Chapter 18 Filthy thoughts
RORY POV
“Like you want me to fuck you.”
My lips parted involuntarily at those words.
Like you want me to fuck you.
There was absolutely no way in hell.
Heat flooded my ears so fast they burned pink. My pulse hammered in my throat, my clit, everywhere at once.
Why is this happening to me?
Does every boss say things like that to their employees? Is that normal? Is that a thing that happens?
I cleared my throat and stood up abruptly, nearly tripping over my heels. The alcohol was getting the better of me and so was he and I needed to be somewhere that wasn’t directly beside him immediately.
“I have to use the restroom,” I said. I didn’t look at him. I couldn’t look at him. He would see it all over my face and I refused to give him that satisfaction on top of everything else.
"Don't stay long, Aurora."
His voice trailed after me - low, chilled, almost intimate. "I'd hate to have to come find you."
It was genuinely difficult to function properly when you were tipsy and your boss had just told you that you looked at him like you wanted him to take you to bed. I might check him out more than was strictly professional but that was entirely his fault for looking the way he looked and being completely aware of it.
He was out of my league anyway. Completely and entirely out of my league. There was no universe in which that sentence meant anything other than what it was, a man like Alexander Miller using words the way other people used weapons. Just to watch what they did.
I needed cold water on my face. I turned the corner toward the bathroom — and froze.
Steve was blocking the hallway.
God. Can this night just fucking end?
“How could you?” he said. Angry. Actually angry, like he had the gut to be.
“How could I what?” I pressed my fingers to my forehead. A headache was building behind my eyes, I hadn’t taken my pills today and the alcohol was sitting on top of that like a bad decision stacked on another bad decision.
“That man,” Steve said. “How long has it been going on? How are you with someone like him Rory?” He grabbed my hand. “I’ve heard things about him."
He said it like he gave a damn. Like he hadn’t just married my best friend on our supposed wedding day.
"Word has it that he’s a killer!"
I jerked my hand away.
Alexander could be a lot of things, cruel, cold, terrifying. A killer was not something I was willing to entertain from a man who had shown up at my door on his wedding night asking me to be his side piece.
“Why do you care?” I said. “I don’t mean anything to you remember? You love Katherine. I’m just the fat girl you used.”
“Come on Rory.” He stepped closer, sweat already breaking on his forehead. “I still care about you. If I didn’t I wouldn’t have shown up at your door on my wedding night. That man is going to use you and dump you. He’s not right for you.”
“Who hasn’t, Steve?” I laughed. It was bitter, drunk. “I don’t care. Alexander is rich. I might as well stay with someone richer and more handsome than you.”
The alcohol made me bold. Stupidly bold.
I shrugged. “Upgrade.”
I think my words strucked a nerve cause I watched his face harden instantly. His jaw clenched so tight I thought I thought his teeth would crack.
“So it’s about money,” he said. “You’re choosing that man over me because he’s rich. What did I expect.” His voice dropped into something ugly. "You’re a fat bitch who’s desperate to cum.”
My throat tightened. The words sat there refusing to come out the way they always did when something hit somewhere too specific.
But I forced them out anyway. Even though it hurt.
“And it’s not my fault you were too scared to fuck me properly because you thought your dick was too small.” My voice shook but held. “News flash — I don’t have that problem with Alexander.”
Most of it was a lie. I used to tell him it hurt because I was never wet enough. Sometimes I wondered if I was broken. If I was a lesbian. I’d never been properly turned on.
Not unti-
“Baby?”
Katherine’s voice came from behind Steve.
I closed that thought and locked the door on it.
Baby.
“Why are you talking to this stupid bitch?”
She eyed me up and down like she wanted to carve me open.
She changed so much. It's like I never knew her. This wasn't the Katherine I was used to. This one felt like a complete stranger.
“Excuse me,” I said. “My husband is waiting for me.”
I pushed past them — shoulder-checking Katherine harder than necessary.
But I heard her last words to Steve as I walked away.
“Come on, I got the condom and the kits. Lia said we can use the room.”
They are about to have sex.
My heart clenched so hard it hurt. The image flashed — them in some back room, her legs spread, him thrusting, laughing about how pathetic I am.
I couldn’t deal with Alexander right now. I couldn’t be near him without him putting filthy thoughts in my head.