?
My mother sighed and sat by the edge of the bed. Then she took my hand. “Congratulations, my child. You’re going to be a mother,”
“What?”
I turned to Michael. There was a radiant smile on his face. “The doctor confirmed it while he was tending to you,” he said.
Shit! I haven’t had my period this month.
My father was already teary-eyed. “I can’t believe we’re going to be grandparents,”
Was the doctor sure?
He didn’t take any of my samples or were the signs so evident?
Suddenly, my heart began to beat very quickly and everyone’s voices faded to the background.
I should have been careful. I should have checked my fertility window before going raw with Michael.
Me? Pregnant? This can’t be happening.
\~~~~
I stared at the painting on the wall. I’ve been staring at that painting for minutes since I woke up from my slumber. After eating, I took my medication and went back to sleep almost immediately. I needed a distraction very badly from the news I’ve just received and I’m glad the pills did the magic.
Now, it’s 6pm and I have just woken up to reality.
I took a deep breath and dropped my legs on the floor. Suddenly, I heard footsteps clicking toward me and before I could turn, my mother was seated on the bed, right next to me.
“Hey,” I smiled weakly.
“You’re conflicted,” she said, looking me straight in the face.
“About what?”
She sighed and turned to the painting I’ve been staring at. “You’re scared and I don’t blame you. This pregnancy that left us all overwhelmed is not the same with you. Your emotions have been tempered by fear,” she turned to me. “You’re scared,”
Tears began to well up in my eyes. “What if I lose the baby?”
“No!” My mother immediately reached for my hand. “Whatever happened in the past was not your fault. If that family hadn’t subjected you to so much discomfort and horror then trust me, you’ll be tending to Michael’s son by now,”
I sighed. “I don’t even know what to say. I’m not ready for this,”
“Well, you should have thought about that when you both were climaxing especially when he was releasing inside you,”
“Mother!”
She turned to me and we broke into a laugh.
“You’ll do well, my daughter. You’ll be fine and you’ll have nothing to worry about because you have all the love and support you need and listen, you’re safe now, in a better place so nothing is going to happen to you or your child,” my mother told me with a smile.
I needed this talk. I’m glad she saw through me. I was scared of opening up to anyone since the news came. Now, it felt as if a log of wood was just lifted from my chest.
“Life has given you another chance so take it and make the best out of it,”
I nodded repeatedly. “Thanks, mama”
Michael walked into the room and my mother immediately stood up.
“Dinner is ready. In our chamber,” Michael supplied.
My mother nodded and left the room.
Michael walked up to me and before I could blink, he knelt and wrapped his arms around me. Then he carried me in his arms and hoisted me to his chest.
I laughed.
“Let’s get this mommy back t
o her chamber,”
“Mommy?”
“Yeah. You’re about to be a mommy,”