Chapter 178 Unfeeling

Chapter 178 Unfeeling
ANASTASIA POV

I shook my head frantically against the wood, my fingers clawing at the edge of the table just to find an anchor. "I can’t... I can’t... I’m so broken, Alexander. I keep seeing him."

His hands on my waist tightened, but not to hold me down. He shifted his weight, and instead of pushing forward, he pulled back completely. The sudden absence of his heat made me shiver, my skin breaking out in goosebumps.

"Look at me, Ana. Open your eyes."

I couldn't. If I opened them, the illusion might dissolve, and I’d be back in that dark room with Steve laughing over me.

"Ana, please. Just look at me." His voice cracked, losing every ounce of that domineering arrogance. He sounded desperate.

Slowly, trembling so hard my teeth chattered, I turned my head and peeled my eyes open.
Alexander was kneeling on the floor beside the table, completely exposed, but he wasn't looking at my body. His eye was wide, fixed entirely on my face, reflecting a mixture of profound agony and panic. He looked like a man watching his entire world burn down, completely powerless to stop it.

"It's me," he whispered, his hand hovering inches from my cheek, hesitant to touch me. "It's Alexander. You're in my study. Steve is dead, Ana. He can't touch you here."

A harsh, breathless sob escaped me. The contrast between the cold, unyielding man who usually demanded his way and the man currently kneeling in his own skin before me was dizzying.

I pushed myself up, my bare chest heaving as I tried to swallow down the hysteria.

“Water…” I muttered, my throat dry as ash. “I need water.”

He grabbed his pants, pulling them on hastily before heading out the door without a word.

The moment the door clicked shut, I wiped my tears clean. I looked down at my naked body, a sudden wave of embarrassment hitting me.

The scars from the camp were fading, yet they remained vividly etched in my mind. Would Steve ever stop haunting my head?

I took a shaky breath, the weight of reality dawning on me. I wasn't supposed to be doing this. I told myself this visit was strictly for Liam, yet within minutes, I was letting Alexander have his way with me.

I feel embarrassed. I couldn’t believe I broke down mid-sex. Did I have to turn into a coward every time a man got near me?

Desperate to cover myself, I grabbed my bra and clothes from the floor. I hooked my bra hastily, then threw on my shirt. I was just pulling up my joggers when the door opened and Alexander stepped back in.

“Here…” He held out the glass, motioning toward me.

I pulled my joggers up one last time and grabbed the water. I kept my gaze fixed on the glass, terrified of what I would find in those eyes—eye, I mean.

“Thanks,” I said, taking a heavy swig. When it was empty, I set the glass on the table. “I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

He moved toward me fast, his hand shooting up to cup my face, but he caught himself mid-motion. He froze, then stepped back, dropping his arm.

“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have pushed you, knowing you’re still trying to recover.”

I swallowed hard. If I didn't try, how was I supposed to get over the trauma? Was I going to chicken out for the rest of my life?

“It’s fine.” I finally raised my head to look at him. My eyes immediately caught the heavy bulge still visible in his pants. He was still hard—rock hard—and clearly horny. But there was nothing I could do about it. Or rather, nothing I would do about it. He could choose to find pleasure elsewhere. One day, he was going to realize I couldn't be fixed. I was nothing but a broken mess.

“How did it go with Viktoh?” I asked, desperate to change the topic.

His face glistened with a sick sort of amusement. “I had fun. I cut his fingers first, burnt them, and took off his dick while he was still breathing to feed it to the fire. Then I skinned him alive.”

The casual, natural delivery of his words scared the shit out of me. I don’t think I could ever get used to the pleasure Alexander took in hurting people.

“I didn’t ask for details,” I muttered, rolling my eyes slightly to hide the shiver running down my spine.

He hummed in response. “What about Jessica? Did you have fun?”

I shrugged. “A bit.” At least executing her had healed a small piece of my shattered soul.

He nodded, accepting the answer.

A heavy silence fell over the study. I had to put an end to this before I lost my nerve.

“I have to go home, Alexander,” I said, bracing myself. “Liam can stay with you for the rest of the week.”

“Thank you,” he said, his tone genuinely soft.

“He’s your son just as much as he’s mine.”

And honestly, Liam wanted to be with him anyway. Alexander had been around for him far more than I ever was; I had been gone for most of his life.

“We made a feast,” Alexander offered, a hint of plea in his voice. “You can stay for a while and eat something.”

I shook my head, my fingers twisting tightly in my lap. “No… I’ll just eat when I get home.”

Agreeing to stay and eat would only lead to another moment of weakness with him, and it would mess me up even more.

I turned around, heading for the study door. When my hand gripped the handle, I turned back to look at him one last time.

“My dad will send the divorce papers tomorrow. I hope you’ll sign them... for my sake.”

His face fell instantly, his broad shoulders dropping as the light left his single eye.

“Okay.”

Okay? Just okay? Like he was already completely ready to give up on us? I must have truly disgusted or frightened him with my reaction earlier.

“Thank you,” I whispered, my voice thick with an emotion I couldn't contain.

I walked out, slamming the door shut behind me.

He didn’t even fight for us. Unfeeling bastard through and through.

It took everything in my power to keep walking down the hallway instead of collapsing right there to cry my eyes out.

I think it’s finally time I take therapy seriously.