Chapter 69 Sleep now
RORY POV
I was wide awake the entire night, pretending to be a statue in his arms. It was a cruel kind of torture-feeling the steady, calm rhythm of his heart against my back while mine was shattered into a thousand pieces.
It felt like floating and then getting poked and hitting the ground all at once. That was the only way I could describe it. One moment everything had been warm and real and mine and then that name came out of his mouth and I crashed back down to earth so fast I didn’t even had time to brace for it.
How could he break me like that? I was so stupid. So fucking stupid for letting my guards down and let those three words slip out again. For believing, even for a second, that he was saying them to me.
I spent the entire next day sulking in our room. I barely spoke to anyone. When Alexander left for work in the morning, he paused at the door and told me he was leaving. I didn’t even look up. I didn’t say goodbye. I just stayed curled under the covers, staring at nothing.
Now it was past midnight. I was still in bed when I heard the door open. Alexander strolled in with that usual ease, like the world belonged to him. His eyes found mine immediately. He looked tired but still impossibly put-together. I wondered what kind of "business" kept him out this late or if he just didn't want to face the wreckage he'd left behind.
“No kiss for your husband?” he asked, voice low as he shrugged off his jacket and started removing his cufflinks.
I would’ve enjoyed watching him any other night — the way his fingers moved, the roll of his shoulders — but right now I couldn’t. My insides were burning with questions I couldn’t hold back anymore.
"You called me Anastasia last night," I said. The words burned my throat as they came out.
He halted, his hands dropping from his sleeves as he turned to face me from the vanity. "Yes. I did."
He said it so matter-of-factly, like it was the most normal thing in the world. Like we are talking about the weather not the fact that he'd erased my identity in our most intimate moment.
The casual admission made my chest burn with fresh pain.
"I'm not..." I swallowed hard, trying to keep my voice from trembling. I looked up, forcing him to meet my eyes, desperate for him to see the agony there. "I'm not Anastasia, Alexander."
“I know that.” His voice stayed smooth, almost bored. “I’ve told you — when I look at you, I see my wife. Have you forgotten?”
Nothing pissed me off more than how calm he sounded. Like none of this was insane.
“It’s okay if you’re seeing her in me,” I said, twisting my hands in my lap, “but can you stop calling me her name?”
“Why? Anastasia is a good name.”
Was he being serious right now. Was he genuinely standing there acting like any of this wasn’t completely insane.
“I don’t want it, it isn’t mine.” I whispered.
“I call you your name all the time. Yesterday was just one of those days where I see my wife.” His voice edged with something darker, almost angry. “So, Aurora, I don’t know if I’ll call you Anastasia again. I can’t stop myself, I’m not sure I want to.”
“Even when we have sex again?” The question slipped out before I could stop it.
“Yes.” He didn’t even hesitate. “Even when we have sex. So you better get used to it. You’re her replacement. It won’t hurt to answer to her name when I fuck you.”
I felt my eyes sting. Tears were right there, threatening to spill, but I refused to let him see me cry. I refused to give him that power.
I stood up from the bed.
My legs were shaky. I was still sore from last night and it shot through me when I put weight on them but I forced myself upright anyway.
“Okay.”
That was all he said. No “come back,” no begging, no apology. He just let me walk out of the room like it meant nothing.
As I stepped into the hallway, I made a silent vow. I wouldn't speak another word to him. My voice was a gift, and he had just proven he didn't deserve it. I would be silent until the silence killed us both.
I pushed Liam’s door open slowly.
He stirred immediately, peering up from the pillow with sleepy eyes that widened with worry the moment he saw me.
“Rory?” He sat up. “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“Can I sleep here tonight?” I asked.
His eyes narrowed. So much like his father’s it almost hurt.
“You’re not sleeping in daddy’s room?” he asked.
“No,” I said.
He looked at me for a moment. Then he moved over and waved me toward him like he was the adult and I was the child who needed settling.
“Come on then,” he said. “Let’s sleep.”
I climbed in beside him and pulled the covers over us both. I shifted toward him and held him close, my hand moving slowly over his back.
“Thank you Liam,” I whispered.
“For what?” he asked, his voice already drowsy with sleep pulling him back under.
I didn’t fully know. Maybe because he made life a little easier just by existing in it. Maybe because he always knew how to make me feel like I was worth something just by being near me. Maybe because on a night when I felt like nobody wanted Rory he had moved over without a single question and made space for me.
“For letting me sleep in your room,” I said instead.
“It’s alright Rory,” he murmured. “Sleep now.”
I closed my eyes and let myself drift off in his small, warm arms.